Comfortable Chaos

Chapter 17

Brandi

I don't feel safe here.

Andre cranks up the car and pulls away from the labor place. He isn't talking much. I guess he's pretty upset that they didn't have a job for him. Maybe I can help in some way but I don't think that I should bring it up right now. I don't want him to blow up at me and tell me to get out. We come across a park, where Andre stops and turns off the car.

He leans back in his seat.

"Do you want something from the bag?" I asked.

He shakes his head.

"Maybe we should wait until we get into the shelter and see if they know of any place hiring."

Andre didn't agree or disagree with me. I get the feeling he's still upset about Greg putting us out. It is stressful. For a minute, it seemed like we had a chance at stabilizing things for a bit but as soon as that was given, it was taken away. I don't know what to say to make Andre feel better. I'm not feeling that great myself.

We sit in relative silence but when two o'clock comes we head over to T.K. Walton Center to get in line. Even though we were a little early, the line to get in still wrapped all the way around the building. I feel like a fish that has jumped out of water, accidentally falling on dry land. I don't really want to get out of the car but I follow Andre up to the line. The closer we get to the line, the more I want to turn around. Afraid, I grab Andre's hand and I stick close to him, holding on to his hand and waist. A few more people come up to the line and fall in behind us. I can smell a couple of them. The scent makes me cough. I wish I could stop breathing for a while.

I lean into Andre more, trying to get away from the smell. It doesn't work. It seems to hit me at all sides.

"Hey. Hey."

I hear the sound coming from behind me and reluctantly turn around. It's the person behind me with the smell. The man looks around his late 40s. He has dirty, tattered clothes and matted hair.

"Yes," I said over my shoulder.

"That's a nice cell phone."

I look down at my hip where my phone rests. "Thanks."

"Do you have the Internet on that?" the mystery man asked. His smile reveals missing teeth.

I nod. He continues to eye my phone. I get the feeling he's figuring out a way to steal it. I can only imagine how he would attempt it. I start to tear up. I move in front of Andre and look up at him.

"Do we have to stay here?" I asked.

Andre looks down at me. "Well, it's the only shelter within thirty-eight miles. Where else are we supposed to go?"

"I don't know but I don't feel safe here. Can we leave please?"

A tear starts to fall.

"It's only for a couple of days," Andre whispered in my ear.

I shake my head and gulp. "I don't think I can make it a couple of days."

I've never been around homeless people before and I've never been homeless. The smell of week old body odor and alcohol is making me nauseous.

Andre wraps his arms around me. "I understand. This is a scary place but I'm here for you. You're going to stay with me. I'll protect you."

I glance over. The raggedy mouth man is looking at me with a knowing smile. I shake my head. "I can't do it. I can't stay here."

I dart out of the line and stomp back to the car.

"Brandi! Brandi!"

I hear Andre calling me but there is no way I'm getting back in that line. The smell makes me want to gag and I have this awful feeling that something bad will happen to me in there. Andre catches up to me a few feet from the car. He grabs my arm and turns me around.

"What else are we supposed to do?" he asked.

"I don't know but I'm not going in there."

"Why can't you trust me?"

"I already did and look where we are."

He put his hands on his chest. "So, this is my fault?"

No. It's my fault. I'm the one who ran away from home. I'm the one who hid a 'D' on my Science test and I'm the one who made the 'D.' It stands to reason that I'm the one largely responsible for the predicament we are in but I can't allow him to think that. I need him on my side. I can't allow him to think that I'm toxic and leave me. It's better if he feels like he has some part in the situation we're in.

I cross my arms. "You said your cousin would let us stay there."

"I thought he would. I don't know why he did that. You heard him the night before. He said that we could stay for as long as we needed to. What do you think happened? Did you guys butt heads or something?"

I drop my arms to my side. "What? Are you saying I'm the reason he put us out?!"

"No." He reaches over and hugs me. "I'm as confused about this as you are. If you don't want to stay, we can go."

Andre walks toward the car and opens the door. I walk to the passenger side and get in. I'm so glad he sees things my way. I hope we can find a better place to stay.