I kicked my shoes off and went into the living room San, following close behind me. I set my drink and the dessert bag on the coffee table.
San sat down, putting his drink on the table and pulling out his textbook. I grabbed mine and set it on the table along side his. I sat down next to San, and we picked up where we left off.
*2 hours later*
I stretched my arms out and yawned. San sat up straight, setting his pen down.
"Wanna take a break?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said, smiling. I grabbed my coffee and took a few sips. San got up and walked out of the living room. I stared after him, confused.
He walked back in and grabbed the dessert bag, taking out the slice of cake and handing me a fork.
"Thank you. This is exactly what I need right now." I said, smiling and taking the fork. I ate a few bites.
"Do you wanna try it?" I asked San, raising my fork ready with cake on it.
"Actually, I do it looks amazing." He said, delighted.
San leaned over, taking the fork in his mouth and pulling the cake off. San looked up at me with some frosting on his upper lip. My face flushed.
He sat up straight.
"That's really good. I should order that next time." San said.
"Uhh.. You have some cake on your face.." I said.
"I do? Where?" San asked, wiping around his mouth.
"It's um.. you know what here." I said, reaching over. I used my thumb and wiped the frosting off his lip. My hand felt tingley. San stared wide-eyed at the sudden contact.
"There you go." I approved. San raised his hand to his lip where my thumb just was. His face was red.
"Should we get back to it?" He said a little out of it.
"Yeah." I said, pushing the cake to the side and scooching closer to San for a better view of the textbook.
"See this part. If you do this, it's easier." He said, writing an example.
"Oh wow. That helps a lot." I said, looking at him. He looked up and met my eyes.
The thing happened again. All I could do was stare at him, like his eyes drew me in, holding me there.
San turned away first. He cleared his throat, going back to the textbook. I barely retained anything he said after that.
*Later*
San was throwing away his coffee cup when I saw what time it was.
"San!" I called out. He came back into the living room.
"Yeah? What's up?" He asked.
"It's almost 10. Do you need to be going home?" I asked.
"Oh yeah, I do." San said, grabbing his things.
"Oh, okay." I said disappointed. I helped San clean up. When we were done, I walked him to the door.
"Good night, San. I'll see you later." I said.
"Good night." He said. I watched him walk up the sidewalk until he was out of view.
Once he was gone, I ran and grabbed my phone to call Izzy. Before I could tell her too much, she said "Wait wait, I'm coming to your house right now. I'll be there in a few minutes." And hung up.
The door blew open, and a panting Izzy came in, shutting it behind her.
"Tell me everything." Is all she said.
I told her about everything that happened. When we were watching Greys anatomy the other night, we almost kissed. After school, he waits to walk with me. I told her about how I wiped frosting off his lip.
By the time I was done, she was practicing writing her speech for our wedding.
"No, seriously, how does this sound?" She asked, talking about the mock speech she wrote. I laughed and hit her with a pillow, and she laughed.
"Wow. He's definitely into you." Izzy said.
"I think he is!!" I said.
"In all seriousness, it sounds like you're falling for him." Izzy said gently.
"That's.. terrifying." I said. "But also... exciting." I smiled.
"So? What are you gonna do?" Izzy asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled.
"Well, are you gonna date him?" Izzy said.
"Oh, I don't know. This is our last year of school. I don't know if I'll even have time for a boyfriend when school goes into full swing." I said, shrugging.
"True. But.. what if he's the one?" Izzy asked, smiling.
"Then we'll find each other again." I said.
"You know it's okay to want him? To want a boyfriend? To want to love him, to want him to love you." Izzy said, putting her hand on mine.
"Yeah, I know." I looked at her. "I'm just so scared. I've never liked someone as much as I like him, and if it doesn't work out.. I'm scared I'll break apart." I said quietly.
"Hey, it's okay to be scared. Falling for someone is terrifying, and if you do break apart, I'm right here. I'll always be right here, and if you need help putting yourself together again, I'll be here for that, too." Izzy said. I threw my arms around her, and we hugged.
When we pulled apart, a few tears were running down my face. She wiped them away and looked me in the eyes.
"It's okay." She said and hugged me again.
Izzy stayed the night with me. I was up late thinking of what she said. I think she's right. I think I am falling for San.
What do you do when you're scared to fall in love?
