On My Doorstep [Editing]

Chapter 29

TW: Panic Attacks

KEVIN

It was sudden, or at least it seemed to surprise Fawn, but I knew it was coming. I'd been watching her since court had been adjourned; her breathing, eyes, the way she tilted her head when I'd ask her questions. Though I was next to her the whole time, her brain seemed to be checking out here and there. She was fighting for her life, and it was starting to wear down on her body.

So, when we got back, I asked her mom and sister to take Ami with them to the family room. And as soon as there was no one to put on airs for, Fawn started to hyperventilate.

I was forced to drag her along with me to grab a paper bag because her hand had gotten a hold of mine and would not let go. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel worse by leaving to go somewhere while I forced her to sit alone, even if I wasn't going far. I was familiar enough with her kitchen that it only took me a short while to find the paper bags. I flapped it in the air to open it up, then placed it over Fawn's mouth.

"Long, deep breaths," I whispered. "In... Out..."

Fawn looked at me while she tried her best to fill her lungs with oxygen. She looked better, but her breathing was still uneven, and tears were streaming down her face. My first instinct was to rub circles in the small of her back.

"You're going through a lot, and it's just overwhelming your nervous system. Just remember to breathe... Remember, you're safe... You're doing great, okay?"

After a few minutes, her breathing had slowed and we were able to move back to the couch. I had managed to grab a tub of lime sorbet on the way as well, just in case she felt like soothing herself with sugar. Her chest was still stuttering every once in a while, so I knew it was too early for her to say anything. I didn't want to risk her hyperventilating again.

"I was on Pinterest the other day, and I saw this delicious-looking pasta recipe," I started, glancing over at Fawn. She still had the paper bag over her mouth, shrinking and expanding as she breathed, but her eyes said it all. One squinted, and the brow above it came down, while the other brow shot up.

With a chuckle I said, "yes, I use Pinterest. Anyway, it's this creamy, tomato pasta. There's plenty of cheese; I know you love cheese. And-"

"What would the sides be," Fawn asked.

My heart filled with a warm feeling, and I relaxed. I hadn't noticed I'd even been tense, but hearing her say something let me know for sure that she would be okay. As much as Fawn was worried about Ami, the case, Brenda, and everything else that was running through her mind, I worried about all that and her. While she seemed willing to sacrifice herself to make sure everyone else was okay, I tried to make sure she would still be okay to see it all okay.

"Um," my voice shook a little. I cleared my throat, then with a smile replied, "broccoli, probably."

Fawn sat up, "broccoli?!"

"What's wrong with broccoli? It's nutritious, goes with, like, everything, and can be eaten raw, blanched, boiled-"

"Brussels sprouts are better."

I almost choked, completely incredulous, "b-brussels sprouts?!"

We went on like that for a while, fighting for our respective sides and, by the time we'd come to an agreement, Fawn was laughing as she ate her sorbet, I was grinning, and the paper bag was on the coffee table.

It was two hours after her panic attack when she asked to see Ami. We went to the family room and found three ladies asleep on the carpeted floor. Ami was laying atop Talia, and Mrs. Bonheur was curled up beside them underneath a blanket.