On My Doorstep [Editing]

Chapter 21

FAWN

"Alright, here we are," I say out loud as I pull into the parking space closest to the elevator; expectant and new mothers parking. I pause for a second, then sigh, "I mean, nous sommes arrivés !" I forget to speak French to my baby sometimes.

Yeah, my girl is pushing  seven months, but I don't give a damn. She's my baby, and no one's gonna question me parking here anyway.

I turn around to look at Ami, who was distracted by her teething toy. She continued to gnaw at it for a little bit, unaware that I was watching her through the carseat mirror. Eventually, though, I figure it's time to stop admiring her and get up to our appointment.

I get my stuff, her stuff, the keys, and Ami of course. She's happy to get out of the car seat. So happy, she lets go of her toy, which falls to the ground of the parking lot. Leaning over, I do my best to keep her from noticing as I grab it and shove it into my pocket.

"Okay- What?" I ask Ami, who is staring into the depths of my soul like she knows what I did. Her head dips to the right slightly, then she looks around her at what she can see from the view of my hip.

She then surveys her shirt, my shirt, and finally gets to her hands. Ami stares at them for a short while, and I lock the car, going toward the elevator before she starts crying. It's enevitable, just a matter of time now.

"Buh buh buuuh..." I bounce Ami on my hip, doing my best to keep her distracted while we wait for the elevator. She stares at me for a little while before smiling with her mostly empty gums.

"Bah bah bah!"

The elevator doors finally open, but I'm preoccupied with looking through the baby bag. "Where's that other toy...?"

"Which floor?" Some guy in the elevator asks. I don't look up, and just tell him, "12, please."

Ami continues making sounds, filling the silence of the elevator with her voice. After we pass the third floor, that doesn't seem to be entertaining enough. Next thing I know, she's yanking at my braids.

"Ah!"

"Ow!" My eyes shoot up to look at Ami, who's extremely pleased with herself. "Ma chere, pourquoi ?! Ça fait mal! Pourquoi fais-tu toujours ça?!" I grab her hand, trying to loosen her death grip on my locks, but she fights back, tugging even harder. "Ami-"

"Ha ha ha, that's cute."

Me and Ami both turn our attention to our elevator neighbor, who seems to really be enjoying the show. He turns around, still laughing, and I instantly feel stupid.

"...Kevin, hi."

"Hey, it's good to see the two of you," he steps toward us, and pats Ami on the head. "Been a while."

Ami touches the part of her head where Kevin's hand was, looks at me, then furrows her brows. As she contemplates life, I look back at Kevin.

"Yeah, it has. How've you been?"

Ugh, that sounded too unfamiliar.

I can tell he's thinking the same thing as me, because for a second, he looks surprised. Still, he shakes it off then smiles again, "Good, you?"

My eyes can't help but move from his down to his lips, "good..."

A breath hitches in my throat, which he notices. Kevin takes my hand, interlaces our fingers, coming even closer to me. He exhales, and I can feel his breath on my face.

"I've missed you, Fawn..."

"Kevin-"

"Mama!"

Ami throws her hand between us and onto Kevin's face. If separating us was her goal, she definitely succeeded.

The both of us come back to reality, and create an appropriate amount of distance between us. Kevin, who looks apologetic, turns around and clears his throat.

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine... Oh my God!"

"What?" He asks with concern.

I stare at Ami, and she's kind of oblivious to the tears that start to well up in my eyes. "I think that was her first word... That's the first time she's called me mama!"

Ami looks at me, and gives me her biggest grin before she says, once again, "Mama!"

******

"You could've told me you were here for an appointment when we were in the elevator," Kevin smirks while he washes his hands in one of those small sinks, the sanitary ones.

I roll my eyes, "you could've said you knew I was here for an appointment."

"Well, what's the fun in that?" Kevin smiled as he sat in front of me and Ami with a tablet in his hands. "So, just a quick check-up today kiddo?"

Ami flashes him a big smile, to which he returns one of his own. I can feel a warmth in my chest from seeing how well they get along, and I join their happy party.

Kevin proceeds to check her ears, eyes, mouth, nose, and everything else that's important. The hammer to her knee for reflexes was not fun to watch, but Ami thought it was hilarious.

"Alright, we are done," Kevin sighs, "and she is perfect. Everything is great, her development is on track. You can check in with our receptionist to book the next appointment."

I've already gathered my things, and I smile at him, waiting for something else. He just looks at me, which tells me that we're basically done here.

Which is fine, I mean it's not like I should be expecting anything else.

"Welp, we will see you later," I stand to leave, with Ami on my hip. As I start to walk past Kevin, he grabs my hand.

"What's happening with us," he asks me, now standing up as I look his way. I really don't want to look him in the eyes, cause that'll make it harder to avoid this conversation.

But I love his eyes!

When I look up, his gaze is hot and intent. There's no way I can avoid telling him the truth, nor should I try.

"I'm seeing some- I'm engaged to someone else."

My heart sinks at the look of hurt and disappointment on Kevin's face. He lets go of my hand, creating an unnecessary amount of distance between us.

"For how long?"

"About four months," I take a few steps toward him, trying to take his hand again, "but it wasn't serious in the beginning!"

The look he gives me is incredulous.

"How is an engagement not serious?"

After saying it, I realized how stupid it sounded. "I said yes because he was someone I kinda dated in college, and he wanted to obtain control of his family's company... Look, meeting and spending time with you has been like breathing new air. I wasn't sure about the engagement, and I was really considering being with you."

Kevin sighs, seeming more open to listening now, "and now?"

"He's changed... And I want to give this relationship a chance."

Kevin turns around, having heard enough, and walks over to his office window. I watch as his shoulders drop, and part of me just wants to go over there and hug him.

"Kevin-"

"Just go, Fawn. Leave."

I look down, trying to get a hold of myself and not cry. I really hate this. Rejection isn't something I enjoy, and even then it's usually not a big deal. But this hurts. This hurts a lot more than usual, and that makes me wanna cry.

I take a second to adjust Ami's position in my arms, then turn to leave. But I stop at the door before I head out.

"I hope this isn't the last time we talk."

*********