Riddle OneShots

5: Broken Promise

* dark chapter, self harm, drugs, failed healing, idk pls don't read if you don't wanna get sad or if you are already in a sad mood*

(U are not alone if you can relate, I got out of this shit a year ago with lots of help and failed attempts but I'm finally out, so, believe in yourself, I love you<3)

A was suffering from depression. 

Mattheo Riddle was a drug addict. Six months ago they had met in a clinic and have been there for each other since then. 

They had a special bond, both went to Hogwarts and seven weeks ago A finally got the courage to talk with Mattheo about her scars. 

He got the courage to ask her out and now they were officially a couple. 

He knew she had depression and probably hurted herself and he knew about her insecurities but he had never seen her scars. 

When he did, he was shocked. 

How could such a beautiful kind-hearted girl hate herself so much she'd do this to herself?

Nobody should feel that way about themself. 

He felt like crying but for her he kissed and hugged her instead, keeping his tears from falling out of his eyes. 

After the long time he let go of her and held out his pinkie. 

He knew if he did this he needed to be strong but for this and for her it was worth it. 

"If you don't hurt yourself today I promise to not smoke today!" 

She connected their pinkies and said: "Promise."

Y/n's sight: 

Fuck, I definitely shouldn't have done this. 

I saw the look on his face when I showed him my arms. 

I knew he was gonna be disgusted.

I knew it. 

Why, why, why did I do this? 

I hate myself, I hate myself so fucking much. 

I know I don't deserve him, he looks like a God but I can't let him, he is so sweet to me, I am so selfish, I know that but I can't let him go. 

I possibly can't. 

Tears streamed like a waterfall down my cheeks, why did I always screw up, I always did. 

I got out my pocket knife again, sliding it across my arm, the cold blade harming my skin, which was unprotected, like this cold cruel world is cutting me down, down down down until I'm on the ground and then down down down until I die because of it. 

Another slide, and one more because it makes me forget the bigger pain, cut for cut, one by one, piece for piece. 

I know I promised Mattheo, and I love him very much but this helps. 

And he doesn't have to know. 

He surely won't notice.

Mattheo's sight: 

Not smoking was hard. 

I needed weed to get over the pain, over my childhood trauma. 

But I promised. 

We were practicing quidditch together later that day, when I noticed her sleeve falling down onto her shoulder, while she was catching the ball. 

Are you kidding me? 

It had cost me -and still does- so much energy to not do drugs today but I had kept my promise.

For her. 

In the evening I sat on the Astronomy tower, smoking, when Draco came in. 

I needed it, it made me forget the broken promise. 

"Didn't you promise A to not smoke today?" 

I took a deep breath and blew out the smoke from my mouth. 

It dissolved into the cold misty air. 

Inhale, exhale. 

There wasn't pain anymore, finally. 

"She broke her promise first."

| any wishes for the next chapters? |