Bloodline (Supernatural)

38 - A Permanent Out

I gave them their out. They need to make the best of it. They'll choose whether or not they want me in their lives. I've done the damage, after all. It may be unforgivable.

The three of us sit outside of my house, in the Impala. Mom's car remains home, so I'm sure she's watching us from inside. I hope she doesn't think they'll just run off with me. There is no danger coming after me anymore. Or my family.

"What are you guys gonna do with your new freedom?" I ask. They've only had it for a few days, so I don't expect a full-fledged plan to come tumbling out.

"Guess we'll take our time and figure it out," says Dean, leaning back in the front seat. "We've talked about it, sure, but it was pipe dreams then. This...this is legit."

"It is legit." Where do I fit into it, though?

"I guess we'll see what the world's willing to give us for all the years of saving it," says Sam.

"Hopefully it's something good," I say.

"Are you going to be okay?"

I exhale. "Jury's still out. I guess time will tell. I've got to rebuild the pieces of my life that have been out of the picture. People probably think I've been dead, with all the time I've missed at school."

"Man, still can't believe kids are actually interested in school," says Dean. "What are they doing now that they weren't when we were going?"

I shrug. "Can't tell you, I don't work in education. I don't even have a job." But I've got experiences no sixteen-year-old should have.

I have to keep reminding myself of that, and the world. I'm just sixteen. In my time away from school, I feel like my life has accelerated from trauma. That I've aged beyond what I should be right now. What does that feel like, exactly? I have no idea. I just know that I'll need to constantly remind myself that I'm back in my natural environment. Monster-free. Hunter-free. Supernatural-free.

School will be a nice distraction from the last few months. The shot of normalcy that I should've never gone without.

"It's never easy, going back to your old ways."

Sam's soft tone snaps me out of my thoughts. I blink the confusion away. "But will it be, eventually?"

"With you, kiddo, I think it will," Dean says. "You weren't in the game as long as Sam and I have been. Given time, all this should be a distant memory."

Right. But some parts I don't want to block in my mind. Other parts I wish I could erase, but the damage has been done. Mentally and physically. Those won't just disappear at my insistence.

"Talking to someone might help you," Sam offers.

I snort. "What licensed therapist is going to want to take me on?"

"There's got to be specially licensed therapists for people like us. We've just never sought out that help."

"Well, hey, if you look into and it works out, do you mind passing along that information? I don't want to designate my mom as my therapist. That's not fair on her." And if anything, she could join me on those sessions. She had her toes in the supernatural long enough to get some trauma in her life. "Are you sure you guys don't want to just...hang around? Stay for dinner?" I offer timidly.

"Sorry, kiddo," Dean says. "Maybe another time."

"If you do, bring those board games. I want a proper family game night." Blush creeps into my cheeks as I realize I let that slip out.

"I think that can be arranged."

There's hope. I can use that, for now.

Before the awkwardness in the Impala can suffocate us all, I hop out of the backseat. I start for the house but stop, looking back. At Sam and Dean. At my father and my uncle. It's still a weird concept even if it's fact now.

"You know where we live if you decide to pop in," I say awkwardly. "Just don't let it be for a hunt."

"Considering what you did for us, Willa, it sure as hell won't be."

I nod. "Happy retirement, you guys." I mock salute them as the Impala pulls away, her engine purring. Part of me is going to miss that noise, even if I didn't hear it all that often.

Mom opens the door before I can even touch it. This hug feels different from all the rest. Not your standard, welcome home, I've missed you so much type of hug. It makes me hold onto her a little tighter.