Unspoken Pain and Hidden Scars

The Butterfly Effect: Sexual Harassment

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT(PART ONE) SEXUAL HARASSSMENTI've always believed in the butterfly effect. Everything we do has consequences; good or bad. These days I've been watching the hours go by, waiting for my consequence to arrive. I've learnt not to rely on others for happiness. I don't even remember what I've been doing these past months.
All had I know is I've been waiting. I know it's been a while I've bothered you with my blogposts. Yeah, if I'm being honest, I've not been doing too well. I feel like I rescued myself from a dark hole and then got sucked right back in. I've been stressing over feminism-related issues. Because honestly, if I don't talk about it; who will? I know a lot of you think I'm very public with my life, well I'm not. But if talking about my pain instead of holding it back and hiding it from people who need to hear it makes me a public person, then so be it.
Today I'll be talking about an experience that gave and still gives me chills till now. I think about two weeks ago; I was on an errand for my mom around the express. I wanted to buy roasted corn (I saw it and couldn't help myself, lol). The corn seller was chatting with this man who looked roughly about fifty. This dude had his eyes set on me the moment I started walking to the place. Have you ever had a moment when your spirit just tells you something is off but you ignore it and then you realize your instincts were right? Well, this was one of those moments.
This man started talking to me and asking for my name, where I lived and what I was doing there. God knew how much I wanted to give him a sarcastic answer (you saw me holding money and walking up to the corn seller, you're asking me what I'm doing there, I was playing tennis ni, agbaya). Anyways, this man kept trying to engage me, I answered none of his questions and just kept smiling hoping he would get the hint that I wasn't interested and back off. I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand and started accusing me of shading him. The corn seller was laughing like it was funny, my hand was starting to hurt because I was resisting, his smelly breath was fanning my face, I was beyond angry. I think my anger just switched to fear when he put his other hand on my waist, clearly ignoring my resistance.
He accused me of playing hard to get, said I was doubting his ability to take care of me if I accepted his stupid advances. I don't think I'd ever panicked that much in public before. I wasn't sure what his intentions were but I lost it when his hand placed on my waist started to lower. This 50+ year old man was groping me. The moment I was able to loosen his grip; I ran as fast as I could. I'm not one to let my emotions show in public but I cried all the way home that day. What hurts the most is that these people saw it as a joke, they were laughing as I left and the pervert got away with what he did because our society is tilted to support sexual harassment and abuse. With all my knowledge about feminism, I still tried to convince myself I was overreacting but I really wasn't. It was a normal reaction to my fear.
I know I'm not the only teenage girl who's had to go through this, who has had to resist these foolish and entitled men everywhere. The struggle is hard and sometimes, it seems like all hope is lost. Sexual harassment and abuse has been normalized. This is why I'm writing this, in hope that someone out there reads this and understands that they're not alone and we can fight this, by speaking up, supporting feminism and resisting.
We are not sexual objects!
If you're a girl and your strength when speaking to boys is 'me I'm not a feminist o', I pity you. These same feminists you're accusing of doing too much is why you're allowed to go to school, travel, work and even have a life. But you're there opening your big mouth to support patriarchy. You'll be against feminism until you're out on the street and a 50-year-old man gropes you, slaps your buttocks and nothing happens. Dey play.
Also, if the first thing you ask when you hear about a woman who was r@ped is 'what was she wearing that made him do it?', 'maybe she was going somewhere she shouldn't have been', 'maybe she insulted him'. Then you are ignorant and you deserve whatever is coming your way.
PS: If you're a guy reading this and it makes you uncomfortable, then it means I'm saying something right.
Anyways, till next time dear readers. Thanks for reading! Please share, comment and spread the feminine gospel. I love you!!!!!