a long hour flys by, our home that was previously filled with gentle claps, heavy breathing and dry grunts was now quiet. mariah had to shower once again after spilling all over herself and now she lies next to me peacefully sleeping, her body wrapped into my right arm. long strands of brown hair ticking my chin as i aimlessly stared at the ceiling.
there were awkward moments that we've never experienced before that i was unsure of, i was unable to physically get my body to react to her pleasures. i was quite embarrassed from it and even a little nervous and so was mariah she kept giving ne a certain glance here and there like she was questioning if something was happening or if im not attracted to her which i believe i am.
i know i am.
i think.
i didn't know anymore. i didnt wanna think about it and overwhelm myself too much but then again i dont want to sleep because i was afraid of wakening mariah to one of my stupid nightmares that have been pulsing through my body for way too long, i refuse to seek help for it leaving me with bad sleeping habits.
i dont like help. i dont need help. i am not sick or harmed or going to harm others and i can control my mind and body willingly. why would i need help from a shrink thats being forced to listen to my idiotic life and decisions just to be paid five hundred dollars. my life isn't that interesting.
born, abused, raised, adult.
get over it. why cant my body
get over it.
YOU ARE READING
heartless | dreamnotfound
Fanfictionwith a wicked past and a twisted and sick mind george tries to become a different person yet he fails multiple times due to his ongoing trauma causing him to have reoccuring nightmares; already slipping into insanity when he gets betrayed by the onl...
