DUTY (Fanfic Reiner)

Dream

"I don't really know what's going on with that girl, but you should stop whatever it is," Annie's feminine but stern voice interjected, interrupting our conversation.

"What do you mean? I was just saying that I found her adorable during training," I replied, my former self from a long time ago.

"Exactly... that's the problem. I'm fed up with it," she retorted angrily, standing up from the table and placing her hands on it. Fortunately, the room was empty. "We're here because we have a mission. Remember? And also, you're the one who wanted to follow through with it, and now... now you only talk about that brat."

"Annie... don't you dare call her that again," I also stood up, and I think I looked very serious. "I haven't forgotten about the mission. We'll complete it soon and go back home. I promise you that." I said the last part while glancing at Bertholdt.

Although she didn't seem satisfied with my answer, she remained silent for the rest of the time. I have to admit that it relieved me a lot. I didn't want to face the reality of the situation.

The reality was that the mission was the most important thing, and the only reason we were there.

"Reiner, I think you should apologize to her. You know she didn't say it to bother you; she just wants to go back to her father as soon as possible," Bertholdt said to me after Annie had gone to bed with the other girls.

"I can understand that, but sometimes I think she does say those things to annoy me. And besides, you're only saying that because you like her," I retorted, and I remember my friend blushing and quickly trying to change the subject to push his feelings aside.

He cared about her deeply... but Bertholdt is gone now, and Annie... probably too.

Now, it's just me.

And it's eating me up inside, bit by bit.

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Why did I dream that?

Do I miss them so much?

And the worst part is that I ended up remembering it completely. It's also quite funny that I thought that moment was a good one. The same moment that night while I was sleeping, I couldn't stop thinking if I was fulfilling my role as an honorary Marleyan.

Now being an "honorary Marleyan" doesn't matter to me at all.

I just want my comrades back. All of them.

I feel like I should apologize to them properly.

I even think I need to apologize to the demons of Paradis. I'm so confused. Honestly, I don't know what to believe or what's right anymore. I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope that could snap at any moment and make me fall.

I don't want to fall into that abyss. Really, I don't.

That abyss that seems to smile at me from within, waiting for me to fall.

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They want me to join a war. One that apparently started almost at the same time as the mission to retrieve the Founding Titan. The truth is, I don't even know who we're supposed to fight against. I have to go back to fighting. And I don't want to. I'm not even prepared.

But what other choice do I have?

I can't simply refuse my superiors and carry on with my life. The consequences of that would fall on my family, on my mother. So I have to accept without objections. After all... it's my duty as a warrior. To fight if they need me, and follow orders.

It's not a life for anyone, not even for me now.

All I want is to rest.

But I will do it anyway. I will fulfill my duty.