DUTY (Fanfic Reiner)

Prelude

I'm starting to think that my whole life is going too fast. And I don't know where it's heading. I'm tired, and I don't even want to imagine a future. I don't want there to be one. I walk through the streets of Liberio while only being able to think about old comrades. They are no longer here; they can't see what I see right now. But I can, and I don't want to.

I think... I'm starting to lose my mind.

I see them often.

I know they're not real, but... for at least a moment, it seems like they are.

This can't go on like this, really, it can't.

I have to do something.

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"A festival?"

Gabi is telling me something about wanting to go to that. Honestly, I wasn't listening completely. Every time I see her, I remember that she's getting closer to obtaining the Armored Titan, and... I feel bad. Also, when I told Falco that it had to be him who gets it and that he should fight for it. They're just kids. And I'm selfish.

"Yeeees, I've already explained it to you, Reiner. You'll come with us, right?" she asks me insistently. But, of course, I'll have to go; after all, it's the least I can do.

Apparently, the head of the Tybur family will give a speech in front of everyone to emphasize the importance of recovering the Founding Titan and ending Paradis. All of this is too much for me. It's practically already decided, so... I'll have to go.

Why?

I... don't want to.

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"Are you okay? I know you had a hard time in the last battle... so I mean, besides that, are you okay?" It's Pieck who's asking me.

But how can I honestly answer her? It's impossible. Also, to make matters worse, Porco is present too. Damn warrior meetings.

"Sure, just a bit tired," I reply, but it doesn't convince her. "We're all tired. Do we need a break, right?" I look at both of them, trying to smile a bit, though I'm not sure if I succeeded.

She looked at me again, this time with concern, and then changed the subject. After all, we're not here to talk about me or my health. While I can see Porco looking at me distrustfully. And honestly, he should, because I recognize myself less and less. I hope Zeke starts talking as soon as possible.

It's true... I'm tired.

Maybe too much.

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I hardly recognize the streets of Liberio. They're all so lively, filled with stalls, and people seem very happy. I suppose that's how festivals are. Gabi and the other candidates are also in high spirits, and I even think they've managed to pass some of it on to me, if only a little. Now I wonder... could it always be like this? Where there are no wars or Titans, no demon blood, and only people exist. Where my only concern is spending my savings to make some children happy. I wish a world like that could exist.

But let's be honest. Deep down, we know it can't.

The battle against Paradis will begin very soon, and everything will turn black.

Everything.

And I'll end up in the abyss, if I'm still alive by then.

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Tonight is the speech. It's amazing the power the Tyburs hold. Even high-ranking officials are here. The warriors and candidates were obviously invited too.

It's going to be a night where everything will be decided. The danger posed by the island and its demons will be exposed.

But... I think I can endure it.

I'll try to compose myself, at least for now. That's what I need.

I'll stick with the others, stay quiet, and prepare myself for what awaits.

Yes, I think I can do that.

Even though it kills me inside to think about the pain and suffering I'm going to cause to others.

It will all be over soon... and I can finally rest.

Maybe I can even see her one last time before...

It doesn't matter.

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"I would like to be more like you; it seems like nothing scares you, whereas I... I'm terrified."

"The thought of the future scares me, it's difficult to know if you'll still be alive or not."

"I'm not entirely sure, but... I think I want to stay by your side."