How it happened

Part 1: The ledge

 Look at you comforting others with the words you wish to hear- unknown

Harpers POV:

I wish I knew what happens after death. Maybe It'd make me feel safer causing it. Now that makes me sound like a serial killer but by causing death I only mean causing my own. 

At the moment I'm standing on the roof of my boyfriend's apartment complex. I'm not even sure I'm going to jump but, the sight of the ground so far from the ledge makes the idea seem all that more pleasing. If I am going to die this would be an okay place for it to happen. It's dark and you can see the stars glittering the sky in a blanket of little lights. There's a cool breeze on my skin blowing my hair slightly to the side.  Overall it wouldn't be a bad place to leave this world. I move climbing over the edge so I'm sitting on the foot wide piece of concrete between my body and death. One push and It could be over. The thought slightly exhilarates me. One push and I could escape. That's all it takes. 

In the midst of my thoughts a voice calls out to me. 

"Hey, you should really get down." It's calling with a sort of finality that makes me want to stay just to piss it off. I look over my shoulder and I know it's a man, mostly because of the voice but, also the large build. He's strong but not too bulky not like Jackson, he's lean and tall. He's probably got a nice face but I can't see it because the lights up here are all broken and it's currently midnight.

"I think I'm okay." I call back calmly. I can tell that he knows why I'm here. His entire body is rigid. He looks like he hasn't even breathed and one hand is reaching out to me as if he could get here in time if I decide to take that one push. He can't. 

"I'd really like it if you'd get down." He says emphasizing the word "really" and "I'd" as if his opinion would persuade me to get down. 

"No. I'd really like it if I'd stay here." I answer with a slight edge in my voice. He takes a cautious step toward me and then another and then another until he's beside me on the ledge. 

"Why not?" 

"Because I'm up here for a reason." 

"I afraid I can't let you jump." He says simply I glance at him. I still can't see his face but I can smell him. He smells like laundry detergent, pine and something I can't place. I relish in the scent and I can see the outline of messy curls on top of his head. 

"Why?" I ask knowing the answer. "It's immoral I'd feel so bad if you died and I didn't stop it." What he doesn't know is that death is so much better than my life. I'm going to die from it sooner or later I'd much rather die on my own terms than anyone else's. But to my surprise his response is different.

"What's the point?" He shrugs. What's the point of living I think to myself. I turn and hop off the ledge. As I start to walk away I notice he's following me. 

"what do you want?!" 

"To walk you home." 

"You can't"

"Why not?" Because if Jackson sees you he'll be pissed and I can't make him mad again today. 

"Because I'm fine"

"Says the girl who was about to jump off a 12 story building" I don't answer "I'm Alex." He's holding his hand out to me now. 

"Harper." I answer quickly shaking his hand. "I have to go." I shoot out before turning and sprinting up the stairs. 

"Wait!" I can hear him calling me back but what I don't expect is for a large hand to wrap around my arm as soon as I manage to open the door to the stairwell. My body reacts in the only way it seems to know how and I flinch away. I wait for what seems like an eternity to look up at him but I'm shocked when I do. 

The first thing I notice are his eyes. They're a bright cobalt blue with a ring of green around the pupils. There's a crown of dark hair messily on top of his head. He's staring at me bewildered like he can't decide what to do. I shake my head breaking my trace and pull away running down the stairs. I don't stop until I slam the door of Jack's apartment behind me. I rest my head on it taking a few deep breaths.

"Harper. Where the fuck were you?!" My eyes bolt open to see an angry Jackson stomping towards me his bulky body taking up most of the small hallway. 

"baby I'm so sorry I just needed some fresh air" I respond quietly looking at my feet. 

"Why didn't you tell me?! I was fucking worried!" He yells. I put a hand on his shoulder comforting him but before I can even close in to hug him his hands clasp around my shoulders roughly pushing me into the door. A whimper escapes my lips before I can stop it and I open my eyes to see him stomping away. My legs seem to have a mind of their own because I run after him only to have his bedroom door slammed in my face, deciding to give him some space I go to shower. 

As soon as I step into the hot shower I relax I stand in the hot spray for a while before getting out and wrapping a fluffy towel around my body, looking in the mirror I see bruises starting to appear over my back and handprints on the sides of my arms. Knowing how to fix Jack's attitude I put on a set of lacy black lingerie and slaunter into the bedroom before covering the bruises in makeup. Jackson doesn't like to see them.

I walk in to find him facing away from the door laying on his side. I turn his shoulder forcing him to lay flat on the bed and climb on him straddling him. There are tears in his eyes and his blonde hair is disheveled, I'm not even remotely turned on but, I feel him grow below me. I start to grind my hips to his while he's mumbling his apologies. 

"I didn't mean it Harpy. I swear. I just got mad. I'm so fucking sorry. God I'm a bastard" and I respond with kind words of forgiveness forcing myself to believe them because I love Jack.

"It's okay baby. I love you. It's my fault. I shouldn't have made you mad." I start to unbutton his jeans before peeling them off along with his boxers. He flips us over so he's on top like he likes while he rips the back lace off of my body leaving little burns and bruises as he goes.  And as he thrusts into me I can't help but imagine a pair of bright blue eyes staring into me instead of Jackson's dull brown ones. I imagine a different set of  hips thrusting into mine and the orgasm seems attainable. The moans pool out of me in short gasps.

"yes. Yes. ohh. Please Jack. Please." I beg him as he moans into my hair soon I feel his thrusts speeding up and for once I match my hips to match his as I continue to beg for release and as he lets go and finishes inside me I feel myself release around him seeing only blue eyes and curly brown hair. 

As soon as he rides out his orgasm Jackson rolls off of me and falls asleep. I force myself out of the bed and clean all of the disgusting white seed out of myself before falling back in bed and asleep.