𝙴𝚍𝚍𝚜𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙾𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜 & 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜💚💜💙❤️

💜🏳️‍⚧️ - whats this country and why are all the hot guys from there?💜

tags/warnings: m4ftm, depictions of gender dysphoria/body dysmorphia, slight angst + fluff, kinda fluffy sex??? transmasc y/n, dominant matt, matt comforts y/n with their dysphoria, genitalia unspecified, shower sex, finally some safe sex, not proofread yet, requested by Sunnyfait

plot summary: (y/n)'s ginger boyfriend reassures him when the gender dysphoria is too much

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You looked in the mirror and frowned. You ran your fingers through your hair, distressed. You sighed heavily as you poked and prodded at what you saw in the mirror. You were unhappy.

Soon enough, your boyfriend Matt came out of the shower, a purple robe draped over his body as he ruffled his ginger locks with a towel.

"Okay, I'm done (n/n)," Matt said sweetly. "The shower's free, whenever you're ready."

You smiled at him half-heartedly before turning back to the mirror. Confused, he came up behind you and snaked his hands around your waist. "(n/n)? Is something wrong, love?"

You cringed at the placement of his hands, instinctively bringing your own up to move his. Your movements stalled as you reminded yourself to relax. The ginger behind you nuzzled his face in the nape of your neck, gently placing a peck. You felt butterflies in your stomach. "No, Matt," you said hesitantly, shaking your head. "I'm fine, dear. Thank you."

Matt pouted, unsure. His hands drifted down your sides and he began soothingly rubbing circles into your hips with his thumbs. The worst place, you thought.

"What's wrong, love?" Matt questioned, kissing your neck between words. He wasn't the smartest, but he wasn't too naive either. He could tell there was an issue. "Tell me. I'm here, (y/n)."

Your eyes got glossy from his comforting actions. You couldn't help but spill everything to him. "I— I don't know," you said quietly. "It's just— like— I don't..."

The tears in your eyes began falling, and your facade didn't take long to fall apart. Your face burned with shame and sadness, and Matt immediately turned you around to pull you closer.

"Shhh," he whispered soothingly. "Don't— don't say anything. It's okay love, just calm down and you can talk after, 'kay?"

You sobbed into his chest as he stroked your hair, shushing you and giving you small pecks on the forehead. He smelled strongly of his shampoo— fresh lilac and mint, with a touch of lavender. As your embrace continued, you began calming down. "Now, beauty," Matt said, as he pulled away to look you in the eyes. "Tell me what's wrong."

You looked away from him hesitantly before you took a deep breath. You allowed yourself to spill what you've been feeling recently. "It's just... I don't like me," you began. You made sure to speak slowly so you wouldn't cry again. "I don't... like what I see in the mirror. I just— I wish I was normal—"

"Love, you are normal!" Matt exclaimed. "Who told you that you're not? I'll deal with them, just tell me!"

You shook your head and tried to push him away, but his embrace was too strong. "Nobody did," you replied. "I wish I was like you and the guys... born a guy. I'm not happy with myself!" You got quiet. "And I haven't been for a long time."

You choked up as soon as the words left your mouth and tears began collecting in your eyes once again. Matt's eyes softened, his demeanor returning to being gentle. He pulled you close again and allowed you to cry in his chest again. The room was silent, your sniffles and sobbing being the only sound either of you could hear.