I'm begging you to

Chapter 5 - What did you just say?

"What did you just say?
Frida? What? Do you mean Frida Lyngstad?”

Agnetha looked at her in horror. Not able to say a word. Margareta sat up.

“Agnetha? What’s this about?”

“No... I... Uhm... Of course not. What makes you think that I meant her?”

“You just literally cried out her name.”

Agnetha grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her towards her.

“No please forget it. Let’s continue. That was nothing. Nobody.”

The woman in front of her released Agnetha’s hands from her shoulders and pushed her away gently.

“Why did you say that?” The brunette repeated.

Agnetha sighed in annoyance.

“It was just a stupid mistake. I misspoke. Jeez!”

“Misspoke? Why are YOU so angry now?”

The sight of the blonde woman now sitting on her bed with her arms folded like a defiant child was almost comical.

“I knew it.” It came out of Margareta.

“What?"

“You’re different from me.” And after a moment of silence she added, “I know why you’re doing this.”

“You don’t know anything.” These words came out of Agnetha louder and angrier than she wanted them to.

“Oh yes I do. I am not stupid. When I fuck my husband I don’t think about my friends or you or anyone else.”

“Wait, you actually enjoy it? I thought we were all just pretending.”

“Omg. Agnetha. What’s wrong with you? You really don’t get it do you?”

“Then why are you doing this?” She looked at Margareta with a furrowed brow, waiting for an explanation.

“Why not? It’s fun. Why are you doing it?”

This question hit Agnetha like a blow. Suddenly a thousand thoughts ran through her head. She didn’t know if she was really able to answer this question. If she wanted to answer it. What was this woman even thinking? This woman who didn’t know her at all. She didn’t know anything. This woman she had basically just met. How dare she make such a judgement about her? To act as if she knew something. Why did she have to mention it? How did this even happen? Why did she have to say Frida’s name? Hadn’t she already been punished enough?

After a while Margareta continued. “Now I know why you chose me. Like the first time we met you asked what shampoo I used and that it reminded you of someone. When you complimented me on my red nail polish. It reminded you of her didn’t it? And don’t lie to me.”

Agnetha flinched as if she had just been punched in the face.

“And not only that. When I showed you around my flat and you asked me if I sewed when you saw my sewing basket. She was sewing, wasn’t she? This has always been about her. Every second. Every touch. It wasn’t about me or the fun.”

She now ran her left hand over the side of her neck and continued: “Tell me, when I touched you on the neck and you wanted me to show you how to take proper measurements. I first thought it was some weird fetish of yours. But no. “

She paused and stared into Agnetha’s eyes.

“Did she do that too? Is that why you wanted it?”

Now you could have heard a pin drop.

“Did she fuck you like I did?”

Suddenly Agnetha felt the anger boiling up inside her. How dare she talk like that? To talk about Frida like that.

“Shut up.” The blonde hissed at her.

But Margareta remained calm. Much too calm. She just stood there staring at her with an almost spiteful look as if she had just figured it all out. And all because of this one stupid mistake. This one mistake that ruined everything.

“You love her, don’t you?”

That was enough. Agnetha jumped up grabbed the tall woman by the wrists and pushed her against the cupboard with a force.

“SHUT UP!”

Margareta looked at her in horror. Breathing heavily, Agnetha suddenly realised what she had just done and immediately let go of her.

“I... I’m sorry.”

She packed her things, slipped on her trousers as she walked, threw on her shirt and ran out of the room. Away from Margareta. Away from the situation. Away from everything.