white tulips

One

I was sitting on her hospital bed holding her left hand while she was asleep. Her hand was extremely cold. A month ago my sister was diagnosed with stage four leukemia. When the doctors told us about her diagnosis I wanted to break down.

But I couldn't. I was so shocked that I couldn't move. I stopped eating for days until my parents began to worry. I didn't want them to worry about me when Aaliyah is the one losing her life. My parents told me the doctors said that she had only a year left. I didn't want to lose her. She's just fourteen, she won't be able to grow up and live a normal life and I won't be able to watch her grow up and live a normal life.

I caught myself crying. "Khadi, what's wrong?", Aaliyah woke up. I wiped away my tears and looked at her. "Oh nothing", I lied, "There was just something in my eyes. Don't worry." She was looking at me in disbelief, "I know that you're lying. Wait, what time is it? Is it already time for Asr?". I nod, "I'll get your prayer mat, go make wudhu and sit on your bed while you pray. We can't risk you standing for too long. Okay?" "Fine but stop being so overprotective, please."

I laugh knowing that she'll always be my annoying little sister no matter how sick she is. I'll hand her something to cover up and her prayer mat and say: "I'll go grab something at the snack vending machine, do you want something?" "Why are you asking, you know I always crave a snicker." She laughed. "You're right. Now you pray and I'll be right back."

I walked down the hall trying to get to the vending machine. As I arrived I saw someone standing there getting the last snicker. Shit. Liyah will kill me if I don't get her a snicker.

"Oh um excuse me, can you give me this snicker?" After I spit out those words I realized how ridiculous that must have sounded. But then it was too late.

He already turned around and faced me. Beside his ear there was this tattoo. I think it was some chinese saying. His eyes were dark brown and he had straight black hair. I felt so much embarrassment at this moment and wanted to sink into the floor. There was so much silence until he opened his mouth "And why would I do that? I already paid for it." "It's an emergency and I'll die if I don't get it. Please, I'll give you the dollar." I practically begged. His gaze went up and down as he had this smirk on his face. "Well that's too bad", he said while he took a bite from it and went away.

That motherfucker.

I had to find another machine otherwise Aaliyah would torture me with the silent treatment for the rest of her life. I ran to the other side of the hospital to find another machine. Thank god the other vending machine was full with snickers. So I got my sister two snickers and for myself a bag of chips.

"What took you so long?", she looked at me while holding her hands out for her chocolate. "Long story.", I answered and handed her her snickers and sat next to her. We were talking for another hour and laughed so much. Then the nurse came in and smiled at me, "Hello Khadijah, nice seeing you again but unfortunately visiting time is over." I stood up and kissed my sister on the forehead. "Are you coming tomorrow?" she asked. "I'll try my best to be here. Love you, bye." "Love you too.", she said and then I got on my way home.

When I got home I went into my brother's room. He was on his computer, playing GTA with his friends. "Ever heard of knocking?", he questioned. I said nothing, got on his bed and laid down. Even though we were twins, we were nothing alike. This boy is seventeen but sometimes he acts like a ten year old child. And he is dumb as shit. He's not bad in school, like me he's slightly above the average. That's like the only thing we have in common. But he forgets things so easily that I wonder where his mind went.

My older brother is in college right now. Princeton to be exact. Because of his good grades our parents always expected us to be as good as him. When one of us brought a B home they always said: "Why can't you be more like Abdul? Look at his good grades. Do you think you can go to an Ivy if you continue like this?"
To be honest Hamza and I don't care that much about which college we're going to. If we get into an Ivy that's cool but it's not our dream to go to Princeton like Abdul does. But it was kind of Aaliyah's dream. She was amazed when she saw her older brother go to an Ivy and she saw him as her role model.