You Know Me Through The Years

The Oak Trees

There was no doubt in Kyrie's mind that she was making the right decision. Going to Capulet on her own was something she and Nero discussed for a while. He thought she needed some time to herself, and Roe had offered to fly her over. It was agreed that she was going to stay in Capulet for as long as she needed.

The moment she stepped into the terminal at the airport, she saw Roe standing there with Dante and their two daughters waiting for her. They had all welcomed her with open arms, which almost made her tear up. This was her first time going anywhere without Nero, even though he had gone places without her several times. It felt different. She had no responsibility to anyone but herself, and that in itself felt strange.

The first night in the Sparda household was a little awkward for her. She had been there before, but not on her own. It was always her and Nero sharing the guest room when they stayed over. She did not like feeling idol or like she was taking up space, even though Roe had told her this was not the case. She was family.

It was the morning after she arrived that she found herself in the kitchen alone with Vergil. He did not pay her any mind as he sat reading at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee and toast. She felt like she was disturbing his peace, so she made her tea and went outside on the back deck to be by herself. It was nice hearing the birds chirping and the smell of morning dew on the grass. She was reminded of simpler times when she was a child.

However, those thoughts led to the feelings she had been bottling up for the past few weeks. She let herself feel those emotions on occasion, but right now she did not know if she could contain the swell of guilt that threatened to burst out of her. Instead, she put her tea down and decided to go for a walk in the big back yard.

How does one recover from loss? She had done it before with her parents and with Credo, but this was something entirely different. What she felt was like she had lost part of herself. Her soul was missing a tiny piece that could never be replaced. Losing her child was the worst thing that could possibly happen to her. Nero tried to make sense of it, but he failed to understand just how much it devastated her. That was not his fault, it was just the way things were. The only one who could possibly understand was someone who had been in her shoes before. Even then, each woman had their unique experience with that sort of loss, and their story was theirs to tell if they wanted.

She really was not ready to talk about it just yet.

Kyrie found herself sitting under one of the very old live oak trees that lined the creek flowing on the edge of the property. As soon as she sat down, she felt a breeze flow over her and the smell of Spanish moss on it. There was a sense of peace that seemed to wash over her until she heard the sound of footsteps approaching.

She was surprised to see Vergil standing not to far away from her with his hand in his pocket as he looked around.

"It's nice out here." She said trying to put on a smile. He saw past her facade with keen eyes and let out a hint that he was possibly concerned about her.

"Hmm." That seemed to be his way of agreeing with her, but she did not know her fiancés father all that well. First impressions of him were lackluster at the diner months ago when he stayed polite, but also not speaking very much. "I come out here at night sometimes."

"I bet it's much better at night." She looked over to the creek where the sun was reflecting off the water. "Especially on a full moon."

"It is more beautiful then." He told her before leaning up against another tree. "There were a lot of things I regretted when I was in the Underworld. One of them was not appreciating the beauty this world had to offer."

"That is definitely something to regret." Kyrie did not turn her gaze away from the creek. She knew he was trying to make a connection with her, which was something she had not expected from him of all people. "I suppose you don't see many sunsets or moonrises in the Underworld."

"No, not really." There was a slight chuckle to his words. This surprises her a little. "It's nothing but an endless expanse there. There is nothing beautiful and everything there is always trying to destroy each other." Definitely not a place she wanted to visit.

"That almost sounds like this world too." She looked at Vergil with honest eyes. He had crossed his arms over his chest and had his shoulder up against the old oak tree. "Everyone is always trying to be better than everyone else to the point where they have become selfish." Her opinion of people had changed very little in the time that she had left Fortuna. She still believed in kindness, but she had seen less and less of it these days.

"Humans are not much different from demons." Vergil stated. "Their base instinct is always self preservation and the want for power. I am guilty of such things myself, but I have recently found out that family is more important." He was being completely honest with her and she adored him for it.  "Demons don't care for their own family, but I suppose that is what makes my brother and I unique. I should've learned this a long time ago, but I admit I am a slow learner."

"Some lessons are hard to learn." She smiled softly then frowned when she understood what he was saying. "Sometimes life doesn't go the way we want." Kyrie looked down at her hands and saw the glint from the solitaire diamond she had on her left hand. "And sometimes, those lessons come with a cost." She was not going to cry in front of Vergil.

"Indeed." She closed her eyes as he came closer to her and sat down a feet feet away from her against the same tree. "Do you blame yourself?" He asked her and she understood his question.

"Part of me does." She leaned her head back against the tree. "And the other part is so angry that this happened." She placed a hand on her stomach where her child should be.

"You cannot blame yourself for something out of your control." Vergil told her as if he was speaking from experience. "That is where you lose the fight." She understood his meaning and nodded. "Don't lose the fight, Kyrie. You are too precious to my son." That was as much of a confession as anyone would ever get from Vergil and she was the only one who had heard it.

"I won't give up." She looked at him with tears in her eyes as he stood up. "I promise."

"I'll hold you to it." He said before leaving her alone again.

This was not the confrontation she had wanted, nor expected, but it was enough to let her know she was not going through it alone. Vergil, while not so forth coming on his words and feelings, was at least letting her know he cared. There was part of her that also believed he was telling her these things because he needed closure on his own feelings. That was fine if it meant he was progressing towards change.

The guilt she had was still there, but it was a little less by the end of the day. At diner that night, she sat across from Vergil who acknowledged her with a nod. She returned that nod with a small smile in silent thanks as the bowl of pasta was passed around the table.

The long road to recovery was a little shorter now thanks to Vergil.