His Always: Book 1 Rhodes Character Series

Chapter 11: Natalie

I hear the beep of my blood pressure before I open my eyes. The sterile smell of a hospital raises my heart rate before I can even process where I am. This must alert someone in my room. A hand squeezes mine tighter. "Nat. It's me." I don't open my eyes yet. Even though it's just Tate, I need an internal moment to gather myself. I feel out of it. I try to do a head-to-toe assessment. My head aches even though I haven't even moved it yet. The fuzzy feeling in my head won't go away no matter how hard I focus. A voice that sounds far away speaks again. "Nat, can you open your eyes? It's Tate. You're safe." I squeeze my eyes close harder. I don't want to wake up yet. The memories of what happened with Thomas coming flooding back. I feel a tear drop down my cheek. My heart rate is getting harder for me to control. "Natalie. You're having a nightmare. You are safe. It's Tate. Nothing is going to happen to you..shit...Natalie...Can I get some help in here?" I hear the panic in his voice. "Natalie, hold on. Let me see if Thomas is here." My eyes fly open before I can stop them. I can only squeak out, "no," before it feels like my throat is closing. Fuck why can't I breathe? Is it Thomas? Is he choking me again? I can't breathe. "Tate," I cough.

"Natalie, you're panicking. You are safe. Take big deep, belly breath for me." I can't. I make eye contact with him as my breathing gets shallower. "I'm going to give you something in your IV. Try to close your eyes." I don't hear what he says next before my eyes droop close and I slip back into the darkness.

—

I awake again but this time but don't hear the rapid beeps of my heart rate. I don't open my eyes but I can hear a female voice I recognize. I need that. I need her. I feel more confused than before. What happened? Did I get in some type of accident? The pain is feeling unbearable. I need something more. Woah - has my stomach always felt like this? I need help. My eyes fly open. I see the startled looks of Madison and Tate. They both rush to my bed. I don't speak but I don't take my eyes off of them. Madison speaks first.

"Oh, honey. It is so good to see your eyes. You scared the fuck out of me." I can tell she has been crying. I don't know what they want me to say. What do I say? I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Can I talk? Talk Natalie - jeez don't be so dramatic.

"My stomach," I breathe out. Tate stands. "Are you in pain? I can increase your meds? Can I look at your incisions?" I jerk in response to him lifting my gown. "Don't touch me please." I cry out. "I need to talk to Madison alone. Can you get me more meds?" I hear the crack in his voice. "Baby, I would never hurt you. I just wanted to make sure your incision was looking okay before I gave you another dose. You don't need to be in pain. I can help." I don't have time to cradle his thought process.

"Madison?" I look up at her, pleading for her to help me. "Tate, why don't you just give us a little space? Okay? Can you get Pen up here? She can look over Madison's injuries." I can't look up at Tate. I can feel the hurt I caused. I have always been able to feel how Tate is feeling. He is my sixth sense. I close my eyes and try to focus on my breath. I need something for this pain. "Madison - can you get someone to give me something for the pain." Tate turns around. "Mad's I can handle this." He states to her. He looks back at me,"just let me examine you, baby." I don't open my mouth.

"Tate go find me Pen now. Or get me Eric or James." Madison says, with more sass this time. This makes me find my voice. "I only want Pen. Madison and Pen only." Madison turns on her heels and begins to gently shove Tate out. "Tate, go find Penelope. I don't have time for you. She's in pain. Help her by getting Pen, okay? That's how you can help." I don't hear his reply. But I hear the large door snap close. Madison walks back over to me. I turn my head away. Not sure what I want to say now that it's just us to. "Nat - what do you need? We will get you some meds - what else can I do? Do you want to talk about it?" I swallow. I don't know my game plan here. I can't think clearly.

"I'm going to tell you something. I don't want you to utter a word to anyone. You promise me? You and the police. That's it. Do not break my trust on this." I try to be as serious as I can, but my head is throbbing. "Natalie, I would never. Whatever you have to say will stay with me. What happened?" She sits on the edge of the bed. When I look up at her, I realize she isn't going to be able to comprehend what I am about to tell her. I open my mouth to speak but the door opens. "Natalie, you're awake. Thank God." It's James. I don't say anything. He's rubbing the hospital hand-sanitizer into his palms as he grabs my chart. He looks tired, exhausted actually. A little forward of him thinking that I would want him reading my chart. "Madison - can you give us some space. I need to discuss some things with Natalie." My heart rate picks up. Why would James need to talk to me about anything? Does he know? How does he know about Thomas? Did they see my apartment? Who all knows? I snap out of my trance when Madison shakes my shoulder. "Natalie, breathe, you're going to have another panic attack." James looks ready to administer something into my IV. I look at him. "I'm okay. I need something for the pain. My head and stomach. I can barely handle it anymore. And I feel like I might puke." I didn't notice the intense vomit feeling until now.

"Let me get you some meds and then we can chat. The sickness is probably from the anesthetic and the hormones." What? Anesthetic? I had surgery? "Wait - I had surgery? What the hell happened?" I can instantly feel the narcotics hit my veins. Whew that feels better. Wait - what happened again? I had surgery? Focus Natalie. "When did I have surgery? And for what? I don't remember much." James has his back towards me as he is gathering items from one of the nurses' carts. "Madison, will you give us a second while I check out Nat. I want to make sure all of her incisions are looking okay?" I don't process what he says. "Madison stays." I state firmly. Madison reaches for my hand and gives it a tight squeeze. James turns around.

"Okay - I know you are a patient. But I want to speak to you as both a patient and a doctor. Is that okay?" I respect James. Don't treat me like a battered child. I try to sit up, but the pain in my stomach makes me see white. "Ahhh." I yelp. Both Madison and James stand over me. "Easy, your body has been through a lot in the last couple of hours. You need to try a lay down and relax as much as possible." James urges as he pushes something else in my IV.

"Let's talk about your abdomen first. Eric and Tate brought you into the ER unconscious with two stab wounds to your stomach. It was glass. The one on your hip wasn't that deep. But the one closer to your belly-button was deep. It required Eric to do emergency surgery." Okay - that makes sense. And explains why my stomach feels like its been ripped apart. Because it literally has. But what isn't clicking is why James is so involved. He's an OB. "I came in when you had some unexplained vaginal bleeding." I hear and feel my heart rate spike again. "Deep breath Nat, I need to keep your BP down for your concussion." James sits down and grabs my hand. I take the deepest breath I can without feeling the pull of my stomach. He looks ill. Did something happen to him too?

"Nat, you were pregnant when you came in. I'm sorry to have to tell you that it was an ectopic pregnancy, though. Your baby was developing outside your uterus." I grab my hand back. "I know what an ectopic pregnancy is James. You don't have to explain it to me. I am a doctor." He re grabs my hand softly. "You are right, I apologize. I performed a D&C to finish the miscarriage you were having when you came in while Eric was fixing your stab wounds." He says the words coldly, like he has done this a million times before.

A tear slips down my face. I was going to be a mom. I was going to be a mom until my boyfriend stabbed me.

I close my eyes and try to gather my emotions. Think about what your therapy has taught you. You can handle anything. As I am trying to understand what this means, the door flies open. It's Pen. Seeing her breaks my dam. A sob rips through my throat before I have time to catch it. "Honey..." Penelope practically runs to me. I don't know what to say to her. My crying is intensifying the pain in my head. Why does my head hurt so bad? "My head..I need something for it." Penelope looks up at James who has my chart in his hand.

"Okay - let me check your chart again and see what I can give you here." I try to take a deep breath but I can't feel anything but the throb over my entire body. "Why don't you lay back and try and close your eyes. I can dim these lights down." I can't stop the crying. Why can't I stop crying? It's just making things worse. I close my eyes. I hear the door open again but I can't even look up to see who it was. Suddenly, I feel so tired - like I need to sleep for days. Whoever it is doesn't speak. The last thing I hear is James standing next to me stating, "this should help you sweetness."