Champagne Problems

ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ ꜰᴏᴜʀ- ʟᴏᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ

I woke up in a cozy bed. I had to blink a few times till I realised my surroundings and knew that I was in Max's bedroom.

He must've carried me here after I fell asleep.

I turned around in his arms to see him still  asleep so peacefully.

How can tell him?

How can I tell him that I've betrayed him in the worst imaginable way?

I got out of his arms and went into the bathroom.

The hickey from Charles wasn't covered as good as before, but it was still fine. I searched around in my beauty bag and just touched it up with a little bit of concealer.

I feel so bad. The guilt is eating me alive.  I have to tell him, and I will. I'll try to tell him as soon as he wakes up. I try to do it as softly as possible. That means making breakfast and tell him in the best way possible, if there even is a best way possible.
It sounds very twisted and very poor thing to do, but I just don't know what to do. It's so fucked up to the point where I just would rather run away than be confronted or confront someone with the truth.

I started preparing pancakes. They were done easy and fast. As I was almost finished I heard the bedroom door open. My heart started to beat faster as I know I have to tell him soon. He walked into the kitchen and neared me. As he was close enough he wrapped his arms around my waist and snuggled his head into my neck. 

He's making it so hard for me.

„Good morning, I was wondering where you were, but luckily I found you" he mumbled.

„You thought I disappeared?" I asked.

„Yeah, just like that. It made puff and you were gone, like a magician" he laughed

„You're so funny" I sarcastically said

„I know, Am" he told me jokingly

„So know that you're here and I'm almost done, you can help me" I said clapping my hands

„Oh I think I'll go back to bed. I'm actually still very tired" he said, faking a yawn

„Yeah, whatever. You just need to put the plates on the table, please. It's nothing too much" I told him

„Well, I could do that" he said and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I don't care how many time I've said it and will say it, but he is still making it so hard.

We ate breakfast and after that we sat down on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me again and I leaned into his side. There was silence between us, but not awkward silence.

„I have to tell you something" we both said in the same time.

„You go first" I told him

„I just wanted to tell you how beautiful the last three months were with you. It's been the best time I've had" he told me.

I swallowed hard.

Way to ruin what I had to tell him.

„So what did you wanted to say?" he asked me.

„Oh I wanted to say kind of the same" I just said.

Well I wanted to tell you the exact opposite. I cheated on you, Max. But don't worry, it's only with my first love and the father of my son. Charles. So if you would forgive me, I would be very happy.

Obviously I couldn't tell him that. I mean, I doubt now that he would forgive me.

and again: How am I supposed to tell him?