19th January 2015
Dear Diary,
Harry kissed a boy. A boy. A male. A person with the same sex. Someone with a penis.
I'm sad. So, so, sad. He's gay, bi, pansexual, or whatever. And I never saw it, I never... I can't even explain how I feel. They're not dating, they just kissed, but what if they go on dates? What if they date, what if Harry falls in love with a boy that isn't me? At first I felt, well, kinda happy because it means he's interested in the same gender. But what if he is, but doesn't like me at all? I can't stay his dude-bro-pal-lad-mate forever! I need him, beside me, right now. I need his lips on mine, I need him to say he loves me...
What if it never happens? I would never get over it. Ever.
I'm shaking and my writing is shaky and I just... I feel so freaking bad, I can't even. I just. I don't want to say I need him to be mine because he's a human being, not an object and I hate those kinds of relationships where the dominant says "you're mine" like the fuck boy no. Sorry this isn't the subject... But I'm too sad and lost and I want to sleep and forget about him. I'm so in love with him but he... He doesn't even like me.
Keep my secrets safe.
Louis. x
YOU ARE READING
louis' diary // larry stylinson au
Fanfic❝Imagine if I, the little shy son, was gay. He'd shoot me, while looking at me in the eyes, with a sick smile on his face. I know it.❞ Louis is in love with his best friend Harry, so he writes about him in his secret diary. all rights reserved © 201...
