Lost and Found

I bet you'll regret it

Whenever I go for a walk, I find myself not looking ahead of me. My eyes are either glued to the concrete, looking to the left or the right, up at the sky, or even closed behind my sunglasses when I'm feeling like a daredevil.

It's 5:00 in the morning and I'm surprisingly not sleeping.
I decided not to bring my cellphone with me; I didn't want to chance getting bothered by anyone...especially Erika. I checked my watch, it was now 5:30 A.M; I don't even want to go home yet. However, I knew I should since the ride to the studio was a long one.

Before turning back around, I made my way into a drugstore. I walked for a bit, and crossed the street, opening the glass door leading into the drugstore. I didn't know why, but I was really thirsty.
I noticed that the drinks were in the back of aisle six. Once I got my drink, I walked to the register and since there weren't any other customers, I didn't have to wait.
"How much is it?" I asked the lady behind the counter.
"O-oh. I-it's ¥150". She answered shyly.
I gave her a confused look, and paid for my drink.
She gave me a bag and I told her she could keep it since I was going to drink it while I was walking back home.
Just as I was about to walk out of the door, the girl called out to me.

"G-good luck with your music!" I didn't look back at her, and made my way out of the store.
"At least she wasn't a crazed fan girl". I mumbled to myself. "But, why did she have to say that?"
Why did she have to tell me good luck?
That was one of the last things Mizuki said to me. Before I could stop myself, I felt my heart sink.
"Mizuki". I grabbed onto my drink. Clutching it tightly between my fingers.
I didn't feel thirsty anymore.

I didn't feel like walking.

I didn't feel anything.

I just want her back. But I have to face reality. That's never going to happen. Even though I tell myself that I hate her, I don't. I love her. Even though I tell myself that I will never think of her again. I have been thinking about her for twelve straight years. Does she still think of me? Does she still remember me? If she does...does she want me back as bad as I do?

Does she despise me as much as I despise her?
Does she love me as much as I love her?

"I'm pathetic". I mumbled to myself.
I quickly picked up my pace and started walking back home. Before I knew it I was about two blocks away. I checked my watch, 6:40 A.M.

My house finally came into view, and I walked towards my door. There were more people walking, jogging, and doing the usual morning thing now since it wasn't that early. "Finally, I'm here". I said into nothingness.

I quickly got undressed remembering that I had practice today. I walked into my room, and turned on the shower, and I waited until it was relatively hot. In the mean time I brushed my teeth waiting for the water to get to the appropriate temperature. When I was done I stepped into the shower. The hot water felt so nice against my skin. I quickly shampooed, and conditioned my hair and scrubbed my skin. About twenty minutes later I was done. I grabbed my towel from the rack, and wrapped it around my waist.
I quickly made something to eat before hitting the road. Once I finished my food, I grabbed my Jacket and Keys when I felt my cellphone buzzing.
"Hello?" I questioned, not bothering to look at the caller ID.
"Hey Sweetie. How are you?"
Damn...Erika.
"Umm...I'm busy. Sorry, but, I have to go". I quickly shut my phone, not wanting to hear what she had to say.

I hopped into my car, and made my way to the studio. There was a little traffic, so I ended up getting to the studio at 10:20 A.M. Oh, well...I'm rarely late, so it doesn't really matter to me.
"Morning". I greeted to Shinya who was air drumming as usual.
"Hey". He smiled. "What's up?"
"Nothing Much. You?"
"I'm good". He answered, taking a sip of water.
"You're late". I was cut off from what I was about to say by Kaoru.
"I've never been late before, so I don't really care". I answered a little annoyed at him.
"Relax Kyo, I'm just messing around". He started, "Besides, I have something to tell you."
I didn't think it was something bad since Kaoru was smiling like crazy. "Everyone else already knows, right?" I asked. Shinya nodded, slightly smiling.

"Well, what is it?" I asked, wondering what ever could make Kaoru grin like that.

"I've officially met the girl of my dreams". He sighed content.

"Her name is Mineko. And guess what"?
I just stared at him. "She is going to be our photographer for our upcoming tour".
"And, tomorrow we're all meeting her". Shinya interjected.
Kaoru nodded. I paused for a minute before replying, my eyes scanning the room.
"That's why you're so happy?" I asked.
Kaoru looked at me like I had ten heads. "Of course!"

"Does she even like you?"
Kaoru's eyes looked to the side, he began to speak, a slight tone of nervousness in his voice. "Well, we did just recently meet...but I know I like her".
I shook my head.

"I can't wait for you guys to meet her". He said, still smiling.

Yeah...me, too. I thought sarcastically.
Before I could get myself more upset, I walked over to an empty chair and sat down, taking my notebook out from my bag and reading over some new lyrics I was working on.

"Tch...I really can't wait to see how this turns out Kaoru". I mumbled, doodling on the edge of the paper.

I really can't wait to see Kaoru's heart get broken by another female...It always happens.