Second Place

08/02/2015

8th February 2015

If you know me at all, you'll probably won't see this one coming. I'm just Tessa Scott. Just me. Apparently I'm not supposed to feel bad. I'm the joker in my group, the lovable fool.

It's like if I stop joking and laughing everything will go to hell and all that I've tried to build up over these last couple years will burn like magnesium in the science lab.

To be honest it's kinda of exhausting. but it could be worse I guess. Much worse. I know people who don't see how incredible they are. That's difficult.

Do you ever feel useless?

Like I said, I'm the joker in my group. I don't know how to help anybody. The best I can do is awkward pat on the head.

I've got to change this. I've got to help them, that way I can help myself.

It's a new year. A new change. I can do this, I know I can.

I shouldn't be complaining. I shouldn't. I have everything. It's stupid. But that's what I do best.

Uselessness is my forte.

It wouldn't be so bad, if I wasn't friends with some of the smartest, funniest and generally best people in the year. When I'm in a conversation with any of my friends I don't know what I'm meant to say, what I'm meant to do. I don't really have any funny or cool anecdotes so I've found myself making them up at points.

I never do anything interesting ever. What if my friends...I don't know, climbed a mountain or something?

I'll just have to accept my inept social skills and focus on something else. What that something else would be, however, I have no idea.

I'm not particularly smart, and I'm probably about as sporty as a boiled egg, so that's out of the question.

I could do something like Zoe, in the year above and try to get a scholarship or something, but like I said I'm lacking servery in the brain department so that's, again, a no-no.

It's like I can't do anything. No, that's a lie. I can do some things. In fact, I'm alright at most things, just not good at anything.

I'm the first child in my family and my brother is perfect.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate hi or anything and as far as love from our parents goes, we're pretty much equal.

But is it really fair, that he got the insanely blue eyes, dark curling eyelashes and fair hair? And on top of that, he's sporty, popular, artistic and basically everything I'm not.

Even at school, I just happened to be best friends with the two of the smartest girls in the year. Sometimes they'll be talking about Side-Angle-Side or Pi or something and I'll be like

"What the hell does that mean?"

And it's not like I'm friends with the supremely popular people either. In my experience, popular girls are either so fake they might as well model for Photoshop or that their just plain bitchy.

So I'm friends with my fellow social outcasts, and in actual fact we argue about twice a year, at most, whilst The Cackle Girls (long story behind that. Basically me and my friends had this bench, which we loved and the popular girls would do this weird circuit whilst cackling over and over again. Ever since that day they've been known as The Cackle Girls.) appear to argue at least once a week with a big argument at the end of the month.

Don't get me wrong, being popular does not make you a Cackle Girl. You have to be a backstabber, a bitch and most importantly you have to have your skirts rolled up so high, it looks like a shirt. By coincidence that just happens to be the majority of the popular people.

Apparently the people in my year, place shortness of skirt and crap taste in music over actual coolness. My school is fricking weird.