Second Place

10/06/2015

So, that was what happened.

Imagine my slight surprise as I'm digging through my random crap, cat box when I found that slightly depressing extract.

And yes my random crap box has a cat on it.

I haven't really changed that much. I'm still friends with Hope and Kristen (the smart girls) and I still worry all to much.

So to proof I'm not a sad, loner with no known life, I'm going to record everything that happens.

Starting today.

So to the soundtrack of Fall Out Boy, Krewella and Pegboard Nerds, here is what happened today.

I woke up late so I nearly missed the bus as per usual. I tried to look and sound interesting in a conversation that I was absolutely not interested in.

It's not that I don't like him or anything, but I have the overwhelming feeling that when I was in year seven he had a huge crush on me, making it incredibly awkward to talk to him now.

That made me sound horrible didn't it? Jeez, Tessa, you can be so bitchy.

It was impossible not to laugh during assembly as there's this teacher who is probably the female version of Homer Simpson, but Irish was taking the assembly. Throughout the entire assembly she was shaking and even if she walked near you, you could smell the vodka.

I'm not saying all Irish are drunk maths teachers! Please don't kill me.

In the assembly it also said something about Satan ruling the human world and that it will rot the world and eat us all. Or something.

We also have this teacher who, no matter the occasion, will have something to say. Seriously, we could be talking about the difficulty of breeding dragons and she will have something to say.

The thing is, it's always the same thing. Every time. It's like she's had the thought impaled into her head by a particularly violent rhino.

Now all I can think of is a rhino with the words 'Get Involved!' written on it's horn, charging at my teacher.

When do you think it's acceptable to forgive? Say, if someone did something cruel and unfair and you stopped talking, but whenever you saw them they were looking generally depressed, what would you do? Would you remember what they did and be filled with anger again, or would you forgive them?

I'm genuinely asking , and please don't give the cliche response of "Well, it depends on what they did." because that really doesn't help.

Seriously though, what would you do? Because I have no idea.

Because it's not me who fell out with them. Sure, I'm angry as hell at them, but should that person be allowed to suffer? It's just... Confusing. Do I convince my friend to forgive them, or will she bite my head off for trying to convince them to forgive someone they obviously don't want to.

ARGH!!! Sorry, but my frustration at people and the world in general has reached boiling-no, magma-point. It pisses me off when amazing, incredible people decide that their worthless for no apparent reason and just start cutting.

I know people who cut, and it just frustrates me that they won't tell me what's wrong.

Am I seriously that untrustworthy? Of course, if you are feeling that depressed, you must have reason, but honestly from experience telling people you're depressed and why your depressed works a charm. I know it feels like it's you against the world, but it doesn't have to be.

Cutting will not help you. Nope, sorry guys, I know this is a massive shocker, but no it won't.

Not a bit, not even a little.

Do you have ANY idea,how worthless you make your friends, your family, the people who love you, the people who are supposed to help, when you won't let them help you. It absolutely destroys the people who love you. It makes them feel like no one can do anything and actually puts them into depression themselves. Do you want anyone to feel the same way you do? Anyway, see you tomorrow guys.

NOTE- This is a work of fiction. Whilst Tessa and some of her experiences are based on me this is not real. I'm fine! Honest!