Never Thought

Chap 22

Calliopi

"..... He's a syndicate and is the boss on his organization. My current dad and my mom are happily married and is happily gave birth to their first child which is dricko. But then something happen that makes the family in chaos. Mom was kidnapped by his ex which is my biological father who still obsessed with her. And then it happen na ni raped nya si mom at nagbunga ako. Sa loob ng 6 years, naghirap kami ni mom sa kamay ng biological father ko. Hindi nya kami hinahayang makalabas ni mom sa isla at sa tuwing nagtatangka kami, puro bugbog at pasa ang natatanggap namin. Hindi lang yun, sa tuwing nagsasawa si dad kay mom, nagdadala sya ng mga babae sa isla. I felt pity for my mom before.. I witness how my dad being so careless together with his chicks while my mom is silently crying in her room. I witness how my dad hurt my mom infront of me when she does a little mistakes. I witness every torture that she did to my mom!" Naipahid nya ang mga luhang nagsimula na namang pumatak sa pisngi nya bago sya nagpatuloy. "While I, on the other hand, didn't even got the chance to meet new people and befriend and play with them. All I experience was, being lock in my room and play alone. At kapag may hindi nagustuhan si dad sa mga ginagawa ko sa bahay o di kaya namay lasing sya, sinasaktan nya rin ako. He completely ruined my childhood memories. And he completely ruined mom's life. Kahit hindi aminin ni mom ngayon, alam kong may trauma parin sya sa nakaraan nya.. at pati narin ako... That is why... I have hatred towards him kahit patay na sya. And because of that, I'm also having a hatred towards men in general except for my current dad who accept me and my mom. He's the reason why we reached our freedom. And he's the reason why my biological dad put in jail and finally ended his life." Sa haba ng sinabi nya.. naintindihan ko na sya.

Kitang kita ko sa mga mata nya ngayon ang galit at poot pati narin ang hinagpis. Hindi ko sya masisisi if ganun sya at hindi ko rin sya maju-judge. Nakakaawa nga ang nangyari sakanila ng mom nya kaya naiintindihan ko kung bakit hanggang ngayon hindi mawala ang galit nya to the point na ini-stereotype nya yung ibang kalalakihan na katulad sa ama nya.

Hindi ko alam kung anong maipapayo ko don pero...

Kinuha ko ang panyo sa bulsa ko at ako na mismo ang napunas ng luha nya.

"I think you need to let go..." sabi ko matapos kong mapunasan ang luha nya at nakipagtitigan sa kanya. "Your past." Pagpapatuloy ko.

"I completely understand you. That is why all I could say... is to let go. Wag kang makulong sa past mo.. nandito ka na sa present. I know hindi yun madali, but that's the only thing that could help you to finally let go your hatred... in that way, you can have your peace. And for your peace... you have to also let go those people who hopes to get your attention and love. Kung ayaw mo sa kanila, sabihin mo. Kung wala silang pag-asa, sabihin mo. Kung hindi ka pa handang magtiwala, sabihin mo. Hindi mo pwedeng paasahin sila palagi, you have to be true to them, and be true to yourself." She slowly nooded and look down.

"You're right, but i don't want to let go saviel yet..."

Para namang nabiyak yung puso ko don. Awts.

Maybe nagugustuhan nya rin pabalik kaya ayaw nya muna.

"Because I still have to deal with kelly." Kumunot ang noo ko.

"I don't want to let go of him kasi gusto ko muna syang gamitin sa pinsan kong sarkastik na plastik pa." Hindi makapaniwala ko itong tiningnan.

Ba naman--

"Akala ko yung dahilan kung bakit hindi mo magawang mag seryoso ay dahil sa dad mo, akala ko din ang dahilan kung bakit nagche-cheat ka don sa saviel ay dahil takot ka lang talaga magseryoso kasi nga may trauma ka. Yun pala yan ang dahilan! Mali yan ah! Mas nakakasakit yan! Tigilan mo na sya. Nakaka immature pakinggan ang labo mo." Gumuhit naman ang inis na muka nito. Kanina iiyak iyak---