"Are you out of your mind? I could hurt you." The veins started to pumped up in fear of what i'm capable to do. Everything was a blur to me, the room becoming sketchy as the time passed by and he's here down in his knees-looking up at me. A look of...
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I don't know what's happening. Everything feel so unreal. My eardrums were ringing, ringing far that it can explodes. The heavy slap I received from father was unbearable, as if he had keep all his remaining burdens and anger in him out by laying a hand on me to make him feel at ease at least.
Now, It was all thrown to me. The hatred in me build every second, every minute, every day I get the chance to meet him. My fingers twitching—clenching it to stop from shaking. Feeling my nails digging in my palms that even I could feel it hurts.
Drowning myself in thoughts, overdosing myself, putting my whole attention to studying were the outcome of my escapism. All I want to be is free, free of this filthy world. My system is being worn out in weeks of drinking pills that the private therapist that Father had hired in order to heal me from the things I don't even have. Those unnamed medicine i've taken being in weekly therapy was tiring my systems out, it was the result of my hallucinations that I find hard to handle.
I tried, I tried, I tried.
I tried my best to be good enough in his eyes, but it wasn't enough for him. It doesn't give the satisfaction of what I expected from my father to have. My mind was too clouded from everything in general; My thoughts aren't normal, aren't straight for me. It was all messed up. Yet, the desire in me was to be in overall top, to achieve my ambition of making him proud of me.
The time Nicholas had disappear was all too much to even process, I was being treated by the Clinic Nurse yet somehow I feel uncertain. The aura. The atmosphere i'm feeling. There were eyes on me. Eyes on me. Although, with my own two eyes, I didn't see a glimpse of the Nurse's gaze at me or even in the slightest. The invisible eyes were clouded in the room.
The nurse were tapping the cotton antidote in my burning cheek to treat it.
My eyes blink–one, two, three–I was just sitting in a chair—hands down between my thighs, seated still like a kid. I could hardly remember the conversation between Nicholas and I.
I was lost the entire time. The second I heard his threatening voice that has an ability to harm everyone feels like my knees could collapse right away infront of him.
"Everyone that hurts you, I want to brutally murder them—as much as I want to carve heir skin out of their limbs in any way they've touched you." His voice rang in the back of my mind, and how his words lingers raw. "I want to give them a warning for hurting you."
Those words flashed back in my mind like a soft bullet. Every words he said were clearer for me to remember. As if it's the only thing that my brain focused on to. His eyes, his dark brown grey eyes that looked into me. It was the first—second time I have notice that it was full of sincerity, though the menace in his eyes covered it.
There was doubt creeping inside me as if my feelings doesn't want me to believe him in any possible way, as if it's warning me not to hear him out.
It's dangerous, he's dangerous. A voice appeared in my mind, echoing those words. He's dangerous, he's dangerous, he's dangerous, he is dangerous. Heaviness, I feel heaviness in my body even after that. I hardly find it normal to breathe. The sensation in me could've exploded. Nervous. I'm nervous of the result Nicholas might've done just right when he left me here in the infirmary.
