The Taste of Forgotten Love (Sweet Sin's Revenge 2) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 12: Hearts of Doubts

Nakapatay lahat ng ilaw sa bahay niya sa Cerro Roca habang nakauklo siya sa sofa, ang mga luha ay kanina pa bumabasa sa carpet.

Ni hindi niya magawang magluksa. Gusto niyang gantihan agad si Luca pero pinipigil siya ng misyon. Killing Luca now will not give him any chance to become the leader compromising his promise to Cin.

All the times he had with his uncle, the good and the bad, came back to him. Ito ang nag-alaga sa kaniya noong sapilitan siyang ipinadala ng ama sa Amerika para mag-aral. Spencer did not hesitate to quit his flourishing navy career just to take good care of him.

And for what? For him to disappoint him and now he's dead, executed by his own family he'd sacrificed his life for.

Sumandal siya sa recliner at itinago ang mukha sa braso. Rinig niya ang pagbukas ng pinto ngunit wala siyang lakas para komprontahin ang kung sinumang dumating. Kahit nang bumaha na ang liwanag ay hindi siya tuminag.

"Lang."

Nang yakapin siya ni Casindra ng buong higpit ay nabiyak na naman ang pagpipigil niya. Isinubsob niya ang mukha sa buhok nito at umiyak.

He cried and cried and whimpered in pain on her shoulders.

Hinagod nito ang kaniyang likod. "It's okay. I'm here for you. Iiyak mo lang. I heard about what happened to your uncle. I'm sorry, Lang. I really do. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you bury him. Hindi ako makaalis sa pinagtataguan namin. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he answered and inhaled her familiar scent. "You're here now. That's what matters."

Nang mapayapa nang kaunti ang kaniyang pakiramdam ay sinabi niya rito ang buong pangyayari.

"I should have killed Luca yesterday. That son of a bitch killed his own blood just to teach me a lesson. Yes, I should have killed him."

Tumayo siya at kinuha ang baril sa mesita.

"No! Langdon!" Binawi nito ang baril sa kaniya. "You look at me! Walang mangyayari kung susugod ka lang agad doon. It's useless. Mas mauuna ka pang mamamatay sa kaniya. Listen to me.  Langdon! Look at me, please."

She cupped his face to try to pacify him. "You're not this kind of man, Langdon. You don't make impulsive decisions based on your emotions. It will just be a disaster waiting to happen."

Sinalubong niya ang namumulang mata ng dating kasintahan. "You're wrong, Cas. I'm not the steady unfaltering man you think I am. Lahat ng mga naging desisyon ko sa buhay mula noon hanggang ngayon, all of that were based on my emotions. I fell in love with you. Itinanan kita. I killed Alcindra. Those were all because of my fucking emotions!"

"And now what? Nagsisisi ka ba na nahulog ka sa akin? If you could turn back time, wouldn't you want me to exist in your heart? What about me? I suffered too because I also let my emotions control my decisions."

Nahimasmasan si Langdon kaya mabilis niyang inabot si Casindra para yakapin.

"I'm sorry. I was reckless. I shouldn't have said those things. I'm really sorry, Cas."

"Wag kang magdesisyon nang padalos-dalos. I won't let you get away from me. Nangako ka sa akin 'di ba na sabay tayong aalis dito. I'm staying because of your promise. I'm not escaping which I should do because of you. Our families took us from each other in the past. Hindi na ako papayag na maulit pa uli iyon. I want you. I want us to be together forever."

Sinuklay niya ang buhok nito at tumango. "Yes, I'm sorry again. I'm sorry."

"I love you, Lang."

Nanigas ang katawan niya sa narinig. His mind is urging him to respond, to say that he loves her too but his heart protested.

"I know. I know."

Natigilan si Casindra sa naging sagot niya. It was not what she expected. Langdon cursed himself. Why can't he just say it? What's so hard? He's been used to saying it to her back then. It's Casindra, the woman he loved for years. It's not possible that he just automatically stops feeling romantic love for her.

Heto na iyong pinakahihintay niya, ang makapiling ang nobya ngunit parang may kakaiba. Parang may nagbago na sa kaniya.

They settled on the sofa snuggling close to each other.

"Oh, is that for me?" turo nito sa glasses accessory na ibinigay niya noon kay Cin.

Kinuha nito ang accessory na nasa ibabaw ng mesita at nakangiting pinagmasdan.

Hindi siya sumagot.

"I guess it's Cin's? She loves goats."

"Cin loves llamas. You love goats," he corrected her.

"Oh," she froze for a moment before forcing herself to smile. "I don't exactly love goats. I saw my father butchering goats in the field one day. I got traumatized so every time we had a meal, I always asked if the meat was goat. I cried if they served goat on the table 'cause I remembered that memory."

He felt bad for her. Kaya pala ganoon na lang ang pag-aalala nito nang makakita sila noon ng maliit na kambing na nahiwalay sa kaniyang ina.

"Cas, why did he kill you? Why did your own uncle kill you?"

Natigilan ito saka tumingin sa malayo. "To be honest, I don't know. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin alam kung bakit niya iyon ginawa. I know I'm an unwanted child. Anak sa labas. Anak ng kabit ni papa pero hindi iyon sapat na dahilan para patayin nila ako."

"Bakit mo pa nasisikmurang makasama ang mga taong pumatay sa iyo? Leave them. They're dangerous people. Baka pagtangkaan ka nila uli."

"They can't. Masyadong marami silang dapat na isipin at gawin para pagkaabalahan pa nila akong patayin. I know I should not he saying this to you but I'm not with Nathan. Sa ngayon ay nahahati ang mga Alcantara sa kung sino ang kanilang susundin. I'm with Zen now."

Ibinalik nito ang accessory sa mesa at tumayo.

"How did you survive?" pahabol na tanong niya.

"Do you have candles? Let's light one for your uncle."

Tumango siya, nakuha agad ang ibig ipaabot nito.  She doesn't want to talk about it.

"Nasa cupboard."

Pagbalik nito ay ibinigay nito sa kaniya ang isang kandila saka sinindihan. She intertwined their fingers and smiled at him.

"Let's pray for his soul Langdon that he may find peace despite all, that he may not wander in this world lost and forgotten. May he find the light."

Pumikit siya at umusal ng dasal para sa namayapang tiyuhin.

"May you find your peace, uncle. Gagawin ko ang lahat para maging pinuno ng angkan natin. I'll reform it from the inside just like what you're trying to tell me. And then, I'll follow you there shortly after."

He had already thought about the idea thoroughly. After restoring the properties back to the Alcantarans, he'll face death with half of the shame he himself caused.

He has long stopped yearning for happiness. Hindi siya dapat makaramdam ng saya. Ang taong tulad niya na naliligo sa kasalanan ay hindi karapat-dapat sa pakiramdam na iyon.

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ni Casindra na nagmulat ng mata para ngitian siya.

Gumanti siya ng ngiti na hindi umabot sa mata niya.

I'm sorry Cas but I don't deserve to be happy with you.