10: Sweet Clouds

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Tyler floated inside his aunt's car of fluffy sweet clouds created by powdered sugar from donuts and gazes from sweet blue eyes. He wasn't sure what was most intoxicating. He couldn't help but wonder if his physical therapist Mike, who he was about to meet for an appointment, would notice the increased lightness in his gait. There would be no need to practice crutch technique when he was already hovering above the ground.

"What's up with you?" his aunt asked, giving her nephew a curious glance.

It appeared Donna had noticed a difference in his demeanor at least.

"Nothing..." Tyler mumbled, even though he meant everything. Because everything felt different. He'd tried to flirt with Robin, like hard-core flirting with exaggerated hair tosses, unnecessary giggles, and excessive smiles, and while the results were still inconclusive, the indications were promising. Robin had confirmed that he definitely wasn't involved with Des, his perky best friend who was probably hot as far as girls went, and he'd also hung up a call from his mother to continue talking to Tyler.

Tyler had never hung up on his mother, because she never called.

Tyler's only regret from their study date, which was his preferred term for the session, was that he'd stumbled on the ball when it came to his own dating habits. He'd managed to spit out that he didn't date but the last word of the sentence had become stuck on his tongue, like a sticky gum chewed for too long.

He didn't date girls, that's what he'd meant to say. Because he was undeniably solely attracted to guys. He liked angular muscles, scruffy cheeks, and bulging crotches. And sweet blue eyes. Maybe he wouldn't have said all that though... Still, he wondered what Robin would have said in return to the revelation of where Tyler's dating interests laid.

"Are you sure nothing is up?" Donnas asked again, turning down the stereo, which was blaring 80's disco music, to give her nephew the opportunity to elaborate on his previous curt answer.

Maybe he should tell her? His aunt and uncle had never been anything but supportive throughout the ordeal with his mother and even after his harrowing accident. They'd been at every game he played in high school and they'd been by his bedside to help him through pain and confusion. If they hadn't bailed on him before, surely this one thing wouldn't suddenly turn the tables?

But just like with Robin before, he couldn't spit out the words. The possible repercussions surrounded him, creating a whirlwind of anxiety. Because what if this changed things? What if it wasn't fine?

Telling Miss Horn was probably enough spilled secrets for one day. That had been a good practice run but perhaps he needed to let the truth percolate before sharing it further.

So Tyler only shrugged in reply. "Tutoring went well, I guess," he mumbled. "We decided to meet up on Tuesdays as well, to make sure I catch up on everything. Robby is going read up on Geology until then so he can teach me."

"More tutoring?" Aunt Donna raised her eyebrows so far that they disappeared under her bangs. "That's good, of course, just unexpected, given your attitude last week. Your tutor sounds really dedicated though."

"He is," Tyler agreed, immediately keen to praise Robin. "And he's very... nice too." Cute was the word stuck on his tongue this time. Robin was so damn cute it wasn't fair. How was one supposed to resist that? Or focus on studying in the vicinity of such cuteness? "We get along."

"It sounds like it." His aunt smiled, but her expression soon turned into a frown. "While we're talking, Tyler, I need to tell you something else."

Tyler didn't like the serious expression on his aunt's face. "What?" he asked, running a slew of catastrophic scenarios through his mind. Had they found his stache of magazines of scantily clad men underneath his bed and were about to throw him out?

"Your mom called," Aunt Donna revealed. "Darlene is apparently at a treatment facility out west and she says she's doing quite well."

"That's good," Tyler mumbled, looking down at his shoelaces, which were bright green. This wasn't the first time his mom had tried a treatment facility and probably not the last time either. He couldn't invest his time in her over and over when she constantly let him down. "Tell her good luck, I guess."

He hadn't talked to his mom for probably a year. College life just didn't have room for his mom in it, and he figured it wasn't his responsibility to constantly check in with her. That's not how parent/child relationships usually worked. But he supposed their relationship wasn't exactly normal. He'd always been there for her as a child but she was never there for him when he needed her. Not even after his accident.

"You can tell her yourself if you like," Donna suggested. "She asked if it would be possible for you and Emmie to visit her."

Tyler threw a startled look toward his aunt. "What did you say?"

"That I would talk to you about it. Emmie is too little to make such decisions on her own but you're certainly capable of knowing what you want to do."

Needing a moment to think, Tyler gazed out the window toward the library. Bright swaying rainbow flags outside the entrance indicated the presence of some kind of event arranged by the university's LGBTQ society. Since he'd left toward the parking lot himself, he hadn't walked past it, but Robin must have passed right through on the way toward his dorm.

If Tyler had been with Robin when walking past those enticing colorful banners, maybe he would have gotten some more clues on whether he was even playing his flirting game on the right side of the field.

"You don't have to decide right now," his aunt informed him. "But Darlene suggested we'd come by in the beginning of next week, as she will be able to have visitors then. It's a bit to travel, so we need to stay overnight at a hotel."

The words distracted Tyler from his fruitless flights of fantasy. Rainbows and cute boys weren't what he was supposed to ponder at this moment.

His mom always seemed to get in the way of his attempts at self-discovery. Perhaps it was time he focused on himself.

"I'm not going," he replied decisively, gaze still peered at the swaying rainbows. Maybe they would still be there on Tuesday when he met up with Robin again. It was probably a ridiculous notion, but he wondered if he would be able to read something from Robin's expression when peering at those freeing flags. "You can take Emmie but I'm staying here. I got school and... stuff."

Mostly stuff. Flirty stuff. His own stuff.

His mother hadn't shown up for him when he needed her the most, so why would he come when she called anyway? She could figure out her own stuff while he figured out his. If he went to see her, there was a risk that her stuff would become his to solve, and he couldn't have that. Not again. Not now. Not when he was on the verge of stepping across a line he'd been tethering on for so long. He needed to take that step--or perhaps it would be more of a jump since he was currently crutch bound, but that wouldn't stop him--before he could carry anyone else.

"Are you sure?" Donna asked, putting her hand on his shoulder. He remembered that supportive hand being there when he woke up with tubes everywhere and a leg missing. His aunt's hand, not his mother's.

"I'm sure," he concluded, eyes still focused on the rainbows in the sky. "I can't miss more of school. And I got my tutoring too... I need to be here on Tuesday for that."

"School is important..." his aunt agreed, giving him a curious look as if wondering what had gotten into him. Probably because school had never been on top of Tyler's priority list before. Sometimes, it barely hit the Top 20.

It still wasn't. But school equaled Robin, and Robin had sky-rocketed to the top of Tyler Caster's to-do list. Even before beating the latest zombie game and drafting a fantasy soccer team. Even before his mom.

Author's Note: So this scene would take place after chapter 4 of SLB (A Dozen Donuts) where Tyler and Robin have donuts together. Then in chapter 5 of that story, Robin does go past the LGBTQ society event and receives some informative pamphlets.

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