ddot pov *+ We all spend the light at chanel and aj house after our day together. I'm happy to say that i'm aubrey's boyfriend. When i first saw her i wanted to speak but she was mad shy and when i finally did something about her calmed me. I wanted to wife her then and there i was just worried she wouldn't feel the same as me. Now i know that we are alike in backstories of getting hurt by someone. I would never let anything happen to aj though, not when i'm with her. I woke up to aubrey in my arms asleep and to wake up like that was all i needed. I kissed her forehead and she started to wake up. "hey baby" she rubbed her eyes and sat up to sit in my lap. That last word stuck something in me. A smile spread across my face. "hey ma" i rub her thighs then wrap my arms her wait for a hug. "imma go see if dd nelly notti and eva up you wanna go get breakfast?" aubrey speaks to me "uh sure" something was off, i just didn't know what. She seemed herself but she had a tension in her body. I brushed it off as i saw her get up. I wanted to ask if she was ok, i hope i didnt do anything weird to her.
aubrey pov*+ last night i had a panic attack. Nobody knows except notti. Notti is my twin rs but i'm not usually the one to speak on my emotions to him. To my luck he caught me in the bathroom. I woke up from my sleep around 3am last night. It was dark in my room with ddot next to me, at first i was calm but soon i felt a burden. It was like i shouldn't have said yes, ddot makes me happy but i didn't want to ever hurt him with my past, or any slip ups i make in the future. It had my mind racing and eventually i couldn't hold it in. I got up to slowly and quietly make my way into the bathroom, once i could get in there i cried. Against the walls with my hands in my face. I didn't figure out why i felt this rush of emotions, for once i was happy and my own over thinking ruined it. I hated myself last night and i gave up.. i grabbed a blade from under my sink and i cut. Once i did it, i felt even worse. I just gave up on myself on my family, on my friends, on darrian.. I cried even more until i heard a knock at the door. There stood notti with the most concerned look at his face, but it all softened when he saw tears coming down my face. He pulled me into a hug.
"yo aj what's going on" he said to me pulling away from the hug "i feel like i'm not good enough for him, i don't want to put my past on him, i can't hurt him" i wiped some tears off my face. "aubrey, he doesn't even know anything, not one thing, your good, and when you ready you tell him, and aj your amazing you the best friend anybody could have you fr ride or die" "you gon be good.. but yk i gotta ask" notti spoke and looked at me with gentle eyes. Already knowing the words that were about to exit his mouth i put my head down and sob.
"i gave up" i nod my head taking it in "i gave into it, i did it" i accept the fact that i did it
I have never seen notti cry until this moment. I heard him sniffle and i look up which makes me cry even more and i take him in for a hug. I've never shared a moment with notti more venerable and raw like this.
"Aj we gonna help you okay, your not gonna keep feeling like this, you can fight it" notti says sniffling and looking at the ceiling.
"Are you gonna tell everybody" "i might, sometimes they need to know these things, especially because you cut" notti explains "alr thanks bro" i have a slight smile and notti exits the restroom. After cleaning myself up i go back into the bed room.
present time
ddot pov +* When we get downstairs Eva runs toward aubrey. Notti is looking at them and smiling dd looks at notti and notti nods. It's something i'm missing, or something i wasn't told. Chanel joins there hug and i'm just standing on the stairs all types of confused. Maybe they were having a girl convo. Once the hug was over dd came and wrapped his arm around aj, that's where my heart sank to my ass. I was kept out of a secret and everyone knew except me. I felt out of place, if something was wrong with aj i would want to know. She never told me anything. I walked down to the rest of the kitchen. Everyone said hello to me and stuff but i just felt off after everyone came and hugged aj and i didnt even know what was going on. I wanted to be home, i didn't wanna be in this house, idk i felt out of order and i wasn't jackin the vibes i felt. I looked on my phone and i told the gang my mom texted me to come home. Lying through my teeth. I grab my stuff from Aj room, i was so upset i forgot to give aj a hug and i speed walked out the door. I was so angry that they were hiding stuff from me especially aj, im her fucking boyfriend, does that mean anything to her? It's only really the first day and i feel played, i knew i should have never gotten back into a relashionship. I didn't wanna get up on aubrey tho.. she was perfect. I just needed space.
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