𝗗𝗜𝗚𝗜𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗡𝗖𝗘 - 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗹

Everything

AEI: When I said everything, I meant EVERYTHING. This is everything important Isabell's experienced in the past eight years, so it's a lot. I wrote this chapter over the span of a month, in between all my other chapters, and WOW has it taken a lot of work. 12k words...

ANYWAY:

TW: Written depiction of suicide attempts, probably substance abuse, child abuse, intrusive thoughts and self-harm. If any of this triggers you, please be careful!! You all deserve to be happy and to take care of yourselves.

On a more positive note, I'm literally Wattpad satan and I feed off your comments like a weird, needy little devil, so please feed me!

Enjoy...

November, 2016.

Isabell is nine.

James is gone.

When They bring her to Maria Hill, snuck in at night with her files strapped down under her vest, They call her Bella.

She does not understand. More than that, she does not have the strength to.

Isabell closes her eyes and allows herself be led inside.

Even though it is the middle of the night, the man in the eyepatch keeps her awake.

"Do you know who you are?" He asks. She shakes her head, which seems to appease him. He stares at her, unblinking.

"Good. A clean slate is the best place to go from now on. You'll be who we tell you to be, is that understood?"

Isabell nods.

She knows who she is. Right now, however, she wants to be anyone except herself.

And that is what they make her.

Bella Hill, born 15th of May, 2007. Being small for her age, they are passing her off as younger. It helps keep others off their trail.

Bella Hill does not speak Russian, nor any fun languages for that matter, she does not swear at strangers in the supermarket, and she most certainly does not throw things at people who want to help her.

She is calm, polite and all-American. That is what they tell her. She attends elementary school, she does her homework, and she is not allowed to carry a gun with her anymore. The man with the eyepatch – Nick Fury, she later discovers – wrenches it from her tight fists and tucks it into his belt.

"Little girls do not have Glocks." He says firmly.

The small part of Isabell left inside of her wants to scream.

I am not a girl, It spits, clawing at the hot walls of her skin. If you had done the things that I have, you'd never sleep again. I am a machine. I am a monster.

But Bella Hill is not allowed to be a monster, and it leaves Isabell weeping silently for the part of herself they have stolen.

She clings to what light she has left.

Maria is nice. That is something, at least. She washes Isabell's clothes with the same washing powder that James used to, and she keeps at a safe distance. Maria sleeps in t-shirts that don't smell like her; rather something citrusy and warm. Strangely familiar to Isabell.

She doesn't question it.

Slowly, agonisingly, Bella takes hold.

Bella is silent. Bella watches nature documentaries that keep her head numb and empty. She makes sure her room tidy, and when she bolts up howling from nightmares, she muffles her screams in a pillow and pretends not to miss strong arms winding around her, promising that everything would be OK.