Belonging

Chapter Five (new)

Xavier Smith
Xavier's home, Atlanta, GA
7:42 PM
—

A couple hours later, I'm in my room with the lights off. 

My phone's on my chest. Screen dark. Jayce's last text still sitting there. Unanswered. 

Are you home?

5:51pm.

I haven't answered. 

It's not even intentional. I just... I don't know what to say. 

I stare at the ceiling and play everything from earlier. The brunch. Syd watching me too closely. Lexi trying to joke it away. The way I flipped my phone face down like it wasn't a big deal. 

The way it was. 

"You're still mine?"

The thing is, he didn't say it like a threat. He said it like it made sense. 

Like 'of course I was!'.  

I roll onto my side and press my face into my pillow. 

I liked waking up there.

Liked how quiet his house was. How everything had a place. How he moved through the kitchen like he'd been trained to exist in clean lines and soft lighting. Even half asleep, he felt... certain.

There's something safe about someone that sure of themselves. Sure of you.

My phone buzzes again, but I don't grab it right away. I let it vibrate against the mattress until it stops.

Then I flip it over. 

It's still his text. No new message.

I open it anyways.

Type:

Yeah. Just got in. 

Delete.

Too dry.

Type:

Just got home. You still at work?

Delete.

Why does it feel like every word matters with him?

Like I'm signing something invisible?

I tossed the phone beside me on the bed and stare at the wall. Do I actually want what he's offering? 

It's intentional, exclusive, and there's no distractions, but he makes it sound elevated. Like a standard. Like being chosen isn't just romantic--- it's selective. 

But the way he said, "I remove distractions."

That sits in my chest weirdly. It isn't scary, but it is heavy.

The buzz of my phone jolts me out of my thoughts. 

This time it's Syd.

Are you okay?

I swallow and type back:
yeah. im fine.

I send it before my mind can even attempt to overthink it. 

Almost immediately after, my phone rings.

Jayce.

I don't hesitate. I answer.

"Hey."

His voice is softer than earlier, lower as well, like he stepped into somewhere meant to be quiet.

"Hi."

There's a pause--- it's not awkward. Just resolute.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your afternoon."