Anxious [h.s]

7.

The relaxing sounds of the driving car make me almost fall asleep. My head is laying on my arm which is supported on the side of the car. Harrys taste in music is really good, the radio in his car plays 'my blood' by Ellie Goulding , thats the only good thing on the drive back from the museum. I look out of the window and watch the passing trees, when you look closely you can see the sunset behind of the forest. It started to rain a while ago so I drew a little heart at the tarnished car window with my finger, I always do this in a car, it's a dumb habit.

"are you listening to me?"

Harrys voice from the drivers seat snaps me out of my thoughts. I slowly turn my head in his direction and stop looking at the sunset.
"what?"

He bites his lips and clenches his jaw at my response.
"you never listen."

"sorry."
I look back at the sunset.
"but the song that is playing reminds me of harry potter tiktok in 2020, was a huge fan at that time." I think and automatically say it out loud. Don't ask me why I said my thoughts out loud, especially in front of him, cause I dont know it myself. I mean what do I expect from him to answer at that?

My words made him angry because I feel Harrys hand gripping my chin and turning my head into his direction so I meet his dangerous eyes. He's no longer looking at the road in front of us, which worries me a little bit. He's holding deep eye contact.

"I asked if you could behave tomorrow, and all you can think about is Harry Potter ?" he spits out.

"what is tomorrow?"
I narrow my eyes at him.

Now I see him tightening his grip onto the steering wheel, his knuckles are turning white.

"the photo shooting, god damn it."
He raises his voice.

Oh yeah, of course I didn't forget that. I was just focused on hogwarts and didn't know what he was talking about. There is no reason to burst out like that.

"I didn't forget that."

Harry shakes his head and turns his head back to the road and lets go of me. He then mumbles some words which I can't understand, and I dont really wanna know what he says.

"you behave tomorrow and do what I say. If you think about doing otherwise and forget all of our little trip today you're gonna regret it, trust me marina."
He says my name with disgust in his tone.

"I'll implement your advice, I promise."

"it's not a advice it's your last chance."

I lightly bite my lips, not daring to say something back. He's exaggerating everything a little bit too much, of course he is my boss an I understand he criticizes me but he doesn't need to get that angry all the time. At the end of the day I'm just a human being .

"I don't know how you got this job, everyone would have matched the role florence better than you."
He really does not know when to end a conflict.
I turn my head in his direction again and watch his jaw being clenched the whole time.
"she is such a strong woman and you are nothing."

I'm not in the mood to fight with him right now, so I let it be.

"you are so useless and a person no one wants to talk of-"
He takes a short break before talking again.
"-no one notices you, no one wants to talk to you, everyone thinks you are weird, and that is true you are weird. I swear if I could fire you without Andrews permission you wouldn't be sitting here right next to me."

The sun went down completely now, the surroundings are filled with darkness. The rain turned into a storm which can be seen by the amount of water droplets falling onto the glass of the car.

"everyone hates you."

"can you please stop talking to me like that!"
I suddenly scream at him, not wanting to her his words anymore. I don't know what he's talking about, but I can't hear it anymore.

"be happy someone talks to you sunflower."
He chuckles.

"what are you even talking about? I don't get the point of your speech."
My voice is sounding weak because I don't know what to say. It's overwhelming me. I want the car to stop, I want to get out of here but I can't, I have to be in the same car as him for the next 15 minutes.

"I'm telling you the things you can't see about yourself."
He shrugs.

"okay you don't need to like me, I don't care if you hate me, but we are colleagues and need to work professional with each other."
My palms begin to sweat so I dry them by rubbing them onto my jeans.

"just telling you the role florence doesn't suit you."
A grin is plastered over his face.

"oh come on, what do you know about florence that I don't know!?"
I spit out and get more angry at every word he says.
"all the things you say about me are bullshit, get yourself a hobby or something but stop insulting me like that"
I watch his face features fall.
"now you don't answer, right? You know absolutely nothing about this damn book!"

A minute of silence fills the car before his cold voice sounds again.

"oh sunflower"
He begins to smirk
"I wrote this book."

My heart stops for a minute.
What did he just say?

I look freezed at his face and am speechless. Harry Styles is the author of Stockholm Syndrome, the book which inspired the movie we're filming?
I never knew who the author was, of course I tried to find out but when I asked Andrew about it he always couldn't answer me. Also the internet didn't give me any information.
I tried to figure out who the author of my comfort book was for years and now he's sitting directly in front of me.
I slowly lean back in my seat and watch the rain droplets fall onto the glass. The car is filled with silence right now, the only thing that can be heard is our breathing.

I love this book with all my heart, but knowing who wrote this masterpiece ruins it for me. If harry wouldn't be such a arrogant dick I would be probably on my knees in front of him and crying of happiness, but right now I'm just staring into the darkness.
I don't know if I can ever enjoy reading this book while knowing that harry wrote every single line of it, that all of this romance was his idea.
Alone the thought of it makes me shiver.

Thank god we arrive fastly at the street where I live, I get out of the car and without saying anything I slam the door shut behind me. I run through the rain to my apartment and try to get into the dry as fast as possible.

As soon as I am inside I just want to calm down, so I throw off my clothes and get into a warm shower. My feet are glued to the bathtub and my eyes are closed while I let the warm water soak into my skin. I breath in sharply and try to calm myself down, I don't want to loose my job, I don't want to hate my favorite book just because harry styles wrote it and especially I don't want to let my self confidence die because of him. I'm gonna show him what I can do so he can't bitch me around any longer. He's being mean to me on purpose I know , but to make him speechless I need to be better than everyone, better as him. I'm no longer playing the weak lamb,

I'm gonna fuck this bitch.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I'm gay for marina in the next few chapters.