Quiet Moments c.l.

Drive It Baby

I'm in p1.

What the fuck I'm in p1.

How did I get here? Have I blacked out?

"You've got it kid. You're in the last lap. Push through. Push through."

With that I pushed my car to its limit. I couldn't give this up. I won't give this up.

The force felt was suffocating but the adrenaline kept my breathing from stopping.

My fingers itched with want. With need for that trophy. I need this win.

I turned the last corner and the flag came into view. I'm so close I could taste it.

I could feel the champagne running down my face, the rumble of the crowd, the trophy in my hands.

Absolute pride.

So close, push.

With that I crossed the line.

I won.

"You won it kid! You did it! Let's fucking go!"

"Ahhhhh holy fuck! Drive it baby! Let's fucking go!"

I was shaking with excitement. I couldn't contain the screams that came from my mouth without being able to hold them in.

I pulled up to the parking spot and stopped. I was in pole position. The faceless rookie just beat all you bitches.

I'm here reclaim my crown.

I shot up from my car and took off to the team.

I jumped to them and they all screamed and held me up. We were more than happy.

Riccardo came and hugged me tightly. "You did it! I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you Cardo. Thank you for everything." Thank god I had my helmet on with my visor down because I couldn't hold back the damn tears.

He hugged me once more and sent me off to claim my trophy.

I stood on the side of the stage not speaking to anyone. I couldn't risk it. I had to stay quiet.

There is a huge smile on my face. I'm over the moon happy.

"In third place we have Charles Leclerc!" I wanted to cheer and scream and run to him to celebrate but I couldn't. I had to just clap for him like a fucking normal person.

"In second we have Max Verstappen!" I clapped for him just as I did Charles.

I also knew Max from a young age. We actually got along most of the time. Him and Charles being boys always had a pissy attitude with one another but me and him were decent friends.

His dad could be a real ass and Max would look sad so occasionally when we would be at the same races I would treat him to ice cream.

As we got older he kind of shut down. We would still talk and I would hug him when I saw him but beside that we were pretty separated and he was kind of an ass and for good reason but I knew deep down he was still the same little boy.

"And in first place! Our faceless rookie driver! Number 15!" The place erupted with cheers. I couldn't believe it.

I walked up to the podium and lifted the trophy into the air towards the heavens. Knowing that they were looking down on me.

The champagne washed down on me from the two boys who had no idea my identity.

They had no clue they were spraying one of their friends from many many years ago.

I let the thought go so I could enjoy this moment.

I grabbed the bottle and joined in the fun.

We sprayed eachother and I let a laugh slip from my mouth as Charles sprayed down on me. Max was spraying his engineer.

As soon as I let the laugh slip, I cringed and silently prayed that the noise from all of the excitement would cover it.

But I knew as soon as I saw Charles' smile fall just a bit and look at me with confusion and in his eyes he had a look like he had just seen a ghost.

I had my visor down yet it felt as if he was looking straight into my soul, questioning anything and everything.

I turned from him and finsihed up my bottle. The three of us sat our bottles down and picked up our trophies, ready to walk back to the paddock.

I silently cussed myself.

Charles eyes stayed on me as I quickly made my way to my drivers room.

I was gone and locked away before he could get off the stage. I couldn't speak to him.

That look he gave me. He heard my laugh. It's not solid proof but it's probably enough for him to start asking questions and I'm not ready to answer those questions yet.

Once I was safe inside my room, I got out of my suit feeling suffocated all of a sudden.

My breathing sped up and my heart rate quickened.

His eyes haven't changed. He always made me so happy, what changed. When did we turn into this.

Never once did I think I would ever want to cry because he heard my laugh. I'm scared for him to hear my laugh. He might be mad that I'm back. What if he doesn't want me as his teammate he probably hates me.

Not probably, I know he does. He made it clear.

No matter what I'm going to keep racing. Soon he will find out it is me. He can't do anything about it either. He will have to suck it up.

I'm not leaving because he doesn't want me here. Either he will have to man the fuck or build a bridge and get over that shit.

If he chooses neither, he can be the one to leave. It won't be me.

My head fell to my hands no matter how much I try to hate him, I know I will always love him. Every memory is with him. I am who I am because of him and he is who he is because of me.

One day maybe in this life or in another life, we will have eachother again. We will be eachothers everything again.