A/N: SO I was working on another thing Saturday and then I wasn't home so no update, and then yesterday was my great grandpa's birthday and he lives 4 hours away so that was an all-day thing, but I found a cringy-ass fic I posted on Quotev in the summer of 2021, and although I would rather forget that era, I wrote some pretty funny authors notes and I came across a book title I'm minorly proud of: Necromancy for Dummies. So I thought "how can I incorporate that into a silly goofy Marauders oneshot?" And here we are.
(Does anyone actually read these notes? I know they're long asf, tell me if I should stop with them)
Evan, Sirius, Regulus, and Pandora stood in front of their friends in a spare classroom. Behind them was a chalkboard that read: "So You Wanna Learn About the Dark Arts."
Indeed, their friends did want to learn about the Dark Arts. They'd been talking about it, so the four of them decided to take matters into their own hands.
"So, any questions?" Sirius asked at the end of his brother's long-winded introduction.
Marlene raised her hand. "Is this graded? It isn't a real class, so I figured it wouldn't be, but you three are taking this very seriously. Also, isn't this technically illegal here? Shouldn't we tell a teacher? Do we have course books?"
"No, yes, absolutely not, yes," Evan answered. "Panda said she'd bring them, right, Panda?"
"Nu-uh, you said you were gonna bring them!"
"You're crazy, I said if you didn't want to bring them to tell Regulus to bring them!"
"That's bullsh-"
"Evan, Pandora, enough! I have them," Regulus interjected, before waving his wand and sending the books to all the desks."
"Baby's First Dark Arts Book? What bullshit is this?" Barty asked.
"Baby's First Dark Arts Book? Sirius, I asked you to get an actual book!"
"It is! It's a beginner's book! It was written by the author of Necromancy for Dummies!"
"Well, could you have at least spelled the name off? It feels rude to give our friends a book that says that!"
"They can cope!"
The night ended with James and Remus ushering everyone out, before trying to placate their boyfriends, who were now starting a duel, but not before everyone came to the mutual agreement of same time next week.
YOU ARE READING
The Marauders: Oneshots
FanfictionMoving all my Marauders Oneshots to one place! I'll do any ship you request other than Snily. This will mostly be Jegulus, Jegulily, and Wolfstar. No smut for now, maybe I'll change my mind.
