Apocalypse [will not be finished]

Chapter Four

"I'm really sorry, Quinn, you've really got to go." I said, folding my arms across my chest. The past few weeks had been a lot like this. I'd tell him to go, he'd start packing, Lou would beg me, and I'd eventually give in and let him stay for one more night. But one more night had turned into many nights, and I was both anxious and annoyed about Quinn's consistent presence. We hadn't gone scavenging in ages, so we were dangerously low on food even without sharing it with an extra person. I didn't get why Lou had become so attached to him suddenly. He wasn't family, nor was he my friend.

"But Laurie, can't he - please - just stay?" Lou whined, hugging my legs.

"No. Not this time, we don't have enough food to keep us all going." A little ache appeared in my heart when I thought of him leaving. Not that I cared about him or anything.

Lou let go of me and ran to Quinn. Oh, you've got to be kidding me.

"Quinn, please stay! Please!" Quinn bent down and hugged her, wiping away the tears that had formed on her rosy pink cheeks. Then he stood properly and walked over to me. Not too close so that I'd freak out again. Just close enough to make my breath hitch and my heart skip a beat. Over the weeks, the feelings had gotten worse. I suspect it's the lack of any other options.

"I'm gonna leave this time. I promise. Bye, Laurie." He gave me a sad smile (did this boy ever stop smiling?) then he nodded at me, turned, and scooped up his bag. We all walked to the window with him, hoping for clear streets.

They were, fortunately, clear, and he waved us goodbye. Then he dropped down onto the park wall, and headed towards the store again. I couldn't really take it in. He was leaving, and he would never come back. This was one person that I had chosen to lose. I was an idiot, in hindsight, but that didn't matter. I couldn't let him get close. What if he got bitten on a hunt? I couldn't deal with that.

Before I could regret anything, I slid the window shut and sat down on Quinn's mattress. It had used to be mine, until he came. Whilst he was staying here, I shared with Lou. I leant back and stretched out, relaxing. Lou's eyes were watching me. I could nearly feel the essence of betrayal that was radiating off of her.

"Lou, he couldn't have stayed." I say, even though I know he could've. "Never get too close to strangers, that's what Mum says." I look at her, trying to figure out what she's thinking.

"No, Laurie, she doesn't say it anymore. She's dead." The words come out in a shaky voice. "I always imagine that you're my new Mum. It makes me feel safe. But when I woke up and you were gone, I thought..." She trailed off, clutching the locket around her neck. Mum gave one to both of us when we were born.

"I thought you were dead, too. Then when you came back with Quinn... well, Laurie, he was so nice to  us. And he saved you. If he saved you, then I love him already." I nodded, but I was barely listening. My thoughts were going round in my head too quickly.

You want him here.

You don't need him.

You need him.

What if you have to kill him?

Does that matter?

He said he didn't want to be alone. You don't either. Give him a chance.

That's the moment when I realise that maybe I should've let him stay. But it's too late now. So instead of bothering with it, I turn over, tell Lou to go to sleep, and close my eyes. Because I can't need someone, not in an apocalypse. That's just ridiculous. Besides, he obviously doesn't need me.

That night I didn't think of what Lou had said. I didn't believe that she would miss him so much that she goes to find him. But that's exactly what she does.