Apocalypse [will not be finished]

Chapter Sixteen

The window swings open and I crash downwards, the boy with the whistle (Alex?) only just stopping me from slamming, ankle-first, into the floorboards. I stumble as his arms steady me, firm and assuring. His face contorts quickly to a concerned look.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." He says, hands still enveloping my arms. "What were you doin' up there?"

I take a deep breath, melting into his grip. I'm so tired from running, I don't even notice.

"I was looking for my friends. They've been taken off somewhere."

"Taken off?" He - Alex - nudges two boxes over with his foot and we sit. His hands leave me, and I try not to feel disappointed.

I explain from when we got caught in the cupboards. All he does is nod; his face never morphs into a frown. He doesn't blame us, doesn't tell me to get out or point the gun at my head. At the end, he smiles. It's sad, but it's still a smile.

"I knew they'd be back. I guess they didn't mention the part where the food wasn't theirs, right?"

"No, they didn't." Now I feel really stupid.

"Don't blame yourself for this. Honestly, you did the smartest thing you could've done in that situation." His voice has changed - it's clearer, as if the accent before was just a lie. A fake front.

"I need to find them."

"I know. But it's getting even darker and we're nowhere near ready to send our fighters out again." I look down at the floor. "Look, I'm sorry. You can stay here, maybe they'll escape and come back."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Okay. By the way, my bag is right outside your fence - can I get it?"

"Let me guess - they made you steal a bunch of food?"

I nod, ashamed, but he lets out a laugh and holds out a hand for me to stand. I let myself relax into the grip of it again, but then it's gone and I'm left trailing after him. Alex goes to speak to a tall boy wearing a baseball cap and glasses, and I go to retrieve my bag. Slipping underneath the fence, I notice my bag has been shoved further in. I tug my bag in with me - suddenly, my eye catches a piece of paper that looks like it's been scribbled on hastily. I snatch it up, and read it whilst crouched underneath the foliage, bag tucked between my legs. The writing is rushed and scratchy, and I think about the last time I held a pen myself.

It reads:

"Laurie, if you are reading this I am okay. I am going to make a break for it - you don't need to know what happened. Luke got away, he will be back, I hope. They took me, but I will be back too; it might take me a day or two but I will come back. I'm going to drop this letter as I run past - they may kill me but if they do you have Luke. 

Hoping you're okay - Quinn."

I swallow, clutching my hair fiercely in my hands. I keep reading the same words over and over; they may kill me. If they do kill him, it will be my fault.

"Soldier?" I force myself to climb out of my spot and meet Alex's eyes. "Ah, there you are."

"Sorry - I - yeah. Hi." He laughs, and I register how it isn't the same as Quinn's laugh.

When Alex laughs, it's like it's for the sake of those around him. To calm them down. When Quinn laughs, it's because he can't help it. Because he's sitting in a room that has zombies at the door and somebody just let out a fart. Because I fell over whilst trying to tie my shoelace.

With him gone, my brain seemed to find it harder than ever to adjust to people. Quinn had become something of a comfort, as had Luke. I felt strange walking without them on either side of me, and flinched at every moment. Every time someone spoke to me, I jumped like I'd seen a ghost. I felt ridiculous, but I couldn't help it; I was aching to go and find them, to have them back. Thinking that I might never see Quinn again - let alone neither of them - messed me up.

Alex and I returned the food to the attic, and then he went to his post - a curved balcony on the top floor. It was baffling, watching him. A boy my age, clutching a sniper rifle and aiming down the sight like it was normal. I had no idea where he'd even got it. It wasn't as if guns were legal; and if anything it was much easier to get a pistol.

He had the night shift, and insisted that I stay with him up there. It wasn't as if I had much choice in the matter - Alex seemed very much in charge of the place. Kids scurried into formations when he entered the room, and even the taller ones seemed wary of crossing any lines. Their concerned eyes made me doubt exactly how safe I was around Alex; scared of getting on his bad side, I offered him endless smiles.

We sat on the balcony for the rest of the day, my eyes scanning all around for signs of Quinn and Luke. They took up more of my brain than Lou did at that point.

"So, these friends of yours." Alex said, his arms going slack. "Are they from all the way back then? Before it all started?"

"No," I said, not sure how to elaborate, "one found me, and then us two found the other."

"Interesting." He said, as if it really wasn't. "What was that note you found earlier?"

I laughed, a little uneasily. "So you saw that."

"I sure did, Soldier. Anything you want to tell me?"

Something in my body was screaming at me to lie, but I found I couldn't. A part of me just knew that he would be able to tell if I was.

"It was a note from one of them, that's all. Saying one escaped and the other is trying to."

"Escaped?" Alex frowned, looking me in the eyes. "It's not like them to let one escape."

"Yeah, well, that's what the note said. He knows that I'm here, he should be coming back."

"I don't trust it." Alex got to his feet, eyes scanning the already-darkening streets. "If this friend of yours has escaped, you can be damn sure they let him."

"Let him?"

He ignored me.

"They want something... probably food. You said they have your other friend, they're probably... oh, God."

"What? What is it?" I stood up too, adamant to know what on Earth he was talking about.

"He's probably carrying some kind of note, telling us what they want. In return for your friend."

Then, it all sunk in. What Alex was trying to tell me.

"You're not going to give them it, are you? Not for him. Not for someone you don't even know."

"I can't, Soldier. I have all these kids to care for - we have a good thing going here - I can't throw it all away for this guy. Whoever he is, he doesn't mean anything to me."

"You're going to let them kill him."

He doesn't answer, and I felt my breath rush out of me. Quinn, lost in a single second. 

Quinn.

"There he is, Soldier. On your right."

Coming up the street, bearing a walkie-talkie and a piece of paper, is Luke. Alex was right.

Alex turns, and is about to leave the balcony when he takes my hand and squeezes it.

"I'm sorry, Soldier. We all do what we have to do."

I look away, itching to run and run until I find Quinn and go in, guns blazing.

"You'll understand someday." He says. "You will."

I drop his hand.

"In all honesty," I turn, meeting his eyes. "If I do, I hope someone shoots me."

And then I push past him to walk downstairs, heart racing and angry, knowing what I have to do. Quinn has spent countless days running after me, and now it's my turn to do the same for him.

"I'm coming, Quinn," I whisper under my breath. "I'll be there, no matter what it takes."