Flaws

Lemme Taste Those Sins

A/N- how would y'all feel about me doing something with Jo and Charlie? I kinda want to. I dont know though. Oh and you should check out the original version of this song. I love it.

*trigger warning. Self harm yadda yadda yadda*

Still Cas' POV

"Home sweet, mansion. Jesus, Cas, this place is huge." Dean said as he pulled up to my house.

"Call it what you want, hon. But it doesn't deserve to be called a home." I mumbled as I got out of the car.

"What? No goodbye kiss? Dean said as I got out leaned into the window. I winked and started to walk away. "Call me if you need anything, bee." Dean yelled from the window of his beloved baby.

"Will do, baby." I swung my leather jacket over my shoulder, swaying my hips a little more than usual. I wanted to leave him wanting more. I achieved. I went into the house to be greeted by crimson hair.

"Hey Cassie!" Anna said as she made her way into the kitchen. She still had her PJs on. I didn't blame her, it was only 10:30. "Who was that boy, Cassie?" She asked as she poured the milk in her cereal.

"The newest member of the band. I was showing him around town last night. He's a fan of Breaking Bad, so I gave him a personal tour." I was sitting on the counter, running my fingers through my hair. I wish I had Jesse Rutherford hair. I thought to myself.

"That's nice, Cassie. Now get some rest. You look like shit." She gave me the bowl of cereal and motioned for me to go upstairs.

"Way to make me feel pretty." I proceeded to make my way to my room. As I turned the corner, my mother was in my face.

"Holy Mary mother of God!" I grabbed my chest in fear.

"Do not use God's name in vain, young man." She yelled and pointed her finger.

"Jesus, Naomi. Okay. Just don't scare me again." Her eyes widened at the moment I said 'Jesus'.

"I am your mother, so you are to address me as mother or ma'am. Do you understand?" She crossed her arms as she waited for a response.

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am." I fake saluted. I began to make my way to my room, but felt a hand grip my arm.

"That boy, uh, Dean? If I see you or catch you doing anything that God does not approve of, you are out of this house faster than I can yell your name, understand Castiel?"

"Uh, sure? I don't understand wh-"

"I know you are some kind of homosexual, Castiel. Don't you dare tell me you are not. Don't you question me. I can tell. Now, go to your room. Don't you think about that boy. He is bad news." She let go of my arm, leaving a red handprint temporarily. Without a word, I when into my room. Fucking hell. The hag is onto me. Music will calm me. I was sorting through my music on my phone when I came across Sun by Two Door Cinema Club. Oh god. My feels. I want to be with Dean, but if I am, I put him at risk of getting hurt either by me or my so called parents. This boy is killing me.

Dean's POV

When I got home, Gabriel was still swapping spit with my bother.

"Get a room." I say as I try to make it to the kitchen.

"We do. But you are in it." Gabriel says with his arm around Sammy.

"You're in the living room." I turn around to face them on the couch.

"So... living room." Sam says emphasizing the word room. I groaned and made my way upstairs.

"Don't go in Sam's room, we had sex in there." Gable shouted from downstairs.

"Barf!" I yelled from my room. Music. I need music.
"Kansas, not now. Asia, not now. Elvis, I can dig it. Pucifer, maybe. Tool, no. Grimes? Sammy. The Neighborhood, yes please." I put on my favorite song and lied down on my bed. I heard the beginning of the song and slowly drifted.

"I think I found help.
I think I found something.
I think I found something in my T. V screen."

Cas' POV.

It was Sunday and I needed some mother friggin' music. Something calming. Oh, duh, I need Jesse. Female Robbery should do.

"I think I found out.
That I have nothing.
That I have nothing in this place for me."
My though quickly slipped into a black fog. I am a faggot. Father told me so. I just wonder what my actual father would say. What would he say if he didn't disappear from my arms? What would he say if I wasn't put in foster care?What would he say if I wasn't adopted by these dickbags? What would he do? Would he love me? What if my mother didn't die? What if she survived the fatal fall? Would she still care for me? Would she listen to me? Love me for who I am? These questions fill my head. My souls with grief and curiosity. My fingers shake as I reach for a snow globe from Florida. It meant nothing to me. A stupid vacation with a foe family. My breathes came out shaky as I purposely let the globe slip from my hands. My breathe hitched as the cold, glittery water collided with my toes. I bent down weakly and picked up a piece of glass. I ran my fingers around the edges, felling the blood threatening to spill. I take off my jacket, letting it loosely fall to the floor. I put the sharp glass to my pale skin. The small sting of glass against my flesh. Tears spilled from my eyes. My parents wouldn't have loved me. I'm a no good, low life, faggot. Faggot, faggot, faggot. The small wounds soon became deeper. I wanted to stop, but it was not enough. Faggot. Blood on my arms. Faggot. You're shit, Castiel. Faggot. And with that I fell.

Dean's POV.

I got this bad feeling. A vibe I couldn't shake. Like something wasn't right. Castiel. Something was wrong with Cas. How could I know that? I couldn't for sure. But my gut and heart told me otherwise. I hopped in my baby and drove to the mansion.

Knock
Knock
Knock

"What the fuck do you want?" A girl with red hair asked me. She looked at my face and instantly put her flirty face on. "Oh, uh, sorry. I didn't me-"

"Can I see Cas? I want to talk to him." I cut her off.

"Um, sure? He is third floor second door to the left." She motioned for me to come inside. I made my way to his door and knocked. No reply. Shit. The doors locked. My handy dandy lock picking skills are needed. I grabbed my lock pick kit, and in two minutes, I got it open. I walked in and was greeted by a Cas on the floor.
"Shit." I mumbled. I checked for a pulse. He's still alive. I put my hand in some liquidy substance. I looked down at my hand.
"What the fuck. Glitter water? And... shit! Blood!" I looked at his arms. Fresh wounds. I knew my gay senses were tingling. Damnit Cassie. I put him over my shoulder and walked him to his bathroom.
I turned on the cold water in the bathtub. Once it was about half full, I grabbed Cas' hair and dunked him in the water. Instantly he pulled away.
"Fucking fuck fucks! He coughed. "What the fuck?" He looked back at me. "Dean? What the fuck? Like.... what....the....fuck?" His face had water running down it. He looked so cute. "Ow. What the fuck?" He looked down at his arms. "Oh, fuck." He looked back up, his eyes flooding with pain and guilt. I kissed him slowly.

"Let's get these cleaned up. Then let's talk." I smiled at him.

"Okay." He looked at me. "Dean?" He asked.

"Yes Cas?" I answered.

"I've known you for three days, but, I feel like if known you for three centuries. I think I'm in like with you, Dean." He said softly.

"I feel the same way."

"Good"

"But I think I feel stronger." I trailed off.

"Go on" he leaned in.

"I love you."

"Good" he kissed me nice and slow.