Follow the Echoes // Ryan Lindgren, New York Rangers

Chapter Six

"How are things at work?"

Sydney hands Chris a bottle of water as she ponders over his question. The older Kreider sibling retrieves the bottle, unscrews the cap, and takes a big gulp. The siblings decided to spend some quality time together and play tennis during their day off. It has been a while since they both found time to play tennis at the club.

"It's been good! I feel like I'm right in my element and that I actually know what I am doing most of the time," Sydney responds.

"That's wonderful! Do you need any help with that auction? Lindy said that the date of the auction is an off day for us, so I can attend if you need me to," Chris offers.

Sydney shakes her head as she takes a sip out of her own water bottle. The last thing she wants to do is to flaunt her connections. She deliberately left out the fact that she is related to Chris in hopes that she can get by on her own merits. Besides, she is more than capable of accomplishing everything she needs to accomplish without using her personal relationships.

"If Lindgren asks, you guys can do whatever you want to help, assuming he actually is a good person and wants to help the cause..."

"Syd..." Chris warns.

"I can take care of the rest. Besides, I already received more donations from vineyards in California without telling folks that my brother is Chris Kreider."

Chris places his water bottle back on the bench and picks up his tennis racket.

"Using your California connections, I see," he says, "is Lindy giving you a hard time?"

Sydney sighs. Where do I even start?

The committee had charged her and Darian with a Meet and Greet event for patrons to receive an autograph and take pictures with Ryan. Unfortunately, Sydney was stuck with taking the photos. She had to look at the infuriating defenseman for much longer than she has to through the phone screens of the patrons. More annoyingly, Ryan would crack jokes, and do little things to annoy Sydney while she is trying to take the pictures for the patrons. There were instances where he would deliberately make Sydney redo photos because he "blinked" or make her pick up items that he "accidentally" dropped. She tried to take it all in stride and a big smile on her face, but all she wants to do is find a way to get him back.

To make matters worse, Sydney and Darian had done such a wonderful job planning and holding the event that the committee seems to think that the two work well together. They have since tasked Sydney and Darian with another fundraising event next week. Mercifully, this event has nothing to do with Ryan.

In reality, she knows Darian is her biggest threat in this pool of interns. He is overly ambitious and is out to outshine her in everything she does. He has, on multiple occasions, taken credit for an idea that she came up with. This reminds Sydney of law school again.

"Nothing I can't handle," is Sydney's response instead.

Chris gets up from his seat on the bench and gestures for her to follow him back to the tennis court. Sydney picks up her racket and proceeds to follow suit.

"I don't want this to be a problem you handle, Syd," Chris shakes his head, "I can talk to Lindy and ask him to knock it off."

"But I don't want you to, Chris," Sydney insists, "I can handle my own problems... well, at least personal relationships, since you are providing me with a roof over my head and all."

Chris stops to look at her.

"I'm your brother, I will always help you if you need it."

Sydney smiles softly.

"I know. But Ryan Lindgren is a beast I can take on myself, I promise."

"Ok, I won't say anything to him, but you guys need to sort out your issues like adults, yeah?" Chris gives her a stern look.

She sighs in defeat.

Chris is right. They are both adults and should not let their rivalry turn them into bickering children. It is hard to be the bigger person when it comes to Ryan Lindgren, and if she makes any promises to her brother today, it will be a promise she will most certainly break.

"It's a work in progress," she admits.

"I never bothered to ask, but what happened? You and Ryan used to be friends."

Very good friends.

"If we're going to have this conversation, I think we need to sit back down," Sydney tilts her head towards the direction of the bench.

Twirling his racket in his hand in contemplation, Chris nods in agreement. Even though he is eager to exchange some rallies with his younger sister, this conversation has also been long overdue. The siblings find their seats on the bench and sit back down.

The benefit of being an exclusive member of this tennis club is that Chris is able to reserve a private court for just himself and his sister. They are certain that this court belongs to them and that no one will come in to interrupt. This makes Sydney comfortable enough to start her explanation.

"I think everything changed the day Adam and I told Ryan that we were into each other and wanted to start a romantic relationship," Sydney starts.

She knows this may be an uncomfortable topic to discuss with her older brother but too much time has passed for her relationship with Adam to be a concern for Chris. She is no longer in a relationship with Adam, and she has no plans to win him back any time soon.

"You think he was jealous and got bitter?" Chris wonders.

Sydney shakes her head profusely.

"I think he felt some betrayal that his two friends decided to be together, and that he was being left behind. You know him, he's too proud to admit to something like that," she pauses to take a sip of water and continues, "I was nervous as hell before we broke the news to him. I think he was in shock when we first said something to him, and he told us he was happy for us. I didn't believe him."

"Why not?"

"Something changed in him. I couldn't really define it at the time, but I think after the shock, it was just deference. It was a weird feeling, but I brushed it off. He was just trying not to be awkward, and it was a dynamic we would all get used to in time. But I knew deep down, he did not really feel happy for us. It was just wishful thinking that things would get back to normal."

It feels weird explaining all of this to her brother, but now is the right time. Sydney used to share everything with Chris because she was comfortable doing that. However, when it came to her relationship with Adam, she was not. Chris tried to hide it, but he was not comfortable with her pursuing a relationship with his teammate. It created a weird dynamic between Chris and Sydney, especially when it came to Adam and Ryan. She kept all the drama to herself because she knew her brother wanted no part in it. Chris did not ask either.

Now, it seems like this topic is safe to visit. Sydney is no longer in a relationship with Adam and her rivalry with Ryan is at the forefront.

"Over time, as my relationship with Adam developed, I suddenly became the needy, clingy girlfriend that was holding him back from success. I still don't see how I did that, since he won the freaking Norris and all..." Sydney trails off.

Chris opens his mouth to cut in but decides against it. He did share some of Ryan's sentiments at the time, but now is not the time to rehash that.

"Anyways, Ryan was just mean spirited and unbearable. I felt that I had to defend myself, I had to fight back and show him that he cannot just be rude to me without consequences. Somewhere along the way, I found myself resenting him just as much as he resents me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," Chris apologizes.

He only remembered the two former friends turning into enemies shortly after the start of Sydney's relationship with Adam, and words of encouragement turned into insults. Chris tried to stay out of the drama, his personal life and work had gotten too close, and at the time, he wanted nothing more than to just ignore it. He had hoped that staying out of Sydney's complicated relationships with the two defensemen would make his problems go away.

"I was selfish, Chris," she shakes her head as the shame sets back in.

Sydney was well aware of the impact of her relationship on the team dynamic, especially between Chris, Adam, and Ryan. She felt as if she was ruining their friendship and their chemistry on and off the ice. Sydney, at this moment, realizes that she never formally apologized to her brother for creating drama in the locker room.

"Syd..."

"I never thought about how a relationship with Adam would affect you before I dove headfirst into it," Sydney murmurs.

Chris's expression softens as he places a hand on his sister's shoulder.

"All I wanted was for you to be happy. Foxy and I handled everything professionally," he tries to reassure, but he knows what he just said is not completely true.

"You always had my back and made sure I had a place to live. In return, I tampered with your relationship with your teammates, left abruptly to follow my dreams, and now I'm back because I failed at following my dreams. Worst sister of the year?"

Chris shakes his head profusely, holding a hand out to stop her from continuing.

"Stop, Sydney," he says sternly, "hold on a minute. You are not the worst sister of the year. Sure, there were some awkward and tense moments with Foxy while you were with him. I was uncomfortable from time to time, but you were happy with him for a while, and I supported that."

Sydney glances at him, shocked. This is news to her. It always seemed like Chris wanted nothing to do with her relationship. He treated it like an elephant in the room, something he never wished to address or acknowledge. There is no way he supported any part of that.

"Things got out of hand towards the end there, Chris. I knew things were escalating between you and Adam," Sydney hesitates for a moment.

Chris looks at her expectantly, waiting patiently for her to muster up the courage to finish. Sydney pauses for a few more moments, sighs in resignation, and opens her mouth again.

"That's why I decided to leave."

Chris balks.

"What?"

He always thought she wanted an escape from New York City and was ready to leave everyone in her life behind. He had no idea it was because she felt bad about the impact staying here would leave on his working relationship with the superstar defenseman.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know," Chris finds himself saying that a lot during this conversation.

Sydney's revelations today have been eye opening. If anything, Chris realizes that he had been so oblivious back then. He was paying no mind to what his younger sister had gone through.

"No, I'm so sorry for being so selfish. I should've stayed out of your world. I just couldn't help it. I was so infatuated with him."

Chris sighs, placing both hands on either side of her shoulders.

"Do you still love him?"

Sydney blinks, not expecting the question from her brother. The answer is not as easy as a yes or no. It took a long time for her to get over Adam. She thought she had put her feelings behind her until she saw him again at Top Golf. Now, she is not sure.

"No," Sydney lies.

She is always going to be vulnerable when it comes to the superstar defenseman and there is no other way to put it. This is something she needs to work through herself. The last thing she needs to do is give Chris more reasons to worry about her.

"Ok," Chris nods in acceptance before adding, "and did you really think you let me down when you decided to leave law school?"

Sydney notices her brother's conscious choice to change the topic, and she is not complaining at all. Talking to her older brother about her ex-boyfriend was a bit awkward for her. While it feels nice to be able to share this part of her with Chris, she is reminded of why she had kept him out of the loop to begin with.

"I failed and I'm back here, aren't I?"

"You know I'm proud of you for giving law school a shot, right?"

Sydney pulls herself away from her brother's grip, folding both arms across her chest.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better. Aren't you afraid that I'm going to leech off of you and Jade for the rest of my life?"

Chris laughs.

"Yeah, like you're ever going to let that happen," he says, "you are already working again. Syd, you are restless in nature. You will not stop chasing your dreams until you have achieved it."

Sydney is appreciative of her brother. He is trying to make her feel better but in a way that does not seem too obvious to anyone who does not know him well. His response is well thought out. She almost believed him and the notion that she was too determined and driven to give up. While it is accurate that she did not give up on finding a new career path, she still feels like a failure. She has relied on Chris and Jade too much the last couple of years. If she had her life together, she would not even be here.

"You don't believe me."

It was not a question but a statement.

"You have your life together and you have been trying to support me since I graduated from college. You know deep in your heart I have become an inconvenience to you," she responds.

"You're not. I like having you around," Chris says.

"No, you don't," Sydney scoffs, "how's that sex life with your wife since I moved back in?"

Her older brother snorts at her question. Of course, Sydney would go there.

"It's been fine, thank you very much," he scratches the back of his head, "there are times when you are not home, you know?"

"Oh my god, ewww, that's TMI," Sydney grimaces.

Chris laughs again, patting his sister lightly on the shoulder.

"Hey, you asked," he holds both hands up defensively.

"And now I know I shouldn't have."

"All jokes aside, Syd, we're here for you! We will always be here for you through the ups and downs, just like you would do for me if the roles were reversed," Chris got serious again.

Sydney knows she can always rely on Chris. He is right. If Chris were in a similar situation as she is right now and Sydney is able to financially support Chris while he picks his life back up again, she would help him in a heartbeat. It is just how the cards played out. Chris is the successful hockey star with a multi-million-dollar contract. Sydney is a law school dropout trying to find her career path.

Although she is not completely ready to forgive herself for being such a burden to her brother, she decides to let it go for now. There is no use in putting herself down. She will only hold herself back from true success if she continues to wallow in self-pity. Sydney has always been a woman of action, so the best she can do is look forward and be grateful that she has her brother to lean on.

"Alright, Chrissy, let's play another set! I'm sure this talk has given me the motivation to kick your ass!"

Chris pats her shoulder again before getting up to take the court again.

"Whatever you say, Syd!"