Follow the Echoes // Ryan Lindgren, New York Rangers

Chapter Fifteen

Sydney fills up her water bottle from the Brita as Jade enters the kitchen. She acknowledges her sister in law as she tightens the cover for her bottle.

"I'm surprised to see you up this morning. Whatcha got going on, Jade?"

The brunette opens the fridge and takes out an apple. She walks around the younger woman to grab a cutting board.

"Couldn't sleep. Chris was a bit restless last night. Lots of tossing and turning," she grabs a knife from the knife holder by the stove before finding a place to set everything down.

Sydney steps out of the kitchen as she senses that she is standing in Jade's way. Jade places the apple on the cutting board and begins cutting the fruit.

"Sorry to hear that, I'm heading out for my run," she walks closer to the door.

Jade opens her mouth and then closes it quickly. It looks to Sydney like Jade wants to say something but is hesitant to do it. She sighs.

"Say it."

Jade chuckles.

"It's not my business."

"You're probably right, but you look like you're going to ask sooner or later anyways," Sydney points out.

Her sister in law finishes cutting the apple and slips a slice into her mouth. After she finishes chewing the slice, she opens her mouth to speak.

"Are you seeing someone?"

Sydney laughs. It is obvious that Sydney is spending time with someone. She slept over Ryan's place the other day and it is noticeable to Jade and Chris that she stayed the night somewhere. Besides, she seems to be spending time away from home when she is not working. Sydney just has to not be too obvious about who she is spending all this time with.

"Sort of," she responds.

Jade nearly squeals as she runs over to Sydney. The brunette place both hands on either side of Sydney's shoulders excitedly.

"Finally! It has been a while," she tries to calm herself down, "is this going to be serious?"

Sydney shakes her head profusely.

"I don't think so. Just casual."

Jade frowns.

"Now come on, Syd, why not give something serious a try?"

Sydney glances back at her with an eyebrow raised.

"You know the answer to that."

Jade glances back at her sympathetically. She knows what Sydney went through last time she fell in love.

"You know what happened with Fox was an outlier. You know the love of your life is out there."

The younger woman scoffs.

"Not everyone is like you and Chris. I gave up on love a long time ago and I accept that there is not going to be an epic love for me. It's totally okay."

"Chris and I are not perfect, we go through it too. At the end of the day, if you open yourself up to more, you will have a higher chance to find the love of your life," Jade counters.

I don't want to get hurt again, Sydney thinks to herself.

"We'll see what happens. I'm not ready nor open to it right now," Sydney turns to the door, "I'm heading out now or I'm gunna be late. You know Ryan doesn't make anything easy for me."

Jade nods in agreement.

"Have a good run!" She shoots the younger woman a meaningful look, "but we are not done talking about this."

Sydney knows Jade is never going to let this go. Jade is like the older sister she wishes she had, always worried about her, and making sure she had everything she needed. When she started dating Chris, she took it upon herself to take care of Sydney whenever and wherever she could. The two became very close. Jade became her person and her sister. She was so reliable whenever Sydney needed advice. Jade knew which makeup products or beauty tips she could pass along to the younger woman and would give her dating advice back when she was in high school and college.

It seems like Jade is still on a mission to help Sydney in her love life. Sydney knows there is nothing Jade can do at this point. Sydney is stubborn and absolutely done with giving her heart to someone the way she did with Adam.

When Sydney arrives at Central Park, Ryan is waiting for her at their usual meeting spot.

"You're late," he says.

She scowls.

"No I'm not."

She checks her Fitbit. Okay, like three minutes late,

"Let's roll," Ryan turns from her to start their run.

He seems a bit cold this morning, Sydney observes. It is not like he is affectionate towards her, but they seem to be warming up to each other as of late. She does not hate him as much as she used to and she notices Ryan feeling the same way. However, this morning feels different.

Sydney follows him and tries to keep up.

"Are you okay?" She is going to regret asking but she cannot help herself.

He does not respond to her for a while, making Sydney think that he is going to ignore her question. When they turn the corner of their trail, Ryan's run slowly turns to a jog. Sydney matches his pace.

"Are you seeing him this week?" Ryan's jog turns into a complete stop. Sydney follows suit.

Oh, he knows, Sydney gulps. She is not sure if this is jealousy or him being a protective friend, but it is clear this has been bothering him. Sydney received a text message from Adam asking if she wanted to get dinner and drinks with him at The View. She had agreed immediately. It was just like old times; except she knows this will not be. This time, she is harboring a big secret from him.

"I feel like you're making this a bigger deal than it is," Sydney responds.

Ryan turns to her, frowning.

"You are going to hurt him again."

Sydney crosses both arms across her chest defiantly.

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Ryan does not know the whole story and he will never understand. She is not going to be the one to tell Ryan what went down between herself and Adam years ago, but it is frustrating hearing Ryan talk to her like she was the one who ruined everything.

"Stop leading him on. If you have no intention of getting back together with him, let him know. Stop being such a whore and giving him false hope."

Sydney slaps Ryan across the face before she can stop himself. She heard the word whore and her body reacted the way it wanted to.

Ryan looks stunned at her actions, blinking at her without another word.

"I'm sorry," she mutters under her breath and starts the run back up.

She jogs past Ryan without another word. A few moments later, she can hear him trailing behind her. The two do not say anything else to each other for the rest of the run. Sydney is extremely frustrated with Ryan, but she does not have the energy to argue with him about this. She has been sleeping with Ryan and finding herself connect with him on a level she never thought possible. Her heart flutters every time she sees him, and her body tingles every time he touches her. It is hard to get into the subject of her ex-boyfriend with him right now. She knows she will say something she will regret.

Sydney is feeling too many emotions at once to even dare try to explain her intentions with Adam with Ryan. Things have been heating up with Ryan, and the last thing she wants Ryan to know is that she will not look at another man as long as they are still having casual sex with each other.

Once the two have completed their run, they go their separate ways without another discussion about Sydney's dinner plans later in the week. She can tell Ryan is still upset, but it is better that they do not talk about it again. She will not explain herself and he will not come after her for it at the risk of appearing jealous. There seems to be a mutual understanding between them, so they leave the subject alone.

Instead of heading to Ryan's condo to have sex with him, Sydney decides to go back home to get ready for work.

-*-

"Do you want to order your usual?"

Sydney pulls down the hem of the red dress she is wearing before looking up from her menu at Adam. He is wearing a blue dress shirt and pants, which really brings out the color of his eyes. Stop it, she reminds herself.

"If you're paying," she says jokingly.

He chuckles, scratching the back of his head.

"I did invite you out, so order whatever you want."

She nods appreciatively and decides to stick with her usual. It brings back memories of when Adam would bring her up here for their dates. They are seated at a table for four because this was the only table available tonight with a view of midtown Manhattan. Sydney has not been at such a sophisticated establishment in such a long time, that she has to remind herself to be on her best behavior.

"You look nice," Adam puts down his menu and smiles at her.

Sydney blushes.

"Thanks. So do you."

"I mean it, Syd."

Sydney is not sure what Adam's intentions are with this invite. She is under the impression that he wanted to talk to her about their history and get some closure on their relationship. Given the way everything ended between them, they are due for a conversation. However, now that she is here with her fancy, figure forming red dress, he is complimenting her like he used to when they were dating.

"Why are we here, Adam?" Sydney decides to cut to the chase.

Adam shifts in his seat uncomfortably. His body stiffens.

"I-I figured we could talk."

"Okay, that's what I thought," she puts her menu down to focus on the man sitting across from her.

Ryan's accusation that she is leading him on crosses her mind. She has to make it very clear to Adam that they are just talking. She does not want to get hurt again, and if she lets Adam in again, it is almost guaranteed that it will happen. Ryan is more concerned about Adam getting hurt, which is understandable, but Sydney is heeding Ryan's warning out of concern for her own heart.

"I didn't invite Casey to our game that night," Adam blurts out.

Sydney's eyebrow quirks at the mention of Casey, the beautiful blonde that essentially was out to replace her role in Adam's life. Her jaw tightens at the mention of the blonde bombshell.

"It's not my business whether you invited Casey or not," she says quickly, trying to hide her bitterness.

Adam's face softened as he continues staring at her. It is clear that she is not able to hide her resentment from him.

"We never did anything while we were dating, and we're just friends," he tries to reassure her.

Sydney holds back a scoff. He is so full of shit. When they were in a relationship, Sydney always felt insecure. Especially when Casey came around, Sydney constantly felt like she had no place in Adam's life. Adam hung out with Casey a lot, and it seems like she was stimulating his needs emotionally, the way Sydney could not. Even if Adam did not even think about doing anything physical with Casey, it still felt like he was looking for an emotional connection with the blonde.

She is trying her best to hide her resentment for Adam right now. This should no longer phase her. She took the time she needed to get over Adam. Hell, she is even sleeping with his defensive partner. Sydney is definitely over him.

"You don't believe me, do you, Syd?"

"No, I do not," she answers honestly.

"Syd..."

"Look, this is all in the past now, let's just not talk about it anymore."

Adam sighs in defeat. He knows better than anyone how stubborn Sydney is. She has always been this way. He is not going to make Sydney talk about anything if she does not want to. He knows she was hurt by what happened back then, even though he felt like he did not do anything wrong. It is best to not push her buttons right now.

"Do you want something to drink?" The waiter interrupts the awkward silence that is beginning to form between the two.

Sydney visibly relaxes at this interruption.

"Can I have a mojito, please?"

The waiter turns to Adam.

"What about you, sir?"

"Just water."

The waiter leaves their table to put Sydney's drink order in, leaving the two alone once again. Sydney does not know what to say at this point. She is usually good at keeping conversations going, but tonight is different for her. She is sitting at a table in front of her ex-boyfriend, someone she fought so hard to get over. They are sitting at a table with a beautiful view of the city at a restaurant they used to frequent during their relationship. Sydney is beginning to regret agreeing to this dinner.

"So Lindy has been acting strange lately..."

Sydney snaps out of her thoughts to glance at Adam. He looks a bit unsettled. She can tell that he is grasping at straws to find a topic to discuss with her. Otherwise, they will just be sitting here in silence during their meal.

She knows why Ryan has been acting strange around Adam lately. There is no other explanation other than the fact that they are both having sex with each other behind Adam's back.

"Oh yeah?" She feigns interest.

"I don't know if I did anything wrong or if he's going through something, but I want to fix this," Adam sighs, "you run with him. Has he said anything?"

Sydney shakes her head. I love lying to people I care about, she thinks to herself sardonically.

"Ok, I will talk to him and figure it out," Adam says, despondent.

At this moment, Sydney wants to tell Adam about her and Ryan. She knows how confused he is about the current state of his relationship with his defensive partner. He wants to get to the root of the problem and she is sitting here with the answers. However, she knows telling him will mean more drama between the two defensemen and the last thing she wants is drama over her, especially when she has caused so much drama within the team the last time she was in New York.

"I hope things work out," Sydney says instead.

Adam nods.

"I know you and Ryan do not always see eye to eye, especially when you were my girlfriend, but I am glad that he is helping you with that relay race event."

"I still hate his guts though," she shrugs.

He chuckles.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you two."

The waiter returns to their table with drinks. Sydney picks up the mojito and takes a long sip out of it. She does not intend to get hammered but she knows she will need some liquid courage to get through this dinner with Adam. So far, they have rehashed their complicated past and spoke about Ryan, which led her to considering telling him about her trysts with the blonde defenseman.

"Syd, I invited you out here tonight to apologize for my part in our breakup."

Wow, ok. We're doing this now.. Sydney takes another sip.

"It was a long time ago, Adam."

"It was not a long time ago. It's been like two years," he rolls his eyes at her playfully.

"Ok, fine. I guess it still hurts thinking about us and how we ended," Sydney admits.

His gaze on her softens. He knows the part he played in their breakup and the fact that he never apologized for it until now is a bit insensitive of him. This has been on his mind lately, which is why he has not been playing his best game on the ice. He found himself in a slump and believed that this was a sign that he should talk to Sydney about this.

"You deserved better than me. I wish I could have been the person for you."

"You're right," she agrees, "I deserved someone who loved me."

Adam frowns.

"I did love you, you know?"

Sydney cannot help but scoff.

"Hard to tell sometimes."

"Come on, Syd. That's not fair!"

She puts her drink down and hardens her gaze on him.

"You know how hard it was for me towards the end? I envisioned the rest of my life with you. I was going to go to Columbia Law, graduate, and work at some fancy law firm in the city. It was going to be you and me. We'd both have demanding jobs but we could always make time for each other. I wouldn't be the needy girlfriend that I felt like I was. Everyone knew I was. It just felt like you were not on the same page as me. That part was gutting, Adam. And now, I don't even know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life!"

Adam opens his mouth to speak but Sydney interjects.

"I don't trust my heart anymore and it's because of you. I'm broken. I don't know how to bring myself to want to be in love again."

"Syd..."

Sydney stops herself, realizing that she has been harnessing this anger and sadness. She just unleashed on Adam. It actually feels therapeutic for her. She feels like the weight that she had been carrying the last year and a half has left her chest. She did not know how much she needed to have this conversation with Adam until now.

"Oh look who we have here!" A new voice interrupts.

Sydney's breath hitches in her chest. She knows who it is without even turning her head.

"Lindy," Adam greets, "Angelika, it's been a while."

Angelika? Sydney turns to Ryan and her heart nearly stops when she sees the gorgeous blonde standing beside him. She definitely can be a model with her long, tan legs, and bright blue eyes to die for.

"I completely forgot that you two were going to be here," Lindy chuckles.

The blonde woman shifts her attention to Sydney.

"I believe we have not met. I'm Angelika," she extends a hand out for Sydney to shake.

"Sydney," she takes her hand.

The host who is supposed to take Ryan and Angelika to their table clears her throat.

"Do you want to sit at this table?"

Adam and Ryan glance at each other.

"Come on, have a seat, Lindy!"

Sydney stifles a groan and gives Ryan a glare. Ryan grins at her widely, ignoring the fact that she is trying to intimidate him out of sitting at their table. He casually takes the seat next to her as Angelika sits down across from him besides Adam.

Sydney takes a long sip out of her drink. This is going to be a long night.