Defile Me

seven: pointless

THE SLEEP FROM last night was merely meant for me to relieve stress.. yet all it gave me was a bad cramp to wake up to and sleep deprivation.

I was up all night.

If I can recall, I only had 2 hours of sleep.

I usually settle for 6 at least.

Sleep wasn't something I struggled with usually.. but I did recently have a problem with trying to fall asleep the past few weeks.

I wasn't sure if it was stress or just the fact that I was incapable of forcing myself to shut my brain down.

My head was resting against my folded arms on the desk. I couldn't bare to sit up straight without my head falling face forward.

I wanted to sleep but the more plausible option would be to keep my eyes open and try to pay attention to the lesson.

Despite my constant efforts to stay awake, my eyes were beginning to get heavy-lidded — drowsy. The teacher's lesson wasn't helping either, it was boring me. She was reviewing last week's work, which I've already finished.

As much as I fought it, I was starting to drift off to what I hoped would go by as an unnoticed nap.

Throughout all my other 6 classes, I have stayed fully awake and forced myself to stay focused.

I just couldn't in this class. It was cold, the a.c vent hung right over me. The lesson included nothing that I didn't already know. The class was quiet.

Missing one lesson wouldn't hurt.

I sunk into a deep sleep, my mind was flooding with numerous things but one thing that my mind was set on was me dropping out of the race. It was stupid to even overthink about yet it was all I had stressing me out — the expectations I had for me.

I was thinking of all the possibilities that could happen if I stopped running for it; my father would be furious and not only that, he'd find any way possible to get me to win, rigging the race even.

He's already gone to such lengths as to try to bribe students with ridiculous things such as 'goody bags'.

I thought about it throughout my nap, which maintained for some time up until consistent banging kept me struggling to stay asleep.

It sounded like an afar, muffled sound that was slowly getting closer once my eyes began to flicker open to the view of my solemn teacher.

I wasn't yet fully conscious but I could still see the faint blurry silhouette of my teacher standing in front of me, knocking on something — my desk.

"Ms. Salvador."

My head lifted at the mention of my name, I tried to regain full stability of my body as well as energy.

"Ms.. Dick." The words involuntarily slipped past my mouth while I yawned

"It's Dickson, Ms. Salvador."

Right.

I would say that I hadn't been fully awake to comprehend it but I knew that my subconscious had been waiting for the chance to say that and most likely just found pure pleasure in constantly making fun of her name.

I averted my attention to the area of the room, my eyes continued to stay hazy as they wandered over the place. The class was empty.

The period was already over.

I rubbed my eyes, lightly stretching my arms as well as my neck.

I expected her to give me a pat on the back and let me leave but instead, she looked furious as if she was planning to punish me.