Sodo's Heart

Swiss

Finally done with the show.I'm so tired these last couple of days.Fuck I feel like a fucking teenager jerking off every damm night.Just because I have a crush on a bandmate.I head back to the bus since the guys wanted to go out again.

I got there and checked if I was really alone then I got up to my bed and closed the curtain just in case.I didn't even need to close my eyes.I saw the little glimps of Sodo half naked all day long.Since I caught it when he was changing.He was all cute and shy when I stuck my head into the room.I was glad he didn't look any closer. I had a fucking hard on just from that small bid of skin.That night was the first time when I had to jerk off to keep my sanity.His flirting with Rain wasn't helping the slightest.I couldn't take my eyes off him ever since.Seeing his lips closing around my vape or the look he gave me sometimes doing that.As if he knew my pants got uncomfortable every damm time. "Hmmm..." I imagine how his lips would feel around something else.Just now having him kneeling before me,his hands where mine are right now. "Fuck,yeah.." I moaned thinking about that. His lips wrapped around the top of my cock,playing with his tounge around it,teasing me. Holy... I was rock hard just by the picture of it happening. "Fuck,...So...oh" The picture changes in my head.Now he is on all 4 before me. So I change position to mount my hand. "Argh Sodo....argh" I cant stay silent anymore by the thought of feeling him close around me.My head plays it again and again.Sodo beneath me and I'm fucking him hard from behind.My favourite position.Fuck how would he feel like around my cock.My hand around his throat choking him slightly. Shit " Fuck....SODO...Fuck!" I scream a little to loud when I cum into my hand.It's just a couple of days later and Iam on a fucking rollercoaster of feelings.I finally have my sunshine and it is a million times better then I ever dreamed off.Sodo is not shy anymore,not to me at least.And I fall for him everyday more.I was his first men,the first who ever touch him like that but most important the first HE ever wanted.And that's exactly what has me in a chokehold the last days. What if it goes away?What if it's just because its his first time?Is it just for the sex? And what does it mean that I have thoughts like this? I can't think straight to the point that i distant myself form him.And he already noticed something going on.I just can't get close to him without feeling this nagging that Iam just a point in his life he will get over.Just the first of many others.Fuck am I jealous? of the men he might have after me? YES THE FUCK IAM!" Hey big guy,what's up with u these last days?" Phan just stands about 3 feet away from me. "Hey,just the usuall," I say.I don't want to talk about my crazy mind. "Well,a certain small guitar player is worried about u.Just so you know." He tells me while getting closer.Fuck Sodo is worried about .. me? Of course he is I was dumb thinking he wouldn't care. "So he talked to you?" I watch Phan close now. "Me? No but even a blind person sees that something is going on between you 2." Shit. I tried to put my mental walls up but he already saw it. "Yeah I saw it. You are scared he walks away from you now that he had u." WTF How does he know? "Sound's like u talk out of experience?" He smiled. "Yes,it seems like we both have a thing for guitar players." he smirked. Oh Phan and Rain ?!? "Does Rain know?" Phan didn't answer that so I knew. He was at the same point as I was with Sodo. "So what should I do?" "The only thing I can tell u is to think about what u want.What u feel for him.And when u know go and tell him!" I just looked at the sky."Yeah I already know that but what if he doesn't feel the same?" Can I go and put my heart on the line for him?!? Phan just watched me sunken in my thoughts. Seems like there were 2 hearts on the line here. "You do love him,don't you?" I ask Phan. He needed a while to answer. " Yes and u are afraid he walks away after the first flutter is gone." He didn't said it to me more like to himself but it was exactly what I felt. "So we both have something to risk tonight." "Seems like it." With that we just smoked one more vape sunken in our own thoughts.Tonight it's gonna come to all or nothing.Eather way he was worth going through hell 10 times over.