Sodo's Heart

Chapter 8

I'm sitting in the waiting room with Rain and Phantom.It's been 3 hours since arriving at the hospital.Swiss's status is still critical and we don't know if he makes the night. Phan just got off the phone with Papa and Mountain informing them what had happened.They now try to push back the Tour as much as possible for Swiss to get back on his feet.Iam so thankfull for Rain and Phantom. They found him and are here with me now.

5 hours until that fucking door opened.I hurry to the doc coming out."Are u related to the patient?" "Yes, Iam his ... boyfriend." He seems sceptic but informs me that his status is stabile now but he isn't out of the woods yet.The malnurishment makes it hard to predict if he makes the night.At least they now let me see him.I tell the twins to get home I will check-in on them when something changes.I will stay with Swiss whatever happens.When I get into his room he is in nothing but a hospital gown.The contrast between the fabric and his skin makes it's stage even more visible.He has a few IV in his arm and a small oxygenline under his nose.The doc told me he will sleep due to the medication.I sit down in a chair,I pulled next to his bed,holding his IV free hand.And just watch his chest go up and down listening to the hearbeat monitor beside him.I nearly lost him.Now it starts to sink in.Tears filling my eyes again and I'm not holding them back. "Why? Why the fuck did u do this? I can't loose you! Crazy bastard I won't ever loose you." My hole body is trembling from the emotions flooding my body.I can't hold them back any longer.Nearly 5 weeks without a sign of him.When the trembling stopped I layed my head on his hand.I need to feel him,his warmth,feel that he is still alive.I can't wrap my head around the fact that I nearly lost him before I even had him.He still wasn't out of the possibility to not make it but I prayed that he will survive the night and the night after that.I won't leave him.My phone vibrates in my pocket and without moving away I read the text. -How is our big guy doing?Rain- He had texted 2 times already but I wasn't able to answer. -No changes.He is still out cold- I texted back.When this all is over I have to thank the twins for everything.I couldn't imagine what I had done if they hadn't found him in time.No,I won't think about that now! He was here.He was alive!That was all that mattered.2 days gone by without me noticing it besides the doc-checks and Rains texts. Still no changes but at least he was holding on.Phan visited for a few minutes to bring me some food and checking on Swiss so Rain didn't annoy him anymore. "I can't image what ur going through,Sodo.If it were Rain i would go crazy." He understood it more than anybody since he found Swiss.We talked for a while. Turns out he had a crush on Rain even before even Rain noticed it. It got my mood up knowing I might have helped 2 people I loved finding there way to eachother.He even opened up about a surpise he had planned for Rain where he needed help.I was more than happy offering my help after all he did for us.We planed the hole thing in person as much as via texts when he had to drive back to Rain.I just hoped it goes according to plan for them.Although Iam glad for the distraction I had to think about Swiss the entire time.I wasn't ready to leave his bedside.So when Phan visited for his plans he sat under the TV on a small table.Swiss's slow but steady heartbeat as backround noice to calm me down enough to focus.I cursed my brain hunderts of times because it made me think how this would be if Swiss wont make it. After Phan left I "talked" to Swiss about whatever came to my mind.I must have fallen asleep again because one of the nurses woke me up by checking his vitals. No improvment but also nothing to worry about other than him waking up. We talked shortly since she was the only one okay with me being here 24h. She made me hope but also shared her experiences with me which I was more than grateful.When she left I started talking again while updating Papa. He had gave us 2 months.I hope that was enough time.When I woke up again my back was killing me besides the regular accuring nightmares.But there was no other bed in the room beside Swiss's. I missed his warm large body against mine. So carefully I climbed onto the bed on the IV free side.Slowly not to hurt him i layed down on my side facing him.I rested my head on his chest feeling the up and down of his breathing.Which made me fall asleep fast. "Iam here,I will never leave u.I love you!" was the last thing I sad before passing out.