Sodo's Heart

Chapter 9

It was a dreamless sleep and I was thankfull for that.I finally got some rest knowing he was still with me.I nearly had a heartattack when something was crawling up and down my back.I woke up immediately when I realized what it was.

Swiss's hand !! He was awake!!!That sucker had the balls to pretend he was still passed out when I opened my eyes."How are you feeling,Asshole?" I ask seeing the slight smirk on his lips.I would have given anything to freeze this moment he opened his eyes.Of course he was still not 100% himself but I was to happy to see him awake to care.I didn't even let him answer and just cuddled back into him.I didn't want him to see the tears filling my eyes again.But this time there were happy tears and I know he knew."Iam okay,Sunshine." he stated and kissed my head.I looked up at him. "I thought I lost you.WTF happened?Why did u just disappear?" I just couldn't help the questions kept comming out. All the thoughts from the past few weeks combined.Swiss took a deep breath and I thought he was still to weak to answer. "That morning I woke up as the happiest men alive.I had U and that was all I ever wanted.The reason I left wasn't because I didn't wanted it anymore.It was because I didn't deserved to be this happy.I didn't deserve you,Sodo.Never will and that was my way in saving you from myself.But the moment I stepped out of the house I just felt miserable.I tried to keep my distance from you and anyone in hope it would help but it didn't.Far from it.It made it only more hurtful.I didn't wanted you to see me like this.This weak and scared little men affraid to tell the love of his life how he felt! You deserved better than that." When he looked at me again I saw all the raw emotions,the pain he had indured these weeks all alone. "I tried to distract myself.Finding something to get my thoughts of you off but all I found was alcohol.I couldn't bare to be touched by anyone but U so I drank."Fuck my heart was bleeding listening to him.I had no idea what to say. "You may never forgive me for what I've done but I will make sure to make it up to you,Sunshine.Even if it takes a lifetime." "OH SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB BASTARD!!" I said and kissed him hard. He returned the kiss after a few moments shocked by my outburst. I didn't wanted to let go of him forever but he broke away. "Bastard,hmm? So you forgive me for being the jerk of the century,Sunshine?" I kissed him again. "Yeah and I promise you next time I get to kill you barehanded if you try something even close to this again! Or if you try to hide you or your feelings from me again." He laughed at that."We might need a reminder for that.Did they save the stuff from my pockets?" I was stunt at this question but nodded. Heading to the clear plastic bag on the small desk. "Yeah,I didn't touch it." I handed it to him. He searched a while until he found his target.