Takami Flock | Shinyo & Keigo Takami

Capnophobia

When Shinyo goes back into his poor hideout post his prison breakout, the stench of cigarettes is already stuck to the walls to the point no hours of opened windows would get rid of the small.

When he notices the cigarette burns on his son's little feet, he wants to punch something. But it scares his son. He scares him. And he deserves the distrust. He hurt him when he was having the worst time of his young life. He threw him off the tower. He deserves to be feared by his own child. Keigo doesn't though.

He doesn't deserve the fear.

He deserves to have a Dad with patience whose first idea when he's frustrated isn't to punch a wall enough to leave an imprint. He deserves the safety of knowing his dad would never hurt him.

But instead, his dad reminded him of his stepfather, if either of the two men can even be called that.

He deserves to not freeze every time he smells cigarettes on his dad. He deserves to not smell cigarettes ever again in the first place, especially on his dad.

He deserves more then Shinyo Takami.

But he doesn't have anyone else, so it's up to Shinyo to be that dad. To become a man worthy of being a dad to the small, precious little boy that he loved.

He doesn't know how though. He wants to, God, he wants it so much it's killing him that he doesn't know how to become a man worthy enough of the unconditional love that his son showed him. Keigo was half-dead on his feet because of him, had been so terrified of him that his very heart threatened to give up and yet he wanted to stay with his dad.

He was willing to try and trust Shinyo again.

And Shinyo feels his chest squeeze and his eyes grow hazy when he remembers.

He doesn't know how to become a better man. He never learned how to change and only his son's love was there to push him to learn. He loved his son enough to try for him.

Shinyo quits smoking.

He feels the cravings. Even when he once already stopped due to his imprisonment, he started again the moment he escaped. And part of him wants to do it again.

But for his son, he was trying to quit once again, and this time for good.