Whispers After Dark

Chapter 14

 It was pretty clear to see that I hadn't gotten much sleep. My eyes stung every time I blinked, and the dark circles under my eyes were evidence of my sleepless night. I would've loved to talk to Emily right now, but she had moved away from me. She had joined the group of children consisting of the little children. Their chit-chat had taken over as the only noise in the dining hall. The older children were never much energetic in the morning.

Holly had placed herself beside me and started to talk more. She didn't speak a lot about herself and redirected personal questions.

"I've heard 'bout Emily so much she feels like she's my 'sista," Holly giggled.

I felt a little embarrassed, but I couldn't stop myself. Emily was the only thing I wanted to talk about. Her mouth was smeared with her breakfast as she interrupted another child's story to add her comments. It was so adorable, I couldn't help but smile.

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Roy wasn't present during studying time. The class was in chaos, not many children were doing their work. I preferred to zone out from nature in silence so it was impossible to watch the peace outside the orphanage grounds.

This was ample time to figure out a plan. The most pressing matter to me right now, was whatever drug they were using on the children to sedate them. I couldn't tell if it was dangerous to Emily and what it was doing to her. My mind wandered to the worst possibility that the older children's orphanage was just a myth that children died after they turned sixteen. Sure, I was turning sixteen soon, but I hadn't been here for very long so I doubt it was affecting my body too critically.

I needed to find out whatever Librium was. Wait. Mr. Chamberlain had books about everything. There had to be something about medications in there.

It wasn't a very thorough plan, but if I could get my hands on that book, I could figure out a plan in the future to escape.

Part of me still hoped that we wouldn't have to leave this orphanage. Maybe Librium wasn't too bad. After all, the children were making the drugs unwillingly. Could that still be persecuted in court? I didn't want to take my chances.

I walked over to Mr. Chamberlain's office. It felt like a familiar journey though I had only been here once. Twice if you would count the drug operation.

I hadn't even thought if he would mind me leaving the classroom. These last couple of days had been so hectic, the lines for the rules were blurred. It's not I was on his good side anyways. The worst that could happen is that I would be sent back.

I knocked on his door. He didn't appear until I knocked again. Only a third of his body was visible from the slightly opened door.

"Hey, Mr. Chamberlain!" I said cheerfully. If I wanted to get anything from him, I'd have to suck up and ask nicely.

"You should be in class," he replied scornfully.

So much for trying to be nice. I knew he was a stickler for rules, but it was impressive how little freedom he left.

"I was wondering if I could borrow a book from your shelf. I was curious to learn about something." Uh-oh. I didn't know what I'd say or what I wanted to learn. Maybe I wasn't even supposed to know that he had a small library in his office.

He stared at me for a while, flaring his nostrils and maintaining eye contact. Smiling at him made me more uncomfortable.

"Come in."

I sighed in relief that he would let me enter. Mr. Chamberlain was an unpredictable man. He could get mad and then philosophical all in a matter of minutes. I was a victim of his mood swings.

The room looked exactly the same as before. The tidiness was impeccable except for the ceiling which had been collecting dust since before I had set foot in there. I kept my eyes off the right shelf to not raise any suspicion as to what I was doing. Mr. Chamberlain went back to sit at his desk, but his eyes shifted to see what I was doing every couple of moments.

Walking over to the height-descending bookshelf, I began looking for the book. I didn't want to be here any longer than I needed to. If it was a medicine book, it was most likely going to be thick. Following the stickers, I understood that the blue ones meant science related. Taking out every science book to briefly read its contents made me look really suspicious. He hadn't asked me what I was so curious about, but I couldn't help but feel his gaze on me as I rummaged through his library collection.

There! A book about medications. Flipping through the pages, it was in alphabetical order from left to right. "L" must be closer to the end. Lialda... Librax... Librium. I looked for words I could understand in its description but words like benzodiazepine and chlordiazepoxide confused me.

Oh, God. My stomach started to churn, and I almost dropped the book. The children were being overdosed with Librium. It put them into a drowsiness state, being confused and easily manipulated. That wasn't what scared me though. The side effects of aggression and anger, thoughts of suicide, muscle weakness, stomach pain, and nausea; it was all starting to make my head dizzy. Emily was in danger from the side effects.

I tried to look as calm as possible returning the book to its original place. There was a high chance Mr. Chamberlain had been watching what book I was so interested in. I grabbed a couple of history books to flip a couple of pages through so he didn't catch onto my investigation. I couldn't get a good view of him from behind me, but he hadn't gotten up from his chair.

Putting the book back, I made my way out.

"Thank you, Mr. Chamberlain," I said cheerfully, waving my hand to indicate my leave.

He made no gestures to send me off. A simple glance was all I got before he got back to work. I wondered what was so important for him to ignore my presence in his office.

Turns out I had spent too long in there, as the children were already utilizing their physical activity time.

The sky hung heavy with a thick blanket of gray clouds, casting a colorless shadow on the orphanage grounds. The air was cool and damp, and despite the cold nature of the atmosphere, the usual laughter and play of children subdued the gloomy energy.

Outside the windows, raindrops tapped gently against the glass, racing along the clear surface to be the first to reach the bottom of the frame. I could watch them for hours but Mrs. Chamberlain's figure blocked my view.

"You should be outside right now."

I titled my head up, to make eye contact with her towering body.

"I'll be right out," I replied. It was best if I didn't have to explain what I was doing. Mr. Chamberlain was probably going to tell her anyways.