Redemption

Chapter 13

Azalea stumbled forward, a hand snaked around her waist, steadying her. Acrux guided Azaleas to her couch, sitting; she stared ahead, giving no reaction.

"I will be right back, hold on," he said.

She heard him rummage through her drawers, coming towards her holding a tray of medical supplies. Azalea blinked, glancing down at her bloodied shoulder and gashes on her leg, forgetting they were there. Moving to take a seat, he placed the tray on the table.

"I'm going to cut away your leathers; I need to clean that shoulder. Nod for me, Azalea," he said gently.

Nodding, she angled herself better, so he could dress her wound. She could feel the coolness of the knife as it cut through the bloodied leather, experiencing the rush of air on her wound and exposed shoulder. Acrux grabbed a rag and gently wiped away the extra blood. Flinching as the burning sensation intensified as he dried the wound. Taking a needle, he sowed the skin back together expertly. His hands softly brushed her shoulder; Azalea shuddered at the contact. Acrux stilled, and he moved on to the gases cleaning them quickly. Clearing his throat, he went to put the tray away.

Slowly becoming aware again, she cleared her throat, her voice rough, and asked, "Are you not going to ask?"

"I'm not going to interrogate you in this state; if you want to share, go ahead. Otherwise, goodnight." Pausing, "Will you need an elixir to speed up the healing process, or do you heal fast enough?"

"I'll be fine in a few days," she replied. Hesitating, she whispered, "It was Creed."

Acrux walked back to her, perching on the table, his eyes finding hers, staring intently.

"Was this someone you cared about, an ex-lover?" he probed gently.

Clearing her throat, she breathed, "That man raised me; Creed was a second father to me."

He raised his brows, surprised.

"The man I killed the first day back, Creed sent him to dispose of me. Supposedly, I was becoming a threat." her jaw clenched, digging her fingers into her palms hard enough to make crescents. "The one who raised me tried to kill me, so I killed him. That's your answer," she said blankly, smoothing her face into an unreadable mask.

"It is normal to feel remorse. It doesn't make you weak. Regardless, that man did raise you." Acrux said gently.

"If I let myself feel, I won't return to the surface. Why do you think I agreed to this bargain? Caelum is my salvation."

Acrux's jaw clenched, and something flashed in his eyes. Tentatively he said, "Do you really believe Caelum would solve all your problems. Maybe the image of Caelum you have does not match your expectations."

"It's Caelum; it's a place everyone desires to go after death. Who wouldn't want to live in peace, not plagued by their past. Living in luxury. For all eternity."

His teeth grinding, "So you will go to Caelum and forget everything, all your dreams and regrets." he said.

"If you're asking whether I regret my actions today, the answer is no. I don't regret killing him because the man who raised me is no longer here. He has been replaced by a power-hungry tyrant." I am mourning the man he used to be. The one who would read me bedtime stories and hold me after nightmares told me it'll be fine. Or he would let me stay in his office, giving me unlimited hot chocolate." She smiled sadly as she remembered. "I'm now the cause of death of my parents and my second father. So I need to get to Caelum because I do not want to live reminded of this burden forever. I will kill whoever stands in my way. Creed would have sent another one to kill me when he found out I was alive. Temporarily even, it would be annoying."

Frowning, Acrux asked, "What do you mean by you're the one who caused her parent's death. How could a child do that?"

She stilled, not noticing that it had slipped out. "Forget about it. It's nothing." making a move to stand, she winced.

Acrux pushed her down gently, his hands stroking her knees. "Have you considered that if you talked about what you're suppressing, Gehenna wouldn't have been as bad because you would have made peace with everything? It doesn't hurt to try."

She was quiet momentarily, "My parents owed money just when they saved the required amount. I became very ill, and they had to spend that money on treatment. Nobles, despite their wealth, charge a small fortune for healing. Because of me, they were unable to pay their debt on time. The ones they owed burnt our house while we were still in it. My mom took me outside and ran back to get my dad. I watched them go up in flames. Happy." she said.

Lifting his hand, he gripped her jaw, the touch delicate. "And what became of the one who killed your parents?"

"I killed them once Creed trained me; they were my first kill."

Caressing her face, "It's not your fault Azalea; you were a child; you killed the ones who were at fault."

"It was my fault, and we both know it; it's my burden. It's not only them who died in that fire. My best friend, Samael, died too. Forgiving myself means I will forget them. I owe it to them to never forget." she said, leaning back out of his touch. She wished she didn't, missing his touch immediately. "Why do you care? You expressed countless times that you never trusted me."

"I still don't; that doesn't mean I can't offer any wisdom I gained over the past few centuries. You clearly needed it." The once-caring Acrux is gone.

"Good night," she said curtly, walking to the room.

Laying on her bed, she stared at the ceiling, thinking.

Maybe Acrux is right; maybe if I had just dealt with my shit, I wouldn't have suffered that much in Gehenna and wouldn't have accepted that damn bargain. This is all my fault. Wait, what did Creed say about the boy? How does that relate to me, or maybe he was just a dead man rambling.

Head swimming with thoughts, she slowly drifted off, the darkness claiming her.