The Pogue Princess

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𓇽

Its been a couple weeks since the party and I still don't know what to think about this whole situation. I still like JJ, but he obviously doesn't like me anymore. He hasn't even tried to talk to me since the party. The Pogues haven't reached out either, which makes me come to the conclusion that they realized I'm not exactly what they want in their group. John B must have lied about the whole "JJ being a mess" situation. If he was that hurt, he would have done something by this point. The more time that passed, the more I came to realize he didn't care that much about me. I had to assume Sarah didn't tell them about the whole Rafe situation, because I never got any messages from any of them telling me how stupid I was being. The again, if she did then no one bothered to ask me about it. None of the Pogues cared too much about me anymore. It did hurt a bit, knowing that my time with them came to an end so quickly, but it was fun while it lasted.

Rafe has been there for me, in his own way. He is a great guy when he is in a good mood. He is sweet and funny, and you can see his charm. The second something doesn't go his way become scared of him. I don't really like him but I don't have a choice but to hang out with him because he gets so mad when I say no. Yesterday, when we were at his house, I told him I was busy that night so I would have to leave. The conversation ended in a chair being thrown and me being shoved into the wall.

I guess it isn't a horrible thing to be around him though, because he does give me nice things. He is so rich, like filthy rich. I don't get how his dad made so much money, they are all set for the rest of their lives and then there's me who gives every last penny to my dad. If my dad saw the things Rafe would give me he would go ballistic. He doesn't want me to have nice things, he just wants me to give most of my money to him so he could get himself stuff. That's why I don't mention what goes on at Rafe's, ever. I hide the gifts he buys me, like the earrings and the necklace from last week that he got me as an apology for slapping me and locking me in his room. That's what he does, buys himself forgiveness over and over again. And I somehow keep on falling for his tricks. Even if I know how wrong this whole thing is.

Today I wasn't going to his house, he had to help his dad with something. I could spend today relaxing in peace and quiet, without any distractions. Diego was out at Jax's house again for a weekend sleepover, Papa never came back from the bar in the town, I was left alone for the first time since we moved here. It was definitely something I could get used to.

I slowly lifted myself out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen, trying to make the blood flow to my legs. There was some left over pasta from last night, I grabbed it and threw it in the microwave. That was quicker then making something. Once the timer went off, I sat at the table and enjoyed the pesto sauce and bowtie pasta. I had no plans for today, so I wasn't going to get myself ready for nothing. School was closed today and tomorrow due to a "ventilation issue". I wasn't complaining, the less time in that jail the better. It also lowered my chances of running into the Pogues. I could be left alone, without constant reminders that I had just lost my entire friend groups after two weeks of knowing them.

I decided I would just head out to the clubhouse to read the story Mr. Sunn had assigned as the class novel. I would at least attempt to be a good student sometimes, and today was a perfect opportunity to get some work done.  I was backed up on a lot of assignments, and I obviously wouldn't get them all done. Today I could focus on just the book. Read that for awhile.

Once I got halfway threw it, I decided I needed a break from letters and paper. I was about to head to the beach, when I saw my phone ringing. My hope was gone when I saw Rafe's name instead of JJ. I answered and heard his sleepy voice.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you?"

"I'm alright, how about you?"

"I just woke and had to hear your voice. I was thinking about something we can do on Saturday if your not busy."

These are the things Rafe does that make me second guess not liking him. He can be so sweet, so nice, so caring when he wants to. I could like this side of him, but it's the other side that just scares me. Locking me in a room, slapping my face, throwing chairs. He had two sides, but the nice one is the one I craved to be with as often as I could.

"I don't know, I think I have to watch Diego."

"No, you're coming. Get your Dad to watch his annoying son for a night" he replied annoyed

"Rafe, I don't want to leave him here alone with him, it isn't that simple" i tried to make him realize that I wasn't comfortable with that decision, but he wouldn't listen.

"You're coming Briella and you're gonna have a great time ok? stop acting like your dad will beat up Diego when your gone"

He didn't know that could actually happen. That Papa does beat us when we do something to annoy him. Rafe had no clue, no one did except for the people involved. I kept on thinking of ways I could get out of this, hearing Rafe's deep breaths through the phone. I guess I could figure it out, get Diego to stay in his room. I didn't have much of a choice, it was that or get into a fight with Rafe again.

"I guess, what did you have planned anyways?"

"A date, on my boat. Just me and you Brie"

"I don't know Rafe, I just don't think I'm ready with the whole JJ thing. A date is like a big step"

"Would you get over him! He's a nobody, I'm a somebody. So you'll come with me and have fun."

"Rafe..."

"Here, how about this. I promise I wont kiss you alright? It will be like a first "get to know you" date thing ok? Please sweetheart"

"Ok, but is it going to be like fancy?"

"Of course, only the best for you"

"I don't have anything to wear, like at all"

"Don't worry. Ill have everything covered. You just need to get here for like 5 ish ok?"

"Are you sure? I don't want you to spend a whole bunch of money on me"

"Stop worrying Briella. Just come ok? I'll see you then"

"Ok, bye Rafe"

"Bye Brie"

I hung up the phone and my mood had completely changed. I went from happy in my own little world, to nervous about something that was happening in two days. I wasn't ready to go on a big fancy date, I wasn't over JJ yet. I never really wanted to go on big fancy dates anyway because it just reminds me that I don't have that stuff. I was just frustrated with the whole situation, and Rafe would never let me say no. He was so demanding, just like my dad. It continued to worry me, and I knew I would slowly start to regret making this new friendship.

What if I was getting myself in another abusive relationship? I don't think I could mentally deal with being both Papa's and Rafe's punching bag when they got upset, it was hard enough with just one of them. Now that I had to worry about protecting Diego as well, it would just be too much. I knew Rafe wasn't as perfect as I wish he was, and JJ spoke the truth when he told me to stay away from him. JJ was gone now though, so his truth isn't so important anymore.

I wish JJ didn't just stop caring about me all of a sudden. I don't get what I did. Was I just that unlikeable? Is my dad right? Am I the problem in everyone life? I was thinking about to many things, I climbed out of the Clubhouse and went to sit down by the beach. As I lowered myself onto the sand, I say the perfect surfing waves in the distance. He was probably out on the water right now surfing, enjoying himself, chugging bears and jumping off of cliffs into the water. He was living his best life while I was here, alone, left to my thoughts.

Then I saw it, a dolphin jumped out of the water, so gracefully. Like it had done it a million times before. That dolphin was free, no one keeping him in one spot, or breaking his heart. He could do anything he wanted. I got up and walked into my room. Once I got there I went into my night table drawer.