Elezia

01

15 years ago...

I was browsing pictures on my phone and saw a picture of my escape, Mary Elezia.

It was sunny that day, pero umiihip pa din ang hangin kahit papaano. The waves were crashing on the shore. A beautiful woman was standing there, admiring the view habang tinatamaan ng hangin ang mahaba niyang buhok.

I took a picture of her; she's more breathtaking than the ocean.

I only see her once a year, every summer vacation. Nakilala ko siya dito sa beach two years ago. I was so lost when I met her; it was the lowest point of my life.

I came there to unwind. I have depression, and my family is abusive, especially my Dad.

Elezia is carefree and bubbly—the complete opposite of me. I find her annoying most of the time because she doesn't seem to understand what it's like to be depressed.

She's insensitive, just because masaya ang buhay niya.

Palagi niya kong kinukulit, she said she likes me. I also like her but I pretend I don't. She's too good to be with someone as pitiful as me. Kahit gaano pa siya ka-positive, I know she can't fix me.

Reunion namin ngayon ng mga friends ko. Magkakasama kami sa isang coffee shop tumatambay lang dahil pagkagraduate namin ng senior highschool ay bihira na lang kami gumala. We're taking different paths in life now.

"Hoon, ano nga course mo ulit?" Tanong ng tropa kong si Won habang humihigop sa iced coffee niya.

"Psych. Why?" I answered.

"Ohoy! Mga mentally unstable nga naman nag-psych." Jake teased me, may pag hampas pa sa likod ko muntik na matapon ang hot coffee ko.

"Shut up bro." I laughed. Madalas ay ginagawa ko na lang din biro kung ano man ang nararamdaman ko, lalo na kapag mga tropa ko naman ang kasama. Lalaki kasi kami eh, the society view us as strong. We are afraid to be seen as weak.

I'm taking psychology because I want to know more about mental health, and I also want to know why people act that way, or more specifically, why their behavior is like that. What turned them into that?

"Wala lang, babasahin mo utak namin ha!" Dugtong pa ni Won.

"Bobo ka talaga." Sagot ko naman kaya nagtawanan kami.

"Malapit na din start ng classes guys, wala ba kayo plano mag outing diyan?" Suggest ni Won dahil kahit kailan ay hindi makulayan ang mga plano naming swimming magtotropa.

"I'll pass this time again." I answered. Ako palagi ang absent at missing in action sa circle of friends namin dahil nga ngayong summer ko lang talaga nakikita si Elezia. I don't want to skip dahil isang beses nga lang kami magkikita, hindi ko pa ba magagawan ng paraan? Eh araw-araw ko din naman nakikita ang mga pagmumukha nila Won dahil taga Manila naman sila.

Elezia is from Nasugbu, Batangas. Ang layo ng binabiyahe ko every time na kikitain ko siya. Two years ago, nag bakasyon ako sa Nasugbu dahil magaganda daw ang mga beach doon, that's when I met Zia.