Darling, if there is one thing i have learned, my whole life. I may forget most lessons i had to learn, i may need to learn them again. But this one particular thing i learned that holds SO MUCH feelings and thoughts and love. Is that you are the reason i am even still alive, i have been searching for a purpose, for my reason. Why i should keep going on, and existing on this planet, i was not alive until i met you. I may still have a lot to learn and may still be fighting a lot of the same battles, and go through the same problems but they're not the same as they were before. I don't feel like i am dead constantly, the thoughts of you honestly lift me up. You make my heart beat again, you make me feel like maybe the future does have hope and maybe we can finally get our lives together, the way they should be. Even when we're lonely, we can be lonely together. Even when we can't express our pain, i hope that we can sit down together even if it is texting and understand each other. Because there is so much i am dying to say, but it is things i can't even say to myself, or figure out how to say when i am simply alone. You are like me, i am like you right? I have tried telling you what is going on again, but stopped before it could come out. But i promise to tell you when i can at least say it to myself <3 for i would never keep anything from you, but i can't find the words neither, but all i can think about currently that feels right to me. Is you. You're my reason to get through this, once again. But before i met you-- i had no reason so i would not get through it, i would sink into it. But i won't keep letting myself do this, i want to get better for you so you only have the best version of myself. I want to do this with you, i want to live this life with you, even if there are not many reasons to truly stay here, you feel like the only reason i need. Even if someday i only had you, i would be able to get through life still. If there is anything in this world that i can and DO believe in, it is you. I have wished for you all my life, you are the one i have been waiting for, dying for, the one i would talk to the moon about, i remember thinking "if i do have a soulmate, they better find me soon because im giving up on this" so many times, since 2020, up until 2022 this year i had no expectations, i honestly gave up on it for a bit, i did not care for love or finding my soulmate, i didn't think there would be anybody out there who was literally me but in another body, and when i found you i did not expect for you to fall in love with me, but then you did, what is even funnier, is i happened to fall for you the very first night we met, somehow i felt it, i had that feeling where you know someone is the one for you, which honestly freaked me out because i couldn't tell if i was dreaming or not, i have had so many dreams that were EXACTLY like that night, and i was just waiting to wake up again. But that never happened, and if this is a dream.. I hope i never wake up, because if it meant i could have you in my life forever. I would never stop sleeping. I would dream forever. But since this is the only real thing i have in my life now, i will not let you go. Nor will i give anybody else a chance to be with you or love you the way i do, even if they tried-- pfft. They honestly couldn't love you even half as much as i do. Not even a quarter, my love for you is bigger than the whole entire universe, your love is the only thing that sets me free too. My sweet angel, i will give my life to you. My body, my blood, and even my soul are all yours. All of me is, as i mentioned before, my life is yours too. I would love you, even at your worst. And your best, your not so here days too. Your distant days, your clingy days, your everyday. There is never a time you are not loved by me, it doesn't matter what you do or who you are i don't care how many "You's" i meet, i will love them all. It all makes sense now, and the only reason it does. Is because of YOU.
I love you. I adore you. I need you.
My liberty 🤍
