Classy (LGBTQIA+)

Your Own Happiness

"You look really nice." Sara's eyes flicked over Sophie's violently red hair, which was pulled into a messy bun. Sophie smiled politely but shook her head.

"I was late for school for the first time like.. ever today. It was pretty weird."

"You go to school?" Sara felt slightly uncomfortable - their lives were so different.

"Yeah. Senior year, graduating and then I'm off to college to do whatever career my parents want for me."

"That blows." Sophie laughed - it was always amusing to see Sara's frank speech. And it was much more prominent now that they were very comfortable with each other, not two strangers sitting down in a McDonald's together.

"You know... you said you'd buy me a lunch that I owed you. Trust me the hospital food here is actually awful."

"Alright. Chocolate?"

"Please." Sophie went over to the store in the cafeteria and bought two big slices of cake, which she placed in front of Sara. "You're the best." Sara ate the cake with such velocity that Sophie instantly realized that yeah, the food in the psych ward must suck.

"I try,"

"I get out tomorrow by the way. Also are you ok? You like nice but you also look sleepy," Sleepy was the word because it was not a get-me-10-cups-of-coffee or I will murder you tired, but a cute, didn't-get-enough-sleep-but-still-look-fab tired.

"Yeah, I didn't really get much sleep. Are they seriously going to release you? Where are you going to go?"

"Back to the streets probably. I'll actually get a job at the McDonald's- that place was filthy I'm sure that they would hire me to clean it up. And for winter the soup kitchen is open until I raise enough money."

"And they are just going to let you go back to the streets?" Alarm etched its way onto Sophie's face.

"Honestly, it's awful here. I hate the loss of freedom, its impossible to deal with. I'd rather be on the streets than in here, being constantly patronized and controlled. I mean, I try not to be a control freak but it's nice to have control of your own life, you know? I mean. Maybe I'm just a control freak. It's not that bad."

"I know, but Sara will you be ok? I'm worried about you. Also you have chocolate there," Sophie took a napkin and delicately wiped off the smudge of chocolate on Sara's face.

"Sorry," Sophie said, not meeting Sara's eyes after. A blush glowed on her face. Sara blushed and finished eating her cake."You haven't touched your cake, Sophie. Its no fun if I'm the only one pigging out." Sophie took a delicate bite of the cake. It was good, but her turning stomach was having trouble dealing with the new enemy. Sara made a disgusted noise.

"What?" Sophie asked. "You don't have to be so... dainty all the time. I'm like the last person on earth that would judge you for impolite manners."

"Sorry, I'm just so used to it."

"So, I take it you are not physically capable of being impolite?" Sophie didn't reply. Instead, an evil grin spread across her face. She took a smear of chocolate cake on her finger and flicked and Sara's face. Sara's devilish grin matched Sara as she flung another piece of cake at Sophie. A passing nurse gave them both a stern look and it ended quickly with two red-faced and laughing. Sara's face got serious again.

"What? Don't spoil the moment."

"I'm totally going to spoil it. My psychiatrist - Ethan. You make me happy, Sophie, but..."

"But? I think in your situation happiness is good."

"Yes, happiness is good. But Ethan says I shouldn't rely on you for happiness. For true happiness you have to take it from yourself." Sophie paused. Sara made her happy, and it was quite clear to see that Sophie was pretty much already relying on Sara for happiness. So those words struck a nerve in Sophie's heart.

"Ok. So you take it from within yourself. I'll be there to help."

Sara shook her head. Sophie wasn't understanding. She couldn't have Sophie's help for this, this was something she had to learn for herself.

"You can't... you can't help. It kind of defeats the whole purpose of learning how to be happy from myself."Sophie frowned. In this moment she wanted nothing more to tell Sara about how she really felt about her, and how Sophie had the problem of relying on Sara on top of constantly thinking and worrying about Sara. Being in love was a very tiresome task. But she couldn't even bring her brain around to acknowledge the fact she had fallen in love with a woman. After all, she was a Christian. What would her family think?

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea." She could barely keep the disappointment from her voice. "I should go back to school."

With that, she quickly left Sara. Sara could feel her heart breaking but she knew it was for the best. Over the past two days in the hospital, she had been trying her best to find happiness within herself. And Sophie couldn't help her with that.