Exteriorizing

VI

I constantly find myself surprised

At the stillness of people when I begin to talk

When I aptly and heartily express

That my doubtless hearth knows

Her soul and mine are both the same

She never uttered a word

Yet her sounds always brought me comfort

And she couldn't help me carry my burdens

But beside me, she always walked

Neither motherly nor fatherly love

Had I known before

Until her arrival support meant a strange word

She came to cushion my every fall

She came to heal my gaunt and grumpy soul

The moment my eyes laid on her

My body let my knees fall to the floor

My eyes started pouring

It was the first time I cried of joy

As to why I can't love anyone

In the same way I loved her

That I will not be able to explain

But if you thought I was talking to a woman

I encourage you to think again

I failed at worshiping her divine self

Not me, but my younger self

She couldn't protect her

And now only memories of her remain

Two vanished the day I was told she was gone

I know this since I began to be told

People couldn't recognize me anymore

Although I laugh at these words

As I had been dead long before

My soul became of sorrow laden

A future I craved no more

Why did it have to be me the one standing?

When she was the one who did nothing wrong

The parting words I never said

In my head, day and night, I'm fated to replay

I sat alone in the stars trying to find you

But it seems you no longer live there

I can't believe you haven't changed

I can't believe you look the same

I can't believe you still choose me

I can't believe you're here again