Rue

EPILOGUE

"I finally understood that it is not only memories that we tend to forget, and keep in our brains. Living this world for a time long enough in my own definition, I found that our feelings attached to these memories can be alienated, too. It's a two-pronged process of the human experience which makes us distinct from the other species. We are the only ones who can keep a memory to our biological hard-drives of what happened, and the only same ones who reason out why such things happened." I started to read the last few pages of the book.

"I understood I could never separate psychology and philosophy. Maybe the moment we start to question life is the moment we finally understand it. My uncle Ben was right." I left the stand proud and hopeful. Rue, in her same belted black dress, started clapping together with the crowd.

The book launch was subtle, and peaceful. It ended right away, right after an hour after my speech.

It has been three years since Rue's surgery. We had numerous unsuccessful attempts finding a way to help Rue recover whatever part of herself that she can.

Earlier today before heading to the local bookstore for our launch, we received a letter from a medical institution that wanted to help us. The institution expressed their consolation and shock to the controversial issue we once were a part of; when our story once filled the newspapers; where Dr. Scott put us in that spotlight. We decided to take whatever we can at the moment, with minds more cautious than ever.

"Do you think that all people have already imagined their own version of an apocalyptic future?" Rue asked me. "I'm sorry, it just came to mind."

"Yeah, I think so. Maybe it's the result of our inherent human drive to survive. We always think things will come to an end, so we think of ways how we can manage to go on in the meantime." I answered.

"I think so, too, since death is inevitable and which all people are aware of. It is possible that our tendency is to always attach any concept of an end to death." Rue added.

This is the kind of conversation I have always loved about us. Sensitive topics, but familiar at the same time. I love how we can talk about it comfortably, without the need to worry about judgment.

We complement each other's thoughts almost as if a script had been given to us prior. I love that I am now having this kind of conversation with her again. Maybe it's the outcome of the three years that has passed. The last three years that we spent together no matter how outright rough. I am glad that our history together left me with parts of her that are genuine down to her core, and that I was able to help her recover them back.

But it was also because Rue is cooperative. She trusted me. I am not sure about science, but I am sure about the things that are bigger than it. And, one would be hope. I know the Rue that I knew will come back one day, no matter how long it will take her.

"What do you remember, Rue? Did you actually forget about me, or just the feeling of when you are with me?"

I remember I prefaced that statement months ago. It is only now that I got the courage to ask her. I was scared of how she would answer."

"I saw how our experiences can shape and change us; the same experiences that will soon develop into our memories. I don't know how even if I could not understand why, I had the familiar feeling I was safe with you."

Deep inside, if the odds will never favor me, I will try my best to measure up to whatever ideals the new Rue has now. In all forms and universes, I vow to stay by her side for forever.