Rue

CHAPTER 4

The sun was up later than the past few mornings. I woke up again not sure of when to change the curtains because Rue won't allow me in our bedroom. She kept the curtains in there. How was I to get them?

We have three sets of curtains, all of which are meant for all of the windows in the house. I was mandated that whenever there is a need to change a curtain, either because of dirt or whatever other reason, I need to change all of them, all at once. Of course, we all know who mandated that.

Rue did not like the idea of our friends thinking we do not have taste when it comes to all of the things. Rue was competitive, but she was, at the same time, humble. She did not mind losing, if the game was conducted fairly, but she cared about winning, when it would mean that all goes home fulfilled and happy.

"Rue. Breakfast." I knocked on the bedroom door.

"'Kay." She replied.

It has been twelve days since Rue's surgery. We have not talked about it ever since. I may have been at fault, since I tricked her into believing that I did not know about the surgery before she did. I completely understand that. I cannot stand being lied to as well. I guess I could feel what she felt.

The days went by and all I get is the same mix of the words "I'm not feeling well." Maybe Rue needed time alone. Maybe she was trying to justify why I lied. I figured that making her stressed about my presence won't help her recover, so I stopped insisting on being with her no matter how much I missed her.

In the third week after the surgery, I set up my temporary bed in the living room hoping I will never have to use it for long, which I did. I remember myself surprised by the fact that I actually was missing being snatched of my pillows and sheets, and waking up to none every single morning. My mind developed a constant hope about how I'd rather wake up pillow and sheet naked, than wake up alone.

Not only that, though. All of the things felt strange around Rue. It was like I was living with a roommate I only just met a few weeks ago. It did not make sense. And, of course, it bugged me.

On one Tuesday morning, I saw her drink coffee from my mug which made me think that maybe she is trying to pull a prank on me. I swear if Rue is trying to scare the hell out of me, I will take this to the grave to get even in the smarter ways I know, just like our tradition during April fools. I miss when she makes me breakfast on a plate full of crappy food.

I wanted to convince myself that maybe Rue was indeed trying to trick me into something where I would make a fool of myself, just like how she wants it. But the events from the past days did not feel like treachery. They all felt real.

The other day was even stranger. I heard someone plucking the guitar. The chords were happy chords; a complete arrangement of what sounded like a country singer in her early days as a musician. Yet no matter how cheery the chords were, all I felt was tension while listening to it.

We did not have a visitor that day, but I do know that it is only I in that household who could play the guitar. I wondered if, maybe, Rue's brother came.

I hurriedly ran upstairs, and to my surprise, saw Rue holding the guitar instead. She was as if she had been playing it since she was my age when I learned to play it.

But her face looked honest about being a newbie guitar player. I saw the curiosity; that she was still at the point of just beginning to learn.

What was problematic in that scenario was that I taught her so many times already in the past, but it never worked out. She did not have the hands and the ears to do it. She kept on singing away from the chords. She was not born to play and produce music. She was born to listen and glorify it.

"When did you start?" I asked her.

"Earlier today." She answered.

I convinced myself that nothing is impossible, and that ended that mysterious day of wondering again what was wrong with Rue, when it was not even a question of what was wrong anymore. I asked myself if she was still the Rue that I knew.

A month passed, and I could feel the vibe of the holidays coming. His father sent us an invitation to celebrate the holidays with them. Of course, I knew Rue would go. That's the only holiday I never get to keep her. I decided I will go with her that one time, because I never once did.

"Rue, Roger's invitation came in today."

"Yeah, I know. He texted me, and says he misses me. But I don't feel like going."

"W-hat? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"What did Roger say?"

"Do we really have to talk about it?"

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Never in my life have I thought I would be having such a conversation with Rue. Everyone has a hero in their lives. In Rue's life, that was Roger. He was so important that if given the chance to choose between me and Roger, on who to save in a sinking boat, I know Rue will never pick me, and I will understand why.

This was the moment when things started getting out of hand. Roger would randomly visit us, to check on Rue. But she would not talk to him. During his last visit, Rue shouted at him and told him never to come back anymore. Roger suffered from a heart attack because of that. I began to acknowledge that the changes in her behavior were not normal. I immediately sent a letter to Dr. Scott to inform him of these and to ask for his help.